You’re pregnant! Now what?

You’ve had the signs of pregnancy: nausea, swollen breasts, a nagging cramping sensation, etc. Then you get the most obvious one: a missed period.

You purchase one (or two) pregnancy test and read the instructions carefully. Then you take the test.

And wait.

Slowly, you pick up the test and read the result: Pregnant.

Now, whether your initial reaction is one of fear, joy, disappointment, excitement or some combination of the four, it’s really immaterial. You’re a mother now.

Chances are, if you’re on this site, getting pregnant happened before you wanted to. So what now?  

1) Give yourself a day or so to just absorb the news. This is bigger than anything that has ever happened to you and you need to give yourself time to understand what just happened. If you got hit by a truck, you wouldn’t be in your right mind the next day, would you? (Yes, I did just compare the two. Come back in a few years – you’ll understand what I mean.) Do something relaxing, like taking a long bubble bath. Go to bed early. Your life will soon begin to change in ways you can only imagine.

2) Make your first prenatal appointment. Some doctors will refuse to see you until you are about nine weeks long, simply because there isn’t much they can do until then. When you discover you’re pregnant, you’re usually somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks, depending on how regular your period is and when you take the test.

3) Start building that good ol’ support system. This is so crucial. When you’re dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, it disrupts your whole life. You realize things you used to do will no longer fit in the life you now face. You need a good support system, even more so if you’re going at this alone. It’s all hands on deck now and the more people you have in your corner, the better. When you’re at the doctor’s office, or looking around at daycare centers, make small talk with the other moms. Ask them for advice. People are usually very willing to help.

4) Figure out your financial picture. Babies are expensive and can wreck havoc on your finances. Young moms are hit twice as hard because we don’t make as much as our older counterparts, and we (usually) are doing it alone, as a single mom. Here are some questions you should ask yourself sooner, rather than later:

• Are you working currently? Are you eligible for maternity leave? Who will watch the baby once you go back to work. If daycare or a babysitter, how will you pay them?
• Do you have insurance? Will the baby be on your plan? Do you have good maternity coverage?
• How much do you have in savings? Will you be able to increase the amount you save each month before the baby gets here?
• How will you be able to provide for the baby? Babies need diapers, formula, clothes, doctors visits, etc. How will you pay for that?

This is just a starting point and is by no means everything you need to think about. But I found that doing this helped me keep my sanity in those first few weeks and months where I was consumed with worry from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to sleep.

What advice would you have for new young moms?