10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Kids

I wrote this for BMWK.com, posted 12/18/08

I wish I knew…

1. How much I would worry about finances. Pre-baby, when my bank account balance was nearing zero I knew I could always scrape by, perhaps skip a meal or two, and I’d survive. Now? There’s no getting around a lack of cash. Something always needs to be purchased. Kids poop, so they need diapers. They need to be fed, so you buy baby food. There’s no such thing as making the kids skip a few meals to make it to payday. It just can’t happen.

2. Babies don’t cry because they want to aggravate you. Babies cry because they can’t talk. Once I understood this, motherhood became a heck of a lot easier.

3. Babies are kind of boring. I can hear the moms screaming now, “Babies aren’t boring! They’re gifts from God and brighten your life and make you feel whole and blah blah blah.” Babies are cute, I’ll give you that. But they aren’t very interesting. Once you get past the coos and giggles, each day becomes “How am I going to entertain you before you have a screaming fit in my face?” You can only play peek-a-boo but for so long.

4. Using the bathroom with the door open would become a daily thing. I wish I could say I had more modesty, but I don’t.

5. Living on the second floor of an apartment building is NOT a good thing. Lugging my two babies up the stairs is a job by itself. By the time we get inside the apartment, sweat is streaming down my face and it takes me a good five minutes stretched out on the couch to catch my breath while my daughter asks me, “What’s wrong, Mommy? Mommy? You okay?”

6. How much becoming a parent changes your marriage (or relationship)…in the bedroom. My husband and I used to be on each other ALL THE TIME. (Hence, having two babies between 2006 and 2008.) Now? Let’s just say the frequency has changed quite a bit. Still decent, but nowhere near the free-for-all we used to have. God bless the parents who can still keep it hot all times of the day and night.

7. That my mind would turn to Jell-O at times. I used to be brilliant. I could listen to a college lecture and spit it back at you verbatim. I never ever studied for tests in college and managed to graduate magna cum laude. I’m still smart, but I definitely have to work a lot harder if I want to make it through the day with my sanity intact.

8. That I really can’t function on four hours of sleep a night (see #7). I need my sleep. No, really. I do. My husband knows this. After learning his lesson with Baby #1, he avoided making conversation with me until Baby #2 started sleeping through the night. There was no telling what would make me snap.

9. How much I would love my kids. My babies are my air. They are the reason I’m here. I love them beyond life. I could just sit and stare at them all day.

10. Some days will be better than others. Some days will be pure torture – the kids won’t stop screaming, the house is a mess, your spouse is cranky, you burned dinner, etc. But then other days will be pure bliss – your baby said “Mama” for the first time, your husband bought you flowers for no reason, your boss complimented you for working hard. I’ve learned to embrace the bad days too. They make the good days even sweeter!