Spend enough time on the mommy blogs or a message board and you’ll see these three-letters often: “TTC.” It took me forever to figure out what it meant until one day – duh!- it dawned on me – they’re “trying to conceive.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I envy those couples who get all giddy and go about quitting their birth control method and start planning date nights where they KNOW they’ll be getting some at the end, and the ovulation tests and temperature readings and pregnancy tests and…Ugh.
Shoot.me.now.
It never quite happened that way for me. It’s like if I sneeze good, I’ll be pregnant again. Hell, my only goal for 2009 is to ring in 2010 without a new baby or a baby bump.
Hubby and I met, couldn’t keep our hands off each other, BAM! Baby #1. Lost the baby weight, started working out, hubby liked what he saw, BAM! Baby #2.
I never got to make that choice. I never got to say, “Hey, I want kids, this would be a good time, let’s get it on!” And then have to work at it. As in, actively trying to get pregnant.
I had co-workers ask me, “Was it planned?” when I came in sporting my Baby #2 bump. While it is really none of their business, it got me thinking about how my outlook on pregnancy and motherhood would have been different if I had actually made plans for them to be here.
What do you think? I’m not trying to be rude, but instead open conversation. Were your kids planned? If so, how did you know it was time? If not, how did you feel when you found out?
I was clueless on the TTC abbreviation for a while too, so don’t feel bad. I think it’s great when a couple decides that it is time to have babies, but like you, it didn’t happen that way for me. Hubby and I weren’t married at the time but knew that we would eventually jump the broom. Baby No. 1 coming into the picture was a big surprise, but I was finished school, had a good job and had done a bit of travelling, so mommyhood at 23 was okay by me. The other two came in rapid succession. None of our kids were planned by us. But as I like to say, the were planned by someone far greater: GOD. And I’m glad things turned out the way they did. The youngest is 4 and now were really starting to have fun with them. Our first family vacation is planned for this summer. PS. The downside on the TTC is when it doesn’t happen fast enough or at all, as can happen. Then these couples go from being excited to going through hell trying to expand their family.
I have 3 kids. My son is 10 and he definately was NOT planned. I was pregnant with him my senior year of high school and I gave birth to him in between summer and fall session of colege. My twins are 17 months old and they were planned. I did get giddy with planning to conceive because of the unplanned pregnancy with my son. Now I wasn’t taking temperatures and all that stuff, but I did go off my birth control because my doc told me it would take at least 6 months for me to conceive after going off of birth control pills. That was so false because I was pregnant within a month of stopping the pills. It was really easy for me to get pregnant, but I feel for the couples who go through a lot to get pregnant–it makes me cherish and love my kids more.
Sidenote: Maybe if someone wholooked great already would stop trying to lose weight and get their body back, they won’t have to worry about the hubby being all over them and turning my guest room into another nursery 😛
But anyways, my pregnancy was not planned at all. I was not in the right situation to get pregnant when I did and by that particular sperm donor, so I just wanted to die! But like another commenter just said, it was planned by someone else: God. Even though things have been rough raising him on my own, He brought him into my life at that time for a purpose and gave me what I wanted, a boy!
I have to say that I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason
Both of my pregnancies were not planned. I went to the caribbean for two weeks, away from husband and during that time forgot to take four of my pills. Came back home and gotten a welcome back gift 😉 and that’s when baby #1 came along. Fast forward two years…and I have no idea how this one happened but it did. I was too busy to even notice that I was missing aunty p for three months! My belly just starting getting bigger and I’m thinking it had to be because of thanksgiving/ christmas dinner. I instantly thought of what everyone would think, with both pregnancies. Being so young and having them so close together in age, I knew I was going to disappoint a lot of people. I had things going for me, career wise, and many thought this was going to be a setback. But I know I’m very ambitious and I always get what I want
Like I said, things happen for a reason and God wouldn’t throw things at us he didn’t think we can overcome. Having children is a blessing and I don’t regret it.
i’m way late (computer issues)…but i find this topic interesting.
anyhoo, my daughter (age 2.5) was npt planned. when i found out i was pregnant, i nearly crapped a brick! at first, it was sheer shock because i did not think i could even get pregnant. it had been five years with hubby and 3 out of those, i was iffy or not even on birth control. so i thought my plumbing didn’t work. but once it was confirmed, i was scared, mainly because at that point, i drank a glass of wine at dinner most days of the week, so i was convinced my baby would have one eye and three legs (ignorant).
my twins just turned 2 weeks old today and they were and were not planned. while hubby and i (moreso hubby) wanted to give baby girl a sibling, twins were and still are shockingly a surprise, but i had no control over that part…we just were shooting for/discussing having one more :-S i figured it this way, if we were going to have anymore kids, i wanted to do it before i turned 30 and i wanted to shut down the factory so i could get my body back to myself forever. not to mention, i really loathe being pregnant, so i wanted to hurry up and get it over with. also, i remember how it was when my brother came along and i was 5.5. i hated it and him because i was old enough to understand that he was a little crumbsnatcher trying to steal my shine. my daughter is still young enough to where she has not learned contempt yet, so i felt like the timing was best and she’s adjusting pretty well. just my two cents…
@ Courtney – Yes, I like what the other commenter said too about the baby being planned by God. I wish I had thought of that when everyone decided to climb all up in my uterus!! LOL.
@ Mom of 3 – See, I know those parents must feel a ton of frustration when they’re baby making plans don’t hash out right away, and in some cases take months or years before they get a positive “pregnant” sign. But I think at the end of it (and remember I don’t know what I’m talking about) they should feel proud of themselves for CREATING a life. I mean, we all do, but they worked at it. It’s like someone who was surprised with a promotion versus someone who worked their way up the ladder. Doesn’t mean they don’t both work hard at their jobs, it’s just that one came easier than the other…Thanks for sharing your story and hope all is well with you!
@ Kaye – Yeah, I would definitely have to say that things have turned out for the best. I would have never pictured myself as a mommy of two at 23, but here I am! And I thought I would never be able to say this but – I love it!