My blogger friend Jenn runs the blog, Baby Makin Machine, where she ponders over whether she is ready to become a mom. She’s our age (23) and has been married for almost five years. The simple fact that she has created an entire blog to chronicle her journey to motherhood lets you know she’s serious. 
She recently posted about why people choose to have babies earlier (like us) versus people who wait until their 30s or later. In writing my reply, I realized my comment might make a good post by itself. Here’s what I told her:
I honestly think you should wait (if you’re still having doubts that is – if you feel comfortable with your decision – go for it!)
Do I love my kids? Yes, I do. Do I want to go back to being childless? No, I don’t.
But I do sometimes wish I had them later. Like you, I wasn’t much of a partying type and my idea of a good time is sipping a white chocolate mocha at the bookstore on a Friday night. But it’s not like I want to be a wild child, it’s just (like others here have mentioned) your life is not your own.
I joke with my friends that motherhood is a 18-to-life prison sentence and while I am joking, there is a bit of truth to it. Your thoughts, actions, decisions, activities, career choices, work schedules, etc, all revolve around your child (as it should be). I won’t have my thoughts to myself ever again. I will always carry my kids in my mind and my heart.
Motherhood isn’t glamorous and it’s not easy and quite frankly, it sucks sometimes. It’s very rewarding but it’s hard. There’s no Control-Alt-Delete button. Once you dive in, there’s no turning back. Motherhood is emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. It’s work. I think in order to really make the decision of whether or not to have kids, you have to try to understand that. Your life is permanently changed.
Do I think you overthink things? Yes. 
Even if you read all the parenting books and magazines and try to picture what you’ll do in different scenarios, you won’t know until you’re in the moment, you have that baby in your arms and you realize you’re responsible. But I do think you will be a great mom, but having kids is a little like learning to swim. You can either go out and buy the expensive googles and sleek bathing suit, or you can just work with what you have – either way, you might end up sputtering a bit as you learn how to float. Either way you do it (planned versus “surprise!”) you will learn about motherhood the same way.
I do wish you the best of luck! Make a decision soon! LOL.
What do you think? Was my advice right on point? Knowing what you know now about motherhood, would you advise a 23-year-old to get pregnant or wait a while if she’s still having doubts?
I think you commented beautifully and honestly. I don’t think a woman can ever be “ready” for motherhood because 1. Each and every child is unique and will bring with it its own unique set of surprises, challenges and joys; and 2. Life changes each and every day. You never know what situation will arise in parenting just like you never know what situation will arise in life and you’d just have to cross the bridge when you came to it…
One thing is for sure, if you are constantly second guessing yourself and making a mountain out of a mole hill then you are clearly not ready to add a baby to the mix. Like you said, once you realize that baby will be included in everything thing that you do, and once you are sure that you can provide unconditional love and support then you are ready to add a baby to the mix.
I think 23 is a great age. By the time baby is off to college you’d still be young… at least that’s what I like about having a 6 yr old at 25. And this is also coming from someone who was raised by her great-grandmother. There are definitely benefits to being a young mommy, but again, that would require you to be mature enough to handle the responsibility.
@ Ms. Bar B – “There are definitely benefits to being a young mommy, but again, that would require you to be mature enough to handle the responsibility.” Man, I could make a book out of all the tidbits you leave in your comments.