I honestly don’t want to write about Jon and Kate Plus 8 anymore, but something about this whole drama/scandal/ratings push/tabloid affair makes me seethe. 
Now, I know that Kate isn’t the world’s nicest person and she probably won’t have the marriage counselor on her side when and if she and Jon decide on some therapy sessions.
But.
This is a woman who has eight kids. Went from zero kids to eight kids in a little over three years. She lost her job, her husband lost his, and they were staring at eight babies trying to figure out how to feed them.
So TLC comes along. They say, “Hey, your family is interesting – can we do a one-hour special on you?” Probably thrilled that they will be able to pay some bills, the Gosselins agree. It’s not like TLC was MTV or ABC. Can you even name a show on TLC before the Gosselin crew arrived? They probably had no clue what they were getting into, but figured since they had control over when the crews shot, everything would be okay.
Fast forward four years.
Their marriage in shambles, the kids old enough to know what’s going on, financial situation noticably improved, Jon stays home with the kids while Kate embarks on her new career as a book author/mom maven.
People have been giving her all kinds of crap for being away from home so much, and making Jon stay home with the kids.
Excuse me? Didn’t Kate quit her job as a nurse to stay home and watch all those babies from the beginning? Wasn’t Jon away from the house the majority of the day working?
So now when the kids are older and more independent and -gasp! – in school during the day, it’s somehow bad for Kate to have a career? Did anyone ever think that maybe, just maybe this second career will enable them to quit the show, or at the very least, allow them to pull back and go back to the one-hour specials?
What if Kate never did the show? Can you imagine the hours they would probably be working to support all those kids?
It’s like she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. When you didn’t see Kate flying off to book signings, people criticized her for being lazy and just laying around the house while TLC wrote the checks. Now that she’s actually writing books and doing appearances, now the criticism shifts to, “Oh, look she’s never home.”
I read her book, Multiple Blessings and this is a woman who didn’t really leave the house during the first year of the sextuplets life. Read that again. She didn’t leave the house.
Let’s not forget, she’s only, what? 34? Now that the kids are older and in school, what exactly is she supposed to do? If she never had aspirations to be a stay-at-home mom, why should she be now?
I agree. There ain’t a damn thing wrong with Kate being a mother AND having a career. And there shouldn’t be a damn thing wrong with Jon being home for a while since Kate was home during the beginning of the kids lives. Now, having said that, they as parents had to have known that having multiples was going to be a lot of work. Granted that a pregnancy is always a crap shoot, you never know how many little buns there could end up being in the oven, they had a head start on life with multiples because they already had the twins and they knew that with doing IVF (they did do IVF, right?) there were more than likely gonna be more multiples on the way with a second pregnancy.
Of course both Jon and Kate would be overwhelmed with all the excitement and responsibility and when you add the lime light into that… well, we already know how “we” as viewers of drama are. We can’t wait until something goes terribly wrong to start throwing stones. Just because Kate is the mother of multiples DOES NOT mean she should be or has to be a stay at home mom. I think she should continue on with her career, and hopefully her and Jon will be able to work out things within their marriage because I fear that if they do split, she might not be able to continue with travel and work the way she wants to.
@ Ms. Bar B – Well, they originally were pregnant with seven and one didn’t fully develop, so they were presented with six and decided that they didn’t want to selectively reduce the number of fetuses. Which is totally cool.
I think they did really well considering the circumstances (I can’t BELIEVE Kate isn’t on some type of anti-depressant). Like I said in the post, who could have predicted this from a wholesome, TLC-show? Who even watches TLC?
I totally, totally agree.
HOWEVER! I also think that as a Mom and wife you also have to understand when to take a break because family should still be top priority. I admire her for having 8 kids and now having a career she loves. But, I think when her career is obviously putting a strain on her marriage and her kid’s lives at this time, why isn’t she taking a break? Why isn’t she putting her family first? She just seems really selfish right now in that way. Please don’t get me wrong, I love me some Jon and Kate Plus Eight and I REALLY admired them all before all this drama. But now? I’m questioning what’s truly important to her. Which, honestly hurts me because I so wanted them to be a positive show and family in the media, not falling for success and money traps. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to have a career and support her family, even in this way, but I think a person needs to realize when they are in over their head and lost who they are in this.
@ Leah – Oh, Leah, will you get out my head? LOL.
I do agree that the kids should be top priority and maybe she should take a step back now because things aren’t going so well at home. However, I like to assume the best in people (which could be either admirable or naive) and perhaps maybe originally she thought since Jon was at home taking care of kids, everything was okay. Bills were paid, she saw the kids when she was home, when she was gone they still had their dad there. I dunno, I’m not in the house 24/7, I only see what TLC allows me to see.
But I do agree. I think the Gosselins were promoting family values and everything was focused on the kids, but I REALLY would have liked to see them work on their marriage more. I remember when Kate said something to the effect of, “Oh, we’re so busy with these kids, we don’t have time to work on our marriage right now…” True, kids take a lot of your time, but if you don’t make that daily interaction with your husband a priority when the children are young, you will lose that connection as you drift apart in your role as Mommy and Daddy.
Oh, Leah, I could go on and on!
Sorry I don’t feel the least bit sorry for either one of them. I used to watch the show before all the “drama” started and figured they were going to eventually have problems.
John stated that he didn’t want any more kids after the first two, and she wanted one more. Okay, everyone knows that when you do that fertility stuff the chances of just having one are slim to none. Another thing, I saw her on the Today and she was talking about her book and said that she didn’t write the book for money. Yeah right that’s why your doing a book tour. I think they’ve gotten caught up. I mean how many people get paid for having a camera tape their interactions with their children. John and Kate are millionaires due to the show and they both need to prioritize the most important thing which is the kids.
Futhermore, neither one of them never stayed home with those kids alone as soon as the show started they hired babysitters, and now they have a nanny. That’s why Jon can go out while Kate’s gone.
@ J’s mommy – You make good points but a few questions/observations. If I had eight kids and had the means to hire a nanny or babysitter, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’m getting exhausted just thinking about taking care of eight kids all day long. There’s a reason why daycares are required to have a certain ratio of teachers/kiddos. It’s too hard to watch all of them at once. While yes, plenty of other moms with a busload of kids managed to make it work, I can’t fault Kate for getting help.
And with multiples, most of the time you usually do only end up getting one, BUT you have to be willing to accept multiples and I think they said they were prepared for triplets. (Damn, I know WAY too much about these people.) Sextuplets was not part of the plan and extremely rare (but like I said earlier, you’ve got to be willing to accept multiples whatever the number.) I think Jon may have some resentment toward Kate for pushing him to have “just one more” but hey – the babies are five now. Time to man up and get the hell over it. If he didn’t want anymore kids, no one forced him into the procedure.
I don’t know if I will continue to watch. I have faithfully watched every episode but now there’s a marriage breaking apart in front of my eyes and it’s too painful to watch…
Wow I haven’t comment in a while but I’ve been lurking. I just wanted to comment on this piece. I can’t see what’s the big deal for kate to go out and have career and take care of her family. If jon was doing that, leaving kate all by herself to take care of eight kids, trust that this wouldn’t be such an issue. Society’s way of thinking sucks like that. People have to realize this is the 21st century and women makes up almost half of the working population. Give the women a break! I’m surprise she didn’t end up in the psych ward by now!!
@ Cassandra – “Give the women a break! I’m surprise she didn’t end up in the psych ward by now!!”
THIS. is why I love you.
Yes, think about it. That woman was single-handedly running a DAYCARE center in her home. I think she deserves to have a career now, especially since the kids are in school.
Thanks for the post. You really brought up a lot of interesting points that I hadn’t thought of and I guess I can say that you’re right. That being said, I watched the show for the very first time last week and was absolutely appalled. She needs help. I was surprised at how she spoke to her husband and how she ignored him. She’s very controlling and disrespectful….and this is why I really think she’s getting so much flack, not because of the travelling or because of the book deals. She just doesn’t seem nice. and I guess in reality that’s ok, but she needs to recognize that she’s out of balance and get some help…start with individual counseling first because she can only change herself.
@ Danielle – Oh, I’m not saying she’s the nicest woman/wife in the world. There are some things she needs to work on – quick! – and acknowledge whatever role she has played in the rough patch of her marriage. I was mainly speaking to the people who criticize her for working and doing book tours. If I ever become so lucky as to have a New York Times bestselling book, you better believe I will be out there promoting it, even if it means I have to bring the kiddos along!
I agree.
No offence, I think Kate should get the kids. I love Jon and all but, Kate did all the stuff when they were little! Give them to her!!
@Britany – I think Jon is acting like an immature frat boy so I don’t know if he should have the kids. But whatever they decide, I truly hope it is in the best interest of the kids.
Okay everyone, Would you all stop and think about things! Yes, they could caught up in things but “WHO WOULDN’T” Come on now! Anybody in that situation would get caught up in the very same way! I do have to say if I talked to my husband the way she did most of the time. I would of been divorse a long time ago. But on the other hand, I feel Jon was a passive person and one day woke up and said I am still young and now I have money and I want more. I feel his male ego got caught up and was bruised and he is mad at Katie for being away alot. His male ego got bruised! That’s what this whole thing is about! I do not doubt that they both have their children first and formost in the minds. Katie is taking hit for being the provider in the family and Jon can’t take it! Now that said, I feel that everyone now needs to leave these two adults and their children alone and let them figure out their lives. Life is funny the more you have the more you want. That is normal!BUT it is not what should be!! BUT WE ARE HUMAN! By the way, The above statement from Tara is I agree with her! She wasn’t the nicest women/wife but I too if I had a best selling book, I too would be out there promoting it as well. Katie, you did what every women in the U.S. would of done maybe not in the sameway but has anybody taken care of eight kids at one time. I have and it took three women to do it! You have to have twenty hands!! Plus she had the all the TV staff around all the time! You try doing it! I don’t care how many people you had there helping, you know your own kids better than anybody else! I agree with the statement that you have to make time to work on your marriage. I think that was the problem right there they didn’t and Jon ego got bruised as I said.But it also takes two to tango. So both of them are to blame for not taking time for the two of them. As far as Jon being mad at Katie for having another baby well all I can say about that is I agree what the other person said! No one force him! I wish them well! But I feel this marriage is over!
@Debra – Something about this couple gets everyone very heated! lol.
But I TOTALLY agree about his ego being bruised. The way Kate talked to him probably wasn’t that big of a deal before, but once they got on TV, people started snickering, probably telling him she was a wench and he didn’t have to take it and he must be a punk for allowing it to happen. Totally agree with you – a man with a bruised ego will do anything to repair it.
i’m a jon//kate lover!! and its sad to see that there’s a marriage breaking up!
i must say though if i talked to my boyfriend the way she talked to him, i’d of been out the door before i could think of even doing it again. and, her controlling issue, definately woulda had me out the door. But in the same sense…she HAD to, or else her life would be a freakin’ chaos. i come from a family of 9 children…and i KNOW what its like not having organization, control, and a set plan from day2day. Kate did what she HAD to do in order to make daily life “liveable.” I read her book, and she says in there constantly about her, making bottles, and burping them, and gettin up for there feedings, and going to visit them while they were still in the nicu. Kate is a good mom. does she do everything perfect. no. does she always do the right thing. no. but she’s a human. a mom just like us. she makes mistakes, but thats whats so respectable about her. the whole spanking incident had me spitting nails. here’s how i see things. i want to see the reporters//photographers//paparazzi’s c-section scar from having those kids, and see how its healing. because obviously they think its there place to state HOW KATE’S children should be disciplined. if she wants to discipline her kids with spanking, that should be HER choice. i’m a new mother, and i’ve been judged so many times as it is, and i’ve wnanted to break down and cry, i admire kate for being sooooo strong to be able to not just be judged by the old bitter lady in the grocery store, but by the ENTIRE world. and still keep it together, to face a divorce and Jon isn’t neccessarily makin her look the best right now. and still stay freakin’ beautiful and strong through it. i envy her. my mom always says: “i am woman hear me roar.” i think kate deserves to Roar!! 