So a friend-of-a-friend recently found out she was pregnant. Wonderful news, right? I think so.
But apparently, my friend is already thinking about how to tell her boss. It’s still pretty early (not too many people know about it) and according to the friend, her boss hates married women and women with families.
FAN-tastic. (Catch the sarcasm?)
So she wants to know: How to break the news?
Well, for me, it was particularly awkward.
I had JUST accepted a full-time position.
My boss had really pulled for me to get this position and this salary.
Another co-worker in my department was pregnant, so we would already be short-staffed once her maternity leave rolled around.
No more than two weeks after accepting the position, I strolled in my boss’ office, nervous and fidgeting. We were discussing an upcoming project I was working on.
After we discussed the details, she leaned back away from the table. “So, anything new with you?” she asked.
I paused. Was this the moment? Should I tell her?
“Well…,” I said, slowly. “My husband and I just discovered we’re expecting baby number two.”
She smiled. I could tell she was shocked but she did a good job covering it. “Well,” she said, “that’s wonderful news. I’m happy for you.”
And I could tell she meant it.
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I walked down the hall back to my office. Whew.
The only advice I have to is to be upfront about what your plans are. Since you might not know what your plans are yet, take a month or two to just absorb the news yourself, and then figure out what you might do.
Will you take 12-weeks maternity leave? Longer? Shorter? Will you do a gradual return to the office? Thinking of suggesting a different schedule once you return from maternity leave?
I also found it helpful to create a calendar of the the projects that will need to be completed during your maternity leave. The more detailed, the better. The earlier you can show it to your boss, the better. It shows you still care about the work getting done, even if you won’t be there to do it.
Being pregnant at work is a WHOLE ‘nother post, but I’ll leave it there for now.
Ladies – any advice for the career-minded mommy to be? How did you tell your boss you were expecting?
With our first, I was in high school… so, no surprise – no boss to tell. With our second, my husband was working and I was a stay at home mom. With our third, we were both in college… so again, no boss to worry about.
With our fourth, I was working at a Chrysler dealership and was pretty close with everyone I worked with so it wasn’t a huge issue. I told them all as soon as I found out and I worked – dependably – until about a week before I was scheduled for induction. They got a temp to fill my position from a staffing agency and I was out for a little over a month. I started coming in after the first couple of weeks just for a little while here and there, making sure nothing got totally screwed up while I was out *haha*
With our fifth, I was the accountant, tax specialist, and office manager for a monument company. When I found out, I was kind of scared as to how my boss was going to take it because I was literally the backbone of the company’s entire operation and they depended on me for everything. (plus he was insane and a firecracker anyway, so you never knew what would set him off) I caught him when he was in a good mood and kind of just “popped” it on him in conversation during lunch. (he bought lunch for the office every day so that we didn’t have to leave) He took it well. I worked up until I was induced. They bought me a laptop and a wireless router and we signed up for GoToMyPC so I could work from home. I did invoicing, statements, taxes, etc and all they had to do was fax me copies of service orders, receipts, etc. It worked out fine. I was out for 7 weeks and never missed a beat.
I think the most important thing is to be up front about your plans – if they know what to expect, it’s likely to go much more smoothly. And, I know there will be days when you feel like CRAP, but be as dependable as you POSSIBLY can. If they see nothing is changing, they won’t be quite as apprehensive. Also, offer to do as much as you can from home, and perhaps pop into the office from time to time over your leave if need be…
I was going to say I had no experience telling the boss, but I totally forgot I was working when I got pregnant. I honestly don’t remember how I told my boss though. I was picking up extra hours with another manager, so I remember telling her I could only work 60 hours a week now instead of 80. She was real cool about it since I was doing her a favor. My co-workers helped out a lot and wouldn’t let me do anything strenous (sp?). My regular manager…idk why I’m drawing a blank but he was cool about it. He asked if I wanted to work less and I didn’t. I was 5 months pregnant and still working 60+ hours a week. It wasn’t until I had to be placed on bedrest that I think issues came about since a replacement in both locations had to be found for me.
I think it’s best to wait awhile. Make sure you have looked into how long your spot will be held, if you qualify for FMLA, would short term disability cover you, will you be guaranteed the same position when you return, etc.
When I was a RA and got pregnant, I wasn’t sure how they would handle it so I first when to Kim–the Area Coordinator and asked about a “friend” who was pregnant and wanted to know what would happen/if she could keep her job/etc., before I came out and revealed that it was actually me. If I didn’t get the answer I wanted, I probably would have hid it for as long as I could!
This probbaly doesn’t help much, but that was my situation. I got hired in October, found out I was pregnant in November, so to just get into the position then have to announce I was pregnant and would eventually need time off made me uneasy until I just decided to be straight up about it
I was a wimp. Got hired five months pregnant and never said anything to any one. I waited until people starting asking me if I was pregnant.
During my seventh month, my boss asked if I was pregnant. Finally. She asked how much time I would need, I said a few months.
My daughter is almost four months old and I haven’t gone back yet.
I guess I’m a stay at home mommy now.
@Janelle – So…wait, are you still on maternity leave? Do you want to go back (eventually)? Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mommy…
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I am a research student and submitted my thesis already, now waiting for my viva which should happen in 3-4 months. I just found out that I am in initial stage of pregnancy (1st month) and have been advised by doctor to take utmost caution and asked not to commute for atleast 15 days. Although I am not on a job, my advisor expects me to report to the institute and do some work. I am now wondering how I should tell her that I am pregnant. I am not sure if she would be amazed at this because she is very much career oriented and expects all girls to first establish their career before planning anything else. Please suggest something