I found myself in a rut last year, as moms sometimes do.
I would wake up, get my kids dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, feed my kids, bathe my kids, read stories to my kids, tickle my kids, give my kids goodnight kisses, and then tuck my kids into bed. Then I’d go to my computer to work to bring in additional income to take care of my kids. Every day. The same thing.
But then I started meeting with my friend Arlice for monthly “Writer Mama” meetings at our local Borders, where we plot how exactly we’re going to take over the world. (Oh, yes, it’s coming and wait ’til you hear about Arlice’s project! It’s gonna change the game for everyone!) A newbie at this motherhood stuff, I began soaking up some of the wisdom she has gained over the years as a young, savvy mama of four.
My girl had an obssession with lattes. Always got one whenever we met. She told me she frequently stopped at Borders before heading home, making it her own little happy hour spot.
I admit I never understood how she could do it. I was overwhelmed with my two kiddos – she had FOUR. Wouldn’t the house fall apart if she wasn’t home ASAP? Wouldn’t the kids drive her overwhelmed hubby up a wall, leaving him ragged by the time she got home? How could I sit and leisurely flip through magazines knowing good and well my kids hadn’t seen me all day?
But then I realized – she had it right. She had figured out a way to keep her finger on the pulse of what was important in her life. She needed that time to recharge and refocus so that when she did go home, she was able to give her all to the four kids who demanded her attention.
I tried it a couple times and I was pleasantly surprised at how much more patient and calm I was when I got home. I was still in a blissful state by the time the kids started up with their “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, may I please have…?”
So this is your challenge: Find somewhere to go before you head home. For one day, have your own happy hour before you go home and become Mommy. Now, you could do like Arlice and read to your local bookstore, grab a latte and flip through the latest issue of insert-the-name-of-your-favorite-magazine-here. Or, heck, you can stop at the gas station, grab a drink and sip it in the parking lot. These don’t have to be elaborate plans. Just something to give yourself time to shift from one role to another.
Let me know in the comments what you did for your very own happy hour!
Ahem, pardon my slang, but um…you ain’t said nuthin’ but a word!! I try to do this at least once a month. Since Kris and I work from home, we pack up our beloved laptops, oh, and our daughters too (he he!), and we head to our local bookstore, stop at the in-house Starbucks, then he grabs his comic books (yep, he’s a grown up who loves comic books!), and takes the girls over to the kiddie section to read and play while I stay clear across the other end of the store, Venti Decaf Soy Caramel Macchiato, extra caramel in hand, laptop in front of me, and magazines on top of the laptop because I have to chill for a while before I get to my writing!
So glad other sister-mommies are doing this too. A much needed reprieve from our beautiful chaos.
My happy consists of the 15 mins from work to home! It’s really tough to find time for just me, but I will try my best! It’s a great idea – it’s just tough when you are single mom and you have to rely on baby sitters and preschools!
@Meg – I know it’s harder for single moms. I get that completely. That’s why I said it didn’t have to be some extravagant outing. Just some time for you. I think single moms (whose minds and bodies must be ON 100% of the time) need it most, so I encourage you to do whatever you can! Every little bit helps.
I really like this! its very vare that I ever get to have “mommytime”. As a mother of a 2 year old life gets really hectic and routine, for my alone time I like to either watch a show without the chaos around me
just me cozy on the couch
I make use of downtime at work to have some mommytime, whether it be reading fantastic blogs like this one or mentally vegging out in a happy daydream.
I’m happy you were able to find this escape. I’m sure sooo many moms could benefit from this.
Aww shucks!
We moms at YML should start a First Moms Movement so we can be so much more to those we love. I love and need my little spot and the girl power get-togethers. I take that good energy home with me to the fam.
@Execumama, now that’s the life I’m talking about right there!