My belly. Stretch marks and pudge and all...Hoping the boobs will distract you
Do you know how many photos I took before deciding to upload this one? 42.
Click. “Hmmm, that’s too close up.”
Click. “Maybe if I turn to the side it will look better…” Click. “Ew, no that’s worse.”
Over and over and over.
42 photos. This was depressing. I couldn’t take a picture of myself and be happy with what I saw on the screen. How sad is that?
I hate my belly. There. I said it. I hate it. I hate how fleshy it is. I hate the stretch marks and loose skin. I hate it all.
But how did my belly get like that? Two 9 pound babies came from that belly. I’m a petite little thing, barely five feet tall in heels, so my belly had nowhere to go but out during pregnancy. And out it did. Stretching and stretching until all I could stand to do was sit and scratch my belly all day.
Pregnancy did a number on my body, but I did some damage on my own as well.
I want to love my belly. I want to embrace what motherhood has given me. But I’m not quite there yet, and I’m okay with admitting it. For now though, I need to put on a positive face. If not for me, then for my daughter.
“Ew, Mommy, look at your belly!” she says, echoing the same thoughts I have every time I’m shirtless and pass a mirror.
I take a deep breath. “What’s wrong with my belly?”
“It has lines on it.” She reaches a hand out carefully, like if she’s not careful, one of those lines will snatch her up. “Can I touch it?”
“Yes.”
She traces a slow line from my belly button to my side. “Does it tickle?”
“Yes.”
She smiles. “Good!” She proceeds to try to tickle me, as only 3-year-olds can, and I grab her and tickle her back. She laughs and laughs and laughs and I laugh with her.
One day, I will be there. I will accept my body as it is, “flaws” and all. I WILL be able to look at a picture and like what I see. One day.
Note: I was inspired to write this post after Barbara posted her photo at Notes to Emma and Akilah wrote a post over at Execumama. Head over and show them some love, too. If you want, you should post your photo on your blog and send me the link. Let’s keep this going!
Your tummy looks pretty tame compared to mine. My daughter however sees no wrong with it. She just turned 4 and when she sees my tummy she says, “Fat tummy” but she touches it and smiles and it’s okay. Besides, we always tickle baby’s fat tummy; maybe that’s why she thinks my tummy is SUPPOSED to be fat. LOL….
@Raya – When my kids were a little younger, they would lay on my belly and I actually felt happy to have that extra pudge ’cause it meant they were comfortable!
You look GREAT for having two babies!!!
This is very brave. Not a lot of women would be able to do this. You’re definitely inspiring a lot of women to accept their post-baby bodies. Good for you! (P.S. it doesn’t look as bad as you think. get you a Body Magic and you’re good)
Your belly looks fine! I actually think you look great for having two children, I don’t see any flesh barreling over your waist and past your vajayjay so that’s good
Perspective my lady, could always be worse LOL
Oh, you are brave! I seriously had a dream last night (almost a nightmare…) that some one made me show my stomach in public and I was trying to hide it with my hands. I don’t think I could ever take a picture of my baggy, loose skin while not pregnant (pregnant belly makes it beautiful again to me!), let alone post it on my blog.
But the fact is, most Moms do have tummies that show the mark of pregnancy and motherhood. I wish we lived in a society that celebrated it, rather than one that things is “gross” and we need to erase it with plastic surgery.
You mean we have the same belly?? I like to call my stretch marks the rays of the sun!! I have hated mine for so many years but I suppose it can be viewed as a mark left behind from the joyous babies you brought into this world. I know you would not trade them for the world or even for a smoother belly 😉 I am against plastic surgery but girl if I could ever afford to get those suckers lasered off…I might consider it! Until then, I embrace my beauty marks 😉 Kudos to you for posting the pic!!
Just as you are doing we should all own it as a badge of honor and pride and tell society to get a life….women have suffered too long under the expectation of the perfect (aka skinny) body. I think we’d be better off honoring motherhood and all the marks and bruises it takes to become and be a good one…after all where would we be without moms. We can change society by being proud of our tummies and everything else about us. In the end it is those things we value most about ourselves that give us power. It gets better as you grow older – by that I mean acceptance of our imperfections…..you’ll look back and see how amazing you are now and how amazing it is that you got up every day and worked to make a difference. One day you will see what I see – behind the tummy – power, humility, warmth, commitment, strength – –
Two 9 pound babies came outta there! Girl, your stomach looks GREAT! My daughter was just shy of 7 pounds and my stomach is far worse.
But see, thats us women for you. We are our own worst critics, especially when it comes to our bodies.
I hate my stomach, i hate looking at it, touching it, or even thinking about it. My daughter now jokes that after she eats, her stomach is now as big as mommys! not.funny. So, now i have re-committed to losing weight and firming up all that flab-a-dab down there…but what about those stretch marks…do you think it’s cheating to get a tummy tuck as a friend of mine did? I would never have plastic surgery, but the thought is enticing.
Thank you for keeping this going, Tara! I’m about to start an I LOVE MY BELLY campaign over at Execumama.com to keep this going. I cringed when I looked at my pictures too, and I stare at scarless bellies as if they’re chewy fudge brownies that i deserve to have. Thank you for sharing this with your readers, and showing your beautiful, baby-bringing belly!
It’s so hard, isn’t it? You want to love that belly, stretch marks and all, but sometimes you just can’t. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings!
I’m so proud of you Tara for being brave enough to share yourself, your MOMMY MARKS, with us and inviting other moms to do the same! I feel you on the 42 pictures. I do the same when trying to get “the best possible shot”, its a natural reaction when sharing a part of yourself that you either don’t like or are unsure about. But, let me be the first to say that you and your mommy marked up belly are beautiful, so embrace that, and remember it. Do you see how that “eww” from your daughter turned into laughter? For the both of you! Your stretch marks actually became a source of joy in that moment. Bravo to you again girl =).
You go girl (in my Martin voice :o)) I also HATE my belly but I hated it before I had my son and can’t find anything about it now that I love never the less like. I try to not dwell on it and find the things on me that I do love (hair, feet, legs etc)You look fantastic, and please keep up the good blogging :o)
Tara you are amazingly brave for choosing to show what most (if not all) women see everyday looking back at them in the mirror. The truth is even those without children look at something they wish they could get rid of and no matter what we do it’ll always be there. My body wasn’t perfect before I had kids, so it’s a little easier for me to accept the flabby, stretch marked belly. Reality is some days it’s easier to love this body and other days not so much, but all in all I’d do it again!!!
Your tummy looks just like mine and I only have one!!!! Like the last post said some days are better than others, but either way you look great!!!! Squishy mommy tummy and all!!!!
Some women wear their stretch marks like a badge of honor. Your body is amazing, look at the beautiful things it created – your children. I look at your belly and see love, a miracle, and hard work. Body image has a lot to do with your thoughts. If every time you look in the mirror you think how much you hate your body, you will hate your body. If every time you look in the mirror you focus in on what you love, you will love your body! So next time you look at your belly, think about the glory of being pregnant and smile. <3
Two NINE pounds of love… work it! Sometime I hate my belly too, but then when I think of all the things I do with my body, it makes me feel better. What a precious moment with you and your daughter — tickling and laughing and loving each other. Precious and priceless. I love it!
.-= Alicia @Mommy Delicious´s last blog ..Sometimes Saying No Means I Love You =-.
@Alicia – TWO nine pound babies. I make whoppers, what can I say?
I’m so afraid that it could happen in me for my second baby. I’m so scared when I saw video and review related on stretch marks that ruin my entire life.