I am in the midst of applying to grad school for a Master’s in Family Studies. Yes, this blog has helped me find my passion and that is the family dynamic. It fascinates me.
So back to school I go.
I’m excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because I’m one of those people who loves school. I love textbooks and pencils and notebooks and raising my hand in class. Everything. But nervous because now I have TWO kids, a full-time job, several freelance jobs, and a husband. I’m glad he’s there to pick up the slack but I really feel like I’m about to throw my family into a circus to fend for themselves.
I already struggle to keep a smile on my face when everything I’ve piled on my plate becomes too much for me to bare. I realized that I’m not happy unless I’m overwhelmed and man, do I wish that would change. How will grad school fit in to all this? I don’t know. I’m hoping I can get into some abbreviated program, because stretching this out over two or more years is not the business. Not at all.
My readers in school – help me out, please! How am I going to manage this? What are some suggestions? I’m not sure what the workload is like in graduate school – pray I can balance this all!
We read A LOT about time management and this is where the method will be put to good use. I’m in transition from just taking grad school courses to be a full time grad student, wife, mother, and working. Some days are better then others but the end will be worth it. Being a full-time grad student is like a full-time job in itself but you are able to do the work when you can…the best thing I’ve done is “scheduled” homework time and actually stuck to it. The hardest part is sticking to it though. So whether you schedule 1.5 hours a night or 4 hours 3 times a week you just have to stick to it!!! Good luck!!!
@Angie – Schedule homework time. Got it. I guess my main concern is the workload. Anything else I can handle. I’m ready for this. I think. LOL.
Oh, wow, Tara! Congratulations! Such a big step for you, and its great. My advice is (even though I don’t really always follow my own advice) don’t procrastinate. Plan everything out, make a calendar so that you know exactly when things are due and you can plan accordingly. I used a blank calendar, wrote down all my assignments, plus doctors appts, anything I had to do and I scheduled everything. That way you don’t forget about anything and you’re able to give everything the time it needs to be completed. Good luck!!
My hats off to you for wanting so much more. I wish you the best and the only way to know what to do or how to manage things is to JUST DO IT! I think life has a way of settling things naturally. I think you just have to keep a good balance and most importantly take care of your health. The rest will fall into place. Blessings…Shelly
Congrats! It is ALOT of work! I have to cosign on the scheduling of homework/study time. I hired a babysitter to entertain my daughter (this was before #2) while I stayed out of sight with my books. Schedule time with your kids and your husband too, if possible. It can be stressful, but it can be done! Good luck and God bless!
First of all Congrats! And second, you can do it but remember you are NOT Superwoman. I am in your same boat. For the past 2 years I have been a full time student, full time employee, founder of a non profit, girlfriend, and mother of one. The best thing to do is not procrastinate and stay on top of your assignment. Also, but a calendar to keep up with weekly events and class work. Also, make an agreement with your husband that you have a couple of hours our of certain days where he will keep an watchful eye on the kids and you can go to Starbucks or the library to complete assignment. My boyfriend and I have the same agreement and that one factor has been EXTRA helpful. Good luck with school! And like Shelly says JUST DO IT..the more time you spend worrying about what to do and when you won’t do it. Once you go back everything will start to fall into place.
Go Tara! I seriously admire your determination. I’ve just submitted my phd and have managed to get myself a well paid job with flex-hours. It’s happy days round our house now and it was totally worth the stress – and there was a lot of it ..see previous blogposts from moi! lol.
http://planningprayingplaying.blogspot.com/2010/04/academimum.html
I agree with all the comments made above. My addition would be, find time, even if only 5 minutes for yourself – EVERY single day. You will need it and that little patch of breathing space will make you more efficient when you do have to study/work. My second addition is – never forget that your kids and husband come first. It so easy to get caught up in it all that the actions dont always show the obvious – that they are no. 1! : )
Good luck!
I second all of the above advice!
The best advice I can give you is this — let it be okay to be a “mediocre” student. I’m like you, I love to study. I’m the brown-noser and sit in the front of the class kind of student. I make it a point to get to know all my professors because I enjoy it. With that being said, I finally had to come to the realization that I couldn’t be a A+ mom/wife and an A+ student at the same time. There’s just not enough of me to go around. I do what I need to do to pass the class and that’s gotta be enough, even if it pains me not to be the star student.
At the beginning of each semester, I put all of my assignments/homework/readings/work/internship/kids appts/vacations/everything on one calendar. I use google calendars for this, but outlook or something similiar would be good too and I share it with my husband, so he knows what to expect.
I do my homework when the kids sleep and I let my professors know up front what they’re dealing with — a mom with two small kids and I’ve been really impressed with the empathy I’ve received in times of sickness or crisis. I schedule student time with my husband (or my mom) for big projects or papers when needed.
I’m in a traditional master’s program at a state university and have to attend class on campus. I’d encourage you to find a program that is mostly online, it really would make things a lot easier.
Good for you and best of luck!
My friends and family continue to remind me that it’s good that I’m doing this while my kids are young, that way they won’t remember it.
Congrats on your plans to return to school. As long as you’re mentally prepared, then you should do fine. The only advice that I could give is to make it work if obtaining your Master’s is what you really want to do. Too many women use their kids, their job, etc. as an excuse because they don’t really WANT to do it.
I take care of TWO small children, a 4 and 1 year old, on my own. I attend school full time where I am a Computer Science major and I typically work about 45 hours a week. If I can make it work considering my schedule, it’s possible for you. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and I just recently looked back and realized how far I had gotten. There were many nights where I cried myself to sleep because of stress, because of lack of energy, etc. However, I have very strong faith in God. And you know what, my faith was so true AND so strong, I always woke up ready to take on the day. I’m determined to finish college. In August, I’ll be a senior. I don’t care HOW long it takes, I will graduate.
So, as previously mentioned, make it work if it’s something that you want. You have a little more than I do–you have someone to pick up the slack if there is ever any. He seems like a very caring, supportive, and compassionate guy so I don’t doubt that he wouldn’t help you in any way that you need and encourage you to pursue this. Sit down and mentally prepare yourself. It’s going to take some dedication and sacrifice, but nevertheless, as a woman, you’re designed to endure and persevere.
I recently started a new blog and just wrote a blog today about the balancing act of working mothers (particularly in New York) so it’s funny that I stumble upon your blog today!
Although I’m not married with kids, I’m the same way–I take on so many tasks, and even though I complain about the stress, I know that I’m most fulfilled when I’m overwhelmed. Although it might be a tough task to balance it all, you only live one life, so as long as you are happy and feel that your family is too, don’t have any regrets about taking it all on!
CONGRATS on your decision because that’s a major decision to make. You can make it work as long as you – as mentioned above – have good time management skills and patience. However, the school has to be right for you. I made a decision to trade reputation convenience. I just received my MBA (will be walking in June) and during the past two years I’ve been a mother of two, had another baby, all while being a wife and working full-time. Granted it is a little easier when you have a hubby BUT it’s still doable without one! What matters is that you find a program that suits your needs as a working wife and mother. It’s nice to be in a reputable program but if you can find a program that still places their graduates within the field of their choice and offers many valuable resources (such as graduate mentors, career-focused seminars, etc.) then that can out-weigh a good reputation. What matters is that once you obtain that degree, that you make it work for you and not expect it to just stand on it’s own. What helps is to join associations and groups that can help with networking and career advancement. Of course this shouldn’t come until you are close to completion. Good luck to you and all your future endeavors!
I am just finishing up by BA in history at UCI with my two kids (currently 22 months and 8 months). I have stayed in school through marriage and both pregnancies. There are lots of resources out there on various campuses for student parents. Take a look into what the university is offering you besides just classes. I could not have been able to do all this without the free child care for when my husband was working, my supportive husband for when I was working (both jobs and school work), or the other supportive families living around me going through the same tough issues and struggles (subsidized family housing big plus). Just keep yourself organized. Most of your work will not be in a classroom after the first year or so and that makes life easier because you can plan around your family schedule. Pick class times that work for you. Get to know your professors they are a big help. Be proactive, if you have a free night look a head and start working on up coming assignments. And its ok if you end up staying up late to finish a paper (we are moms we know all about being up in the middle of the night).