Got my letters of recommendation handy, my $30 application fee, and my written statement so I’m all ready to apply to graduate school.
Starting in the fall, I will be in class two nights a week, getting home anywhere between 8 and 9:30, after working a full day at work. Then I’ll have assignments and reading to do, plus the upkeep of this blog and all it entails. Oh, and did I mention I’m also a freelance writer and guest blogger on a couple different blogs?
Yeah, I’m gonna need help.
And I’m FINALLY at the point where I can accept that fact. Before, I would have just driven myself crazy trying to make sure that the fridge stayed stocked, the clothes were always clean, dinner was hot and ready to go at 5:30 and I was still available to be the super nice, sexy wife I used to be for about three months in 2007.
Not this time. This time I’m sitting down and coming up with a list of things I can do to make my life easier. And heck, isn’t that what we all want? I was inspired by my buddy Akilah and the wisdom she spits in her book and to anyone who’ll listen. She always knows what to say to any mom who feels like she’s on the ledge.
So I’ve been thinking. What’s my priority? If I have some free time, how do I absolutely need to be spending it? For the next two years, it’s going to be family + school. Period.
So here’s my list. In true Execumama-style, I challenge you to write your own list, of things you are currently doing but need to quit. These are things that are not adding to your life, but rather, draining energy you could be using to do something more enjoyable, like, say, SLEEP!
1) Quit relying solely on relatives to watch the kids. I’m getting a babysitter. I know I’m fortunate to have parents who love to have their grandbabies over for the entire weekend, but they can’t drop everything for me every time I need a break. Shoot, grandma needs to have a life too! My mom was a young mom and I sometimes I feel like I’m getting in the way of her finally enjoying her empty nest. I’m getting a good babysitter and she will become my best buddy as I try to get this degree.
2) I’m going to finally, once and for all, accept the fact that my house will not look like two adults live here, but that this is a home of a family of four. And the two littlest ones are toddlers. They make messes. I won’t freak out.
3) I’m going to buy a planner and I am going to put my life in that thing. I will schedule study time, and relaxation time, and cooking time and playtime with the kids. If I gotta do it, it’s going in there. I don’t need to be thinking about what’s next. I will simply look down and say, “Why, yes, I do have to go grocery shopping today.”
4) Work on more projects that pay me actual MOOLA! Some projects are near and dear to my future goals, so those will stay, but these other gigs that are just “nice to do” but don’t put any money in my pocket so I can actually afford the aforementioned babysitter? They have to get cut back, or eliminated completely.
5) More guest posts. I love this blog with all my heart, so I do not want it to suffer as I’m drowning in a sea of homework. So – I have some plans to feature more moms, to have YOU all give your two cents about whatever is going on in your life, and give you a place where people can applaud all that you do. How does that sound? Good, right?
Now it’s your turn. Give me one thing that you can do that will make your life easier – starting today. Don’t be shy – let me hear you!
TARA awesome start …. I had to make my list a 3 years ago when I got pregnant and let me tell you it helped because I now have my Masters’ degree and a beautiful little girl …..
I use to cook a weeks worth of meals on Sunday and fridge/freeze them to make dinner easier for the week and also the crock pot became my best friend because you can start them when you leave for work and 8 to 10 hours later when you, your husband or the babysitter comes in you can shut it off and dinner is done!
I would love to go back to school for the new year to start my work and thesis for my doctorates and so I am going to have to find a weekend and overnight babysitter besides family and my current daytime provider. I also would like to increase my AVON business so that maybe I can cut back a couple hours from my 8 to 5.
I have a list just like yours of things I need to do and let go of. What struck me most about your post today, is that I am going through the same exact things. I am a wife and mother of three boys. I also have a full time career, I also am a homeowner(with a house that always needs cleaning), and I am also a full time student in Grad School!!! WOW! I really need to hire a babysitter as well,I just don’t know where to begin to find one, I have relied heavily on my parents and my husband’s mom to watch my babies, even missing important events because they were too busy. I also feel that with all of my life’s pressures, I am not spending quality time with my kids, (without feeling rushed)… I have 1.5 semesters left of school, my husband works 4 nights out of the week (plus his full time postal job). I am really having a rough time now, and need extra help (which I probably can’t afford)…But all in all it’s good to know there is someone else going through a similar situation.
Great list, Tara! You’re off to an awesome start, I think. The planner will be invaluable to you and you’re success. I swear by planners, seriously. I’d never accomplish anything without one. And if you can afford a babysitter, awesome. I always feel SO guilty asking my mom and grandma to watch my son while I’m in class or studying. And guest posts here sound awesome!!
You ended up writing it! You beat me lol. Hmm, one thing that could make my life easier? Hmm, thats a hard one. I would have to say to take 20 minutes each day to just go for a walk. It’s challenging sometimes to be with yourself and your thoughts, but I its necessary for me. I have a ridiculously busy schedule and I’m always on the go, so being able to be with just me for a little while will I hope help me relax a bit…lets see if it works!
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Is the family doomed? =-.
I’d love to hear how you plan on finding a good baby-sitter for your kids. I have a great home day care but have yet to trust any teenager or young adult with my son. I know I need to let go a bit. Heck, I baby-sat every weekend from the time I was about 14 or 15. Hubby and I would like to be able to go out more on the weekends and like you, need to stop relying on grandma for the times when we need to get away!
@Elita – I’m actually planning on stealing one of my friend’s babysitters a few times a month.
Plus, we plan on doing “late dates” where we don’t leave until the kids are in bed. My little ones go to bed around 7:30, 8, so I figure that’s fine. All the babysitter has to do is listen for any noises and be there in case they need something. I figure it’s a win-win!
Love your Blog Post about asking for help! Good for you! I would be delighted to send a copy of my book Help Is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All Is Doing You In. I know it will give you lots of insight
about the problem of not being able to ask – I call it The Self-Sufficiency Syndrome.
Congrats on taking on this new challenge!
Great post! x I wish I had read this two years ago! I can totally relate to all your comments – esp. like the acceptance that kids live in the house too!!! : )
x
.-= Mrs O´s last blog ..Wedding Invitations, First Impressions and DIY =-.
You Go GIRLLLLLLLLLLL!!! I have to make my list! Making a LIST is currently on my To Do LIST!!!!
#1 Write down those things that will be beneficial to my life. Once it’s written, follow it.
#2 Find a babysitter. This will help me to stop losing my mind. I had one last summer who was AWESOME!!!
#3 Find an extra gig to supplement my income.
Thanks for asking Tara you’ve got my thinking. What’s the best way to get the “Pocketguide?”
This is amazing! I’m so happy you figured this out… BEFORE going to grad school. I just finished my first year at Columbia grad school and I learned everything you mentioned on this post the HARD way. It wasn’t until half-way through my spring semester (I was taking five classes) when I felt like I was going to collapse that I realized… I NEED HELP! Duh! Such a simple concept, but so hard to accept. I need help. Kuddos to you for planning ahead!
.-= Alicia ´s last blog ..Potty Training Mishaps =-.
w00t! congrats and many blessings on your post secondary graduate school endevors! srry ive been out of the loop but still peeking in now and then :oP
.-= Erykah´s last blog ..My Tool Box =-.
Hey there! I understand this is somewhat off-topic however I had to ask. Does running a well-established blog such as yours require a large amount of work? I am brand new to blogging but I do write in my journal every day. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my own experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!