At my daughter’s first birthday party, someone asked me when I was planning on having another kid.
“Ayanna’s getting bigger,” they teased. “You’re gonna want another one.”
I shot them a look – surely they must be joking. I was JUST beginning to feel like life was “normal” again – my daughter was sleeping well, I was working part-time and loving it, and I was free of those new mommy hormones.
“Pffft,” I said, waving my hand. “I don’t plan on having any more kids for a WHILE.”
Little did I know that I was already pregnant when I said that. Say it with me: “What the HELL?”
I was not prepared for this pregnancy, maybe even less than I was for the first one. (Check out my post, “9 Things I Wish I Did Before I Had My Second Kid.“) But I was determined to make this work.
Let me tell you – those first few months were ROUGH. My daughter wasn’t potty trained yet, so I had two kids under two in diapers. And I thought I would lose my mind. I wrote this post back in December 2008, when my son was almost five months old.
These days, I spend most of my time with two kids and a husband. One kid is usually guaranteed to be either beginning or ending a tantrum. And when one quits, the other picks it up. They’re like a mini-Olympic crying relay team. Quite a team, those two. Hard to believe they’ve only been at it for four months.
The problem with having two kids under two is that they are both equally demanding. Both still need you to wipe their butts, feed them dinner, and entertain them when they get bored. This problem is multiplied by the fact that neither one cares that the other one has needs too. My 2-year-old could care less that three hours have passed since her baby brother has last eaten, and my baby boy doesn’t quite understand that his big sis hasn’t quite mastered this whole potty business, and therefore needs me to attend to her diaper.
How do I manage? By keeping things in perspective. I think about this: Even if today is a really bad day, there is always tomorrow. If tomorrow is bad too, then maybe you’re just having a bad week. A bad week here or there in the larger scheme of things isn’t too bad.
*deep sigh* Yeah, I remember those days. Now, baby girl is potty trained so that’s a relief. But I still have days where I question my sanity. They are still loud and still a top-notch relay team but now they play together. And they leave me alone entertain each other when I need a moment to scream breathe. What more can you ask for?
All moms of two (or more) kids – what would you tell a mom of one who is nervous about making the jump?
Great post. Hubby and I have been considering the thought of baby #2. I’m curious to see what other moms have to say.
.-= Tricia´s last blog ..Sex And The City II…. =-.
Making the jump from one to two was not a planned experience for us. My oldest daughter has health issues and I was not studying about having any more kids – even had a Nuva ring (p.s. do not use this). But God had another plan and WOO HOO daughter number two is on the scene. My daughters are only 18 months apart, and my oldest is developmentally delayed, so everyone was in diapers together. And screaming together, throwing food together, making mommy crazy together…
To a woman thinking about making the jump I would say that you get to experience your heart double in size. You have no idea that you can love another baby as completely and totally as your first, but you do. During the (4 seconds) time they are both asleep, I marvel at how fortunate I am to have these incredible people in my life. Logistics can always be worked out. They are only tiny for a minute.
Thanks so much Tara for writing this here post for me, you’re actually the nicest person! : )
Tricia – we should totally chat about this! lol
Cheryl, thanks so much for your comment. Strangely, I’m not worried about the love thing, I can imagine the love doubling but what I am scared is the logistics: simple things like, will baby no.1 run into the street as I try to sort out no2. Will baby no.1 feel rejected when I have to feed baby no.2 – I guess these are minor issues, but just needed an experienced Mum to say what you did – “logistics can always be worked on”. Thank you so so much!
I’m glad you wrote this post, Tara. I’m curious to see what all the experienced 2 time around (or more) moms have to say.
Great post. I have thought about this a lot and I have friends who are making the plunge. Going from 1 to 2 is not double the work- its triple! I would tell my best girlfriend to just go with the flow. Do not make plans, do not entertain friends/family unless they can deal with the mess, do not commit to volunteering. Just be available for the family because as you mentioned having two requires you to use every fiber of your being!
Such a great post, and right on time, as we prepare for Baby #2’s arrival in just 2 months. The boys will be 19 months apart, so I expect a very rocky transition…… and just hoping everything falls into place as we all get accustomed to the changes a new baby brings.
.-= Yakini´s last blog ..My "American Baby" Makeover =-.
Girl, enjoy it beause when they get older they aren’t going to want to be bothered with you. They’ll entertain themselves. You’ll only have to feed them and chauffer them.
We’ll be having baby number 4 in two months and everyone told me the transition from two to three was awful. Maybe I got lucky or something, but I didn’t think it was all that bad. You’re definitely busier, but it’s not “harder.” And the older kids definitely help take care of the younger ones. It’s a great jump, in my personal experience.
I had twins at 23. single mother. first year was the best. definitely the easiest. it’s not as bad as it looks. everyone used to tell me that I made having twins look so easy! they will be 13 tomorrow. they have each other. it’s not the end of the world. the day i had them the doctor told me that i’m most likely to have another set of twins. they are the only ones so far. just think, when they are older, they will be closer.