Because my first pregnancy was way out of left field, I decided I wanted to know the sex of the baby and no one was going to get in my way.
“Do you want to know the sex?” the ultrasound tech asked me.
I laid on the table, shirt hiked up. “I think it’s a girl,” I said confidently.
The tech paused for a moment and waved the wand over my belly. “It’s a girl,” she said, surprised. “Looks like you know your baby girl already.”
I smiled. Of course I knew this baby – I was her mother. That mother-daughter bond? No one could ever break it. I had visions of a little Mini-Me twirling in my head, complete with matching outfits and mannerisms.
When she came out, she was her daddy’s twin in terms of looks, but she was my clone in every other respect. She was fussy and uptight, just like her mama and when she wasn’t happy, she let you know about it. Quickly.
I loved her so much I was a little (okay, very) upset when I found out I was pregnant with her younger sibling shortly after her first birthday. How is this going to change her life? She’s still a baby!
With our second baby I was hoping, hoping, praying for another little girl because I was used to having a little Mini-Me around and what could be better than one Mini-Me, but two?
As I lay there in the hospital and the doctor pulled the little one out, I hear him say over the baby’s cries, “It’s a boy!”
A boy? I thought to myself. There’s no way. I wanted two girls. What am I going to do with a boy? I know absolutely nothing about boys, other than they pee standing up.
As the weeks went on, I struggled to find that connection with my son. I was ashamed. I loved him more than I could express, but by the simple fact that he had a penis and I didn’t, it just made us seem so different. I had a hard time getting over that hump.
Now my baby boy is turning two and I’m loving every minute. He’s a boy. A real boy. A jump-on-the-couch-didn’t-I-ask-you-to-sit-down-aww-you’re-giving-me-more-kisses? little boy. He’s silly and he’s cute and he’s full of personality.
I recongize that I have a different relationship with my daughter than I do with my son. Even at this young age, my daughter wants to be me. She does the things I do, she wears my shoes, she treats her brother like he’s her son. My son just wants to be loved. He gives me kisses and hugs and squeezes my knees every time I come close.
It’s different, but I like it and I try my best to treat them equally. I feel lucky to have one of each, to get the best of both worlds, to experience life through my son’s eyes and empathize with my daughter’s female problems.
Do you have boys and girls? Do you find yourself gravitating toward one or the other? For the moms with only one gender, do you ever think of how life would be with the opposite gender?
I can relate. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a mini-me, even if she does look more like her Daddy! I would love to have son though, but fear I wouldn’t know what to do with him. I’m hoping that’s where Daddy comes into his own! : )
.-= Mrs O´s last blog ..First comes wedding- then comes marriage =-.
Ok, I’ll admit it – I’ve always wanted a little girl. I had her name picked out way before I ever conceived a child. The day I found out I was pregnant, I started calling the baby “Ellie” (full name Elizabeth – Ellie for short). At 22 weeks, my fiancee-at-the-time and I were sitting in the ultrasound room waiting anxiously to find out officially what our little baby was. And I was shocked that the little girl I was sure I was carrying was in fact a little boy. And I’ll admit it – I was a little disappointed. Then I started to feel a little weird – there was a boy living in ME. For some reason, that really sounded weird to me, and it made me feel weird. But I quickly got over it, got excited, and started shopping for little boy clothes and blankets right away, and its a good thing too, because 2 weeks later he was born.
We have such a close and special relationship now. We are each other’s whole world, and I couldn’t even imagine having a child other than him. He is the perfect little blessing to have entered my life.
I have two daughters… And JESUS!!! The first one looks JUST like me, second one looks JUST like her daddy… And I swear I wish I had boys. Boys just seem like they are easier to raise. Maybe because I have “older” girls (age 13 and 8) I am saying this. After the age of 8’ish or so things get real complicated. The mother/daughter bond with both is wonderful, but the raising…. wooo chile…
Funny, I felt the same way this third time around. I wanted a third girl. When I was told it was a boy I cried, sobbed to be exact. Funny how he has fit into our lives so perfectly and has made me a much more laid back person. Boys are such fun and it is nice not having to do hair!! haha Happy Birthday to your little man. Two is a fun age
.-= Sheliza´s last blog ..Let me tell you about your boy =-.
I can understand your sentiment! I swore I was having a girl but it turns out there is a little boy in my belly. I feel like a bad soon to be mom cause I really wanted a girl. Like you have have NO idea what to do w/ a boy..I’m such a girly girl! But I am hoping to adjust. I hear boys are easier so I’m going with that! I do hope that someday I get my little girl!
.-= Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..Dear Pooh Bear- 20 Weeks and Half Way There! =-.
I wonder about what it would be like to have a daughter, my son is almost three so sometimes I want him to have a brother so he’s not lonely…I wonder at the idea of a girl they are just as sweet as boys but definitely different I would hope she wouldn’t steal all my shine from my husband lol.
My son is four, and my daughter is two. When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted a girl so badly. I found out early in my pregnancy that the baby was a boy, and I hate to admit it, but I was dissapointed. When I was pregnant with my second baby, I was super excited to know the baby was a girl.
I love both of my kids equally, but I must admit that I LOVE doing girly stuff with Mya that Michael can’t do (or does not like), like hair-time, looking through shoe catalogs, purse shopping, ballet, being quiet and peaceful for hours on end (lol), hugging.
At one point in time, my son and I were attached, but he is now at the stage where he wants to be my husband’s carbon copy (a loud, wrestling, jokester, car-loving, talkative, football junkie).
I’m the opposite. I had my son first and we had a very strong connection from the start. When I found out I was pregnantthe second time I was nervous because I didn’t think I could love another child as much as him.I also really wanted a boy. Boy was I wrong. I have a little girl now and I’m obsessed with her!! I do feel a closer bond with her, but I love my son just as much.
hmmmmm, i have 2 girls and 1 boy. first up was my mini me and she just rocked my world with her sweetness. so like you, i was like-yeah…if i have more they need to be a girl. so naturally i freaked when i heard i was having twins because now i needed TWO more girls. well, needless to say, when i heard one was a boy…I CRIED!!! big crocodile tears!!!! i was a mess. mainly because of the general concensus of not knowing what to do with a boy, then by him being outnumbered by all of us girls. i stay at home so its 3 to 1 every day. needless to say, hes the sweetest little chubby thing ever. hes even sweeter than his twin sister who is sassy and independent and thinks she can hang with her big sister…either way, i look at them all the same even tho only 2 seem to be stuck to me. that girl twin has been here before, LOL!
@Pink Lady – So glad I’m not the only one who cried when hearing she was having a boy. But you know what? My son is just what the doctor ordered because he really opens my eyes to the male perspective and challenges me to see things through that lens. It’s an awesome thing