When I started this Co-parenting Week here on YML.com, I had a few posts I knew I wanted to do for sure. But I made some adjustments when I got this question from a reader. That’s what this blog is about, right? Helping each other out and giving advice to help us live our best lives!
April asks:
I was wondering if you could give some advice on what me and my friends like to call the 3rd Party movement. The 3rd Party is a new girlfriend, boyfriend, or in my case grandmother. Who suddenly serves as the intermediate between the mother and father. I have tried to explain to my daughter’s father than we should be able to work out money, scheduling, and various issues on our own. Especially since neither one of us has been disrespectful towards one another. However, since our official breakup all questions regarding daycare, money, and overnight stays are now being directed to or from his mother. It’s very frustrating and I don’t understand why the father cannot speak up on their own or why a parent would want to get in the middle of their child’s parenting issues.
Can anyone give April some advice? What do you do when you can’t communicate directly with your child’s father? Is there a way to make this arrangement work?
I would let my the grandmother know that I am unappreciative of her getting involved in your parenting issues. Let her know that it was you and her som that had the child and it will be you and her son that discuss whatever issues you may have with that child.Do so in a respectful matter and hopefully she will understand and not be so intrusive.
I would pray for the both of them, it sort of seems like the father is acting very immature- letting his mother speak for him. After you pray about this situation, make sure that you speak to him very respectfully, because sometimes it can become an argument, and thats definetly something you want to avoid. Or else He wont ever want to communicate with you, dont even let him start an argument with you. When you do talk to him, stay on one topic, to make sure that everything is understood!