When I was about seven months pregnant, I was in my first semester of my senior year at college. One day, I waddled up to the front of the class to ask the professor something. He (remember that, HE) asked me how the pregnancy was going and how much time I had left.
“Um, about two months,” I said. “I wish the baby would hurry up and get here!”
He smiled. “Well, enjoy your time now. It’s a lot easier to do what you want to do being pregnant versus what happens when the baby’s out in the world.”
I wanted to punch him. STUPID MEN. Why don’t they take over being pregnant and birthing babies and then I’d like him to tell me how freakin’ easy it is carrying around a bowling ball in their belly.
Since being laid off and transitioning to a work-at-home mom, all I can say is he is right.
I’ve been “lucky” in that my kids have been in daycare most of their lives. That meant that Monday-Friday they had someplace to go so my husband and I could do the things we needed to do. Let’s not even get into the cost of daycare, or the fact that I was working full-time just to be able to afford it. Let’s just focus on the fact that it’s reliable.
A couple of times this semester my husband had a work event that conflicted with my class schedule. So it was either 1) I didn’t go to class and watched the kids at home 2) my husband didn’t go to his work event and he watched the kids at home 3) I take the kids to class with me or 4) he takes the kids to his work event.
I don’t know about you, but #3 or #4 do not sound even remotely appealing when you’re talking about a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old (who does not have an inside voice – like, not even close). This is where a babysitter would come in handy.
But we don’t have one. We’ve never had one. Only family and very, very close friends have ever watched the kids. But people have their own lives and can’t drop everything when we need someone to cover our butts. We need someone on the payroll, with some extra incentive to show up.
Now they’re not in daycare and I have to get a babysitter if I want to leave my house. Let’s say this again. I have to PAY someone to come OVER to my house (which I also pay to live in) and I have to PAY them to stay there so I can go out.
Damn. Why didn’t anyone tell me?!
All I could think was ‘yes gurl, seriously…’ lol. I have a 14 month old and who knew you’d have to plan to do EVERY.THING. You have to plan to go grocery shopping. Plan to take a shower, plan to just get up and go! Sheesh.. Thankfully my son is in daycare, but after 5pm and on weekends I wish I had a nanny, lol
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My daughter is in in daycare now but when she wasn’t it was really hard to get anyone to babysit her. Even when my mom visited and wasn’t going anywhere that day, she still didn’t want to do it. I either had to take Amani with me or just not go.I am completely thankful for daycare, especially since I don’t pay for it but welfare does.phew!!!
Omg yes, child care (paying for it) is the BANE of our existence!!! It is so much freaking money!!!!
This is the only thing I am panicked about with moving away from my parents… the fact that we (hubz&I) may never be able to go out together much… madness.
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Sigh. I hear you!!! It’d be SO NICE to have a babysitter “on-call”. I suppose I *kind of* do. We have my BIL and his wife, they have a baby too. If I let them know in advance, they are able to watch my son if my husband and I want to get out on a date night. HOWEVER; it has to be at their house (since their babes is younger) so N has to go over there (which he doesn’t mind), do his night time routine there and go to bed for a bit. When we’re done date night, we have to wake the poor love up.
Needless to say; we don’t do date night (outside the house) often. Also; if something comes up, we’re hard pressed to find someone to watch him. It’d be SO nice to find a sitter that could come to our house, but I have a really hard time trusting just anybody with our baby!!!
.-= jess; [the bottle chronicles]´s last blog ..Cause he’s awesome =-.
I totally Understand this post first hand. I have 4 kids. With the older 3, they all were in daycare & I was able to shop for the house after work before I picked them up…I loved it. When my daughter was born, it was to expensive to allow her to attend daycare. I also had to decide to be a stay-at-home mom. I sometime have to miss my own doctors appointments because I have no one to keep my daughter. It is really a catch 22…lol
I definitely understand what you are saying. I have a tutoring business, and for the most part my clients come to my office. I have spoiled a few with going to their homes, but now my husband isn’t home early enough. I told them that they would have to come to the office because it is hard to find a reliable babysitter. They would rather me bring the girls with me rather than go out so my daughters go with me to a few in home sessions. I am fine with taking them because they learn so much about all types of people and how to behave in specific situations.
Yes, Tara. Daycare, preschool, baby sitters are soooo expensive. You are right — you DO need a full-time job just to pay for it. Since I’ve been in grad school, I cringe at the beginning of the semester when I’m registering and see that I HAVE to take a class in the evening (where I would have to get a sitter) instead of in the afternoon (where I could make it to his preschool by the 6:30 pick-up if I rush). It’s insane! Sigh.
PS: not that it looks bad or anything, but where’s the pink background?
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Aww, sis… I’m so sorry.
We’re in a similar position in that we’ve never had a paid babysitter. Only family has watched our kid when we needed it. We have our girl in day care, but at 6pm she kicks them kids out. She does NOT do overtime, which I understand. Just remember that one day they’ll be old enough for you to leave them at home by themselves. LOL
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Do I ever know what you mean? The only thing I can say is that they do get older. My youngest is 9 now. We still need childcare for her but luckily my in-laws and sister in law are there for us. Couldn’t imagine having to PAY all the time. Hope everything gets better
We’re in the situation where we don’t live near any family. Our son is in daycare and we’ve only had one person babysit him. One of his daycare providers. We don’t go out often because we don’t want to burn her out (she does it for free) and we haven’t been able to find any other babysitter. Case in point, we were supposed to go out tonight but the search didn’t pan out. It sucks trying to find someone just so you can enjoy a few hours out with your spouse.
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We do not live near family either and we just started to trust our neighbors to watch them for a couple of hours but she has 4 boys of her own and I hate bothering people with my kids. We just put the kids to bed early and watch a movie or have a late night dinner. If we have to go somewhere that kids can’t go to my hubby takes off (I am a stay at home mom) we can’t afford it but things have to be done when no family is around.
Remarkable issues here. I’m very happy to see your
article. Thanks a lot and I am looking ahead to touch you.
Will you please drop me a mail?