by Katie Gartman
Two months before my 18th birthday, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test.
My reaction was probably much different from most: I was excited. I had always wanted to be a mother and I saw my pregnancy as a wonderful gift. I couldn’t wait to start this new journey. It didn’t even occur to me that things could go horribly wrong.
My son was born at only 24 weeks, 3 days gestation, weighing 1 pound 8 ounces. He was immediately taken from me and rushed to a different hospital that had a Level III NICU. He stayed there for the next four months.
I can’t even begin to explain to you how horrible it was to have my child ripped away from me and taken to a different hospital, without me. Or how horrible it was to walk out of the heavy double doors of the NICU several times a day without my son.
Or how terrible it was to walk my son to the operating room door when he was only 2 months old, kiss his tiny head, and walk myself down the hall where I sat alone, waiting for the surgeon’s report. But you know what? I DID IT.
As an eighteen year old girl with no supportive partner, I spent almost all of my time next to my son’s incubator in the NICU, learning and growing with him. I learned all about the machines he was hooked up to, the medicines he was given, and I learned how to care for all of his special needs. I even learned how to insert a feeding tube through his nose into his stomach.
I did everything I possibly could to make sure I knew everything about my son and his condition, and how to take care of him. I wasn’t met with complete support along the way, either. After months of being in the NICU constantly, the doctors didn’t want to release my son to me. They never said it in so many words, but I was just an 18-year-old girl with no partner, how could I actually take care of a baby with so many health problems? I had to fight to bring my son home.
Four years later, my little boy is stronger than ever. He’s done so much better than the doctors predicted. Sure, he still has some lingering health issues and developmental problems, but he is a happy, mostly healthy little boy who is full of energy.
Because I was a young mom, the doctors didn’t think I could take care of my son. They didn’t think I could get him to every specialist appointment, or to therapy 3-4 times a week. But I did.
Just because we are young moms doesn’t mean we don’t do what is best for our children. Age is not the determining factor of how we care for our children, and people need to understand that.
So, if you ever find yourself in my situation, with medical professionals beating you down and saying you can’t handle it, don’t be afraid to fight for what you know is right. I did it, and you can too.
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like less of a mother just because you haven’t hit the magic number they feel is appropriate to have children. We are young moms, we are wonderful moms, and no one is going to tell us different.
Great post! I think often times when we get pregnant, no one thinks about what could go wrong. Almost 6 years and 3 kids later, childbirth is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced!
My first two kids were premature and were unable to be in the room with me after delivery. Talk about sad…no one prepares you sit in a hospital room, ALONE after you give birth!
You seem to be doing a good job so far, keep up the good work! I know first hand how difficult it is to go to all the specialists and appointments, but what can you do? Nothing other than be strong for you and your child, b/c that’s what mom’s do!
.-= Erica´s last blog ..I know I’m late but- from now on- I’m posting every day in 2011! =-.
Erica – Thanks! You are so right, most of the time no one ever thinks about what can go wrong. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I was pregnant I just expected that I would get a healthy baby at the end of the journey. It didn’t even occur to me that anything could go wrong.
I’m sorry to hear about the prematurity of your first two children. Its such a scary experience, and you feel so helpless and alone. Childbirth and the aftermath were definitely the most terrifying experiences of my life.
It is difficult going though all the specialist appointments and therapies, and there was a time when I felt like I was drowning in appointments. But I quickly got a handle on things, and then I was treading water. Now I command it all, and I’ve adapted and it doesn’t slow me down at all. I’ve learned how to deal with all the professionals and how to incorporate theraputic techniques into our every day routine, and my son is so much better for all of that.
You are right, no matter how difficult things are for us to deal with, we just have to be strong for our kids and do what needs to be done, because that is just what we do. Thank you for sharing your story with me!
And thanks for sharing yours!! You’ve inspired me..I’m about to write a blog about this subject right now lol
.-= Erica´s last blog ..I know I’m late but- from now on- I’m posting every day in 2011! =-.
I look forward to reading your blog!! I’ll head over and check it out
Amazing post! My son was born early, but not that early..he was born at exactly 37 weeks. He went to NICU for fluid on the lungs (so again, nothing major) but it was still scary having him taken away from me
You are doing a great job! Thanks for sharing your story. I think its definitely one that needs to be heard!
Jess – Thanks! You know, I truly feel that no matter how major or minor the problem is, no matter if you spend 1 day in the NICU or 10 months in the NICU, it is still the same terrible, horrifying, helpless experience. Nothing can really prepare us, as mothers, for that. And no one can truly understand unless they have been there. I’m sorry to hear that your son had problems after his birth. I hope he is doing well now. Thank you for sharing your story with me!
If there is one thing you have proven to me Katie, it’s that there are no limits to the power of a mother. You have faced one challenge after another, for the most part alone. Not only have you gotten through each one, but have surpassed anyone’s expectations. You are the strongest person I know. You inspire me every single day.
Your little boy seems to have inherited many of your best traits. He is a fighter, and the two of you have overcome every obstacle thrown your way. He is fantastic, and the two of you are an incredible team.
Amen! Katie… you are amazing. Your strength is inspiring. Whew! This post gave me shivers. Amazing. No other words except amazing.
.-= Alicia @Mommy Delicious´s last blog ..Weekend Reads =-.
Katie, you and Matthew are both truly awesome! Matthew is without a doubt one of God’s greatest miracles and you have been “one” with Matthew since he was conceived. It is rare to see such courage and determination in a woman so young as you were when Matthew was born, but it was there, and it has grown and multiplied steadily for 4 years. You are a magnificent testament to the concept of Mother’s Love, commitment, bravery, courage, especially in the face of the almost unbearable medical situations that Matthew experienced daily in his first months of life. I know how alone you were in those early days, even though your family was completely supportive of you, but Matthew’s little heart and your heart always beat as one, and we could only stand by and pray. I have never been so proud of anyone in my entire life as I am of you, Katie. Matthew is the luckiest little boy in the world, to have such a wonderfully loving and committed Mother as you are. You have overcome so many adversities…your posts will continue to be an encouragement to young mothers everywhere who find themselves in difficult situations. You found the strength to continue on, and they can take strength from you. Continue to be an example of strength and perseverance for those who are facing any type of difficult situation. God bless you and Matthew always.