It has been two months exactly since I was laid off. It still feels like yesterday. On Sunday nights, I still get that “Gotta go to work in the morning” feeling. Every morning I wake up and turn to grab my work clothes.
Then I remember. I have no where to go. I stay here.
Right now, I am the work-at-home mama of two. Both kids are home with me all day every day. In between breakfast, snack time, and potty training, I manage the needs of my growing list of social media and freelance writing clients. Luckily, most of my work can be handled by e-mail with the occasional naptime phone call.
Right now, I’m making mortgage money, something I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to do once the hammer came down back in November.
Somehow I’m making it work. Is it hard? Hell yes. I work all the time now. Evenings, weekends, middle of the day, 1 a.m. – I’m usually up, typing away, doing research, editing, scheduling social media updates.
But I’m my own boss. I get to spend all day with my kids. I’m pocketing the $1,100 per month we were spending on daycare. I get to save the two hours a day I was spending in the car driving to and from work.
Life is good.
I’ve concluded, definitively, that this was the best thing to happen to me. The best. Even though I didn’t think so at the time.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflection over the past couple days and of course, I’ve come up with some lessons. Feel free to think I’m talking directly to you. Because I am:
1) Self-care needs to be higher on your list. Spending all day at home has allowed me to slow down and take stock of my life. My nails (hands and feet) are always in a “Ugh, I need to get a mani/pedi” mode. I don’t get a chance to do my hair nearly often enough, and my wardrobe is blahsy, blah, blah. I eat too much of the wrong foods and I don’t hardly drink enough water. But now? I’m working out 4x per week, and I keep my water bottle with me. Still working on the hands and feet, but I’m on my way.
2) Kids need attention more than your money. My babies love nothing more than to just sit in my lap and let me rub their bellies. All this time, I’ve been focused on making money. Trying to make sure they never ever have to go without. New clothes, new toys, organic food, enough extra money to keep the heat on 75 in the winter. Yeah, I wanted them to have all that. But now I realize that I should’ve spent more time on the floor with them.
3) Exercise will help you get through the day. Do it as soon as you wake up. If I don’t work out within an hour of waking up, there’s a 90% chance it won’t happen. But once it’s out of the way? It’s smooth sailing from there. I have more energy, more patience, I start the day already feeling like I’ve accomplished something.
4) You need less money than you think. This goes along with #2. I became so preoccupied with my job and making more money that it was really taking a toll on my mental health. And now that we’re down to one steady income, I’m finally seeing that most of my hard work was going straight to daycare bills. How lovely.
5) Quiet time is great. I mean really, really great. That is all I have to say about that.
6) Smoothies are a multitasking mama’s best friend. I can get about 250 calories in one smoothie, complete with protein, fiber, vitamins, you name it. Takes 3 minutes to make once you have the ingredients and it’s a healthy boost.
7) Plan your life and make it count. I feel so fortunate that I had other avenues to turn to once I got the notice that my position was eliminated. (By the way, they have GOT to come up with a better way to say you’ve been laid off. Like, “We can’t afford to pay you anymore, because you’re too awesome for us!”) But that’s because I made it a point to always have multiple options just in case ish went down. And it did. So make that back-up plan, even if you’re confident. You’ll be glad it’s there.
8) Food is awesome. Man, if I could marry a plate of brownies or a pulled pork sandwich, I sure would. They are DELICIOUS and something about great food just makes you…well, you know:
But I’ve been using food for everything lately. For a hobby – I’m learning how to bake and giving the results to my husband’s co-workers and the neighbors. For my kids – teaching them basic lessons using cooking and measuring as starting points. Love.it.
9) Get out the house. For your sanity’s sake. This applies to stay-at-home moms AND those who work outside the home. Get out the house. Go to Panera. Or the bookstore. Just sit and read a magazine. Then go home.
10) All you need is within you. Even if you’re scared, you think you don’t have what it takes, you think the economy is too rough, you think your friends won’t support you – it doesn’t matter. You CAN do it. Don’t be scared. Don’t let that fear paralyze you. You can do it – now go!
Right now, my nails look blah. But I do get a manicure once a week and a pedicure every other week. And the hair has to get washed and set about once a week too. Call me crazy, but I’ve got the self-care thing in the bag, dude! As for working out, I do it in the afternoons/evenings before class and after work/internship. I used to be able to workout in the morning, but after having my son… eh. LOL. I find that I DO look forward to going for a run in my afternoons and LOVE the way I feel after a good run. Kudos to quiet time… isn’t it the best thing ever? And yea, I definitely see that one of my son’s favorite activities to do is sit on my lap with a book or a cup of milk or just because. He loves it and I love it too, but I dont do it enough. Sigh.
Look a you, Tara… Laid off and even more awesome than before. I KNEW great things were gonna happen for you. You are a God-send and it would be hard for good things NOT to happen to you. <3
This is so true, I was laid off two years ago and while I looked for another job I spent time freelancing from home. It took me a while to do some of the things listed, but once I did, I can honestly say it improved my psyche and mood. One thing I would add to the list is wake up at the same time and get dressed in something other than pajamas. When you get laid off you need some regularity, and for me it was keeping a similar schedule as pre-lay off.
Great Post. I am a big fan of spending time with your children and slowing down although it seems you are still running a mile a minute. Being a stay at home mom works for me. Any money I made would be spend in daycare too. I can work when she is in school.
This is excellent, Tara! I’m still out on maternity leave so I can identify with your points. I’m currently working on a post about the flip side of this…when dad becomes Mr. Mommy, because my husband is going to stay home with our LO. I’ll forward him your tips! LOL
I’m still working,and wondering why everyday. I feel so rushed in my life, I have no energy for myself or my two daughters. I have a plan for a business, but I have no time to devote to my own project. As of right now I’m not really working for the money, cause I only make enough to pay my bills. I need to have the freedom to live the life that I feel I deserve. Any advice?
Gurrrrrrrrl, stay tuned. The first ebook tackles your question EXACTLY!!!!!! In the meantime, shoot me an email. Let’s chat!
So in my rushed-hurried life I get to the blog once a week to read everything. Tara, you are awesome. This post is right on point and needs to be spread to the masses. I was a little under the weather this morning so I called in and will probably clean up and then head to Borders to do #9. I have a marvelous idea that I formulated over Christmas break but haven’t touched it since I went back to work. I need to email you.
@Ms. Prince – Email me, girl!
I’m here!
This post gives me a lot of hope! I recently left my full time, work-at-home job because the schedule became too unbearable. I would be willing to take on a part time job, but not yet, maybe down the line. I wish you the best of luck on your new journey.
The entire list is the truth. The exercise part I can’t attest to though but I hear it gives you an energy boost. 😛
This article was right on time. I used to run a daycare from home and recently closed it and I’m now looking to re-enter the job market however, working from home would be ideal. Although I’m home, this helped me gain a different perspective and made me realize that I need to do more to take care of me. Thanks, Tara and Ladies.