My son has been working my last nerve lately. Y’all know I love him, but it’s like the little guy is staying up late with a copy of “Driving Your Mama Crazy In 3 Easy Steps” tucked under his pillow in his crib. And he’s taking notes. (When the updated version comes out, he’ll be writing the foreword.)
But I realize he’s almost 3 so this stage of development is normal. He’s still unsure of his emotions at times, and his vocabulary is expanding but not as fast as he (and I) would like. So I do my part to make sure I don’t karate chop my child lose my cool.
I came up with a couple ways I deal with the insanity. I’m calling them the “Four G’s.” Commit them to memory, ladies. This is one of the few times I happen to know what I’m talking about.
Be a Goofball
When my son acts up and starts scowling at me, I know it’s time to pull out the big guns or risk his bad mood ruining what’s left of the day. So I scoop him up, put him on my knee and jiggle him a bit, kind of similar to Bill Cosby in this clip.
I call it “Shaking the grumpies out.” Jiggle him about three times and he’s usually smiling. If he’s really in a funky mood, I grab his leg and pretend I’m shaking the “mad” out of his foot, or I’ll brush his leg off like the grumpiness is a piece of dirt. The lesson? Fight the natural urge to get annoyed when your little one stomps their feet at you, or when they get their “grown man grumpy” on. If you can make them laugh, you’re golden. Be silly and they’ll follow suit.
Be Grateful
Last week my son was really giving me a hard time about something. I can’t even remember but I know I felt like running out the door and sitting in the middle of the front yard for a minute. I had to close my eyes and remember that I was paired up with this little guy, for better or for worse. I was selected to be his mom and that’s something I don’t take lightly. The lesson? When he’s not acting a fool (and even when he is), he is my favorite little guy in the whole world. I love him and I’m grateful to have such a funny, caring, smart little boy to call my son.
Be Good
I can’t even express how embarrassed I was when my son started chastising his sister in the same tone of voice that I used when I was frustrated. “Oh for goodness sakes!” he yelled. It stopped me in my tracks. Why is this little 3’4″ boy sounding just like me? I needed to nip this in the bud – quick. The lesson? Now when I get frustrated with the kids, I pay much more attention not only to what I say, but how I say it. I know I need to set the example.
Be Generous
On those days when my son is the perfect angel, I’m the happiest woman on the block. The days are just better. So when he has his “act right” cap on, I’m in full-blown appreciative mommy mode. The lesson? I’m generous with the praise and I make sure he knows that this good behavior doesn’t go unnoticed.
And here’s one more “G”:
Have a Game Plan.
If I know we’re about to the go to the store and I need to get in and out and I don’t have time for tantrums or whining about something they want to get, we have a pep talk before we get out the car. “Listen babies, we’re going in Target for 15 minutes. We’re on a mission to find the baby wipes.” I turn it into an episode of Dora the Explorer. “First we have to go past the new ladies’ dresses – don’t let Mommy put any into the cart – then we have to run by the shoes – again, don’t let Mommy put any in the cart, and then we’ll make our way to the BABY WIPES!” They have fun, we laugh and I’m in and out in 10 minutes.
What tips and tricks do you have to keeping your sanity amongst toddlers?
Great advice! I think my 3 year old son could co-author that book with your son!
I don’t know how to make it start with a ‘g’ but I’d add that it helps to remember that this stage of his life won’t last forever. That’s both reassuring in that he won’t always get under my skin the way he does, and sad because he is so adorable and I wish he could stay this tiny and (relatively) innocent his whole life. So I try to enjoy the moment rather than merely get through it.
I know this is really silly, but it works. Whenever my kids start getting on my nerves or acting up, I start to follow them around the house, repeating what they say and doing what they do. I guess in a way, I start to get on their little nerves. It is funny and they do leave me alone and stop nagging or fighthing or whatever it was they were doing. We all end up laughing in the end. It also works with my husband!
Too funny! May have to try this!
I’m going to try these tips on my 2 year old. He is REALLY bugging lately!
I have a 2.5 year old daughter, and boy, is she TWO! In all aspects of my life, I try to keep it positive. And that goes into my parenting. Honestly, sometimes I think my daughter is EVIL! I’m half-kidding here, but…yeah.
Anyway, I keep it positive by singing her favorite songs when she’s mad or sad. Doesn’t always work (sometimes she’ll tell me “NOOOOO!”), but it works half the time — which is good enoughf or me! The “If You’re Happy and You Know It” song worked just last night when she wasn’t happy about it being bed time. I skip the traditional lyrics and make up some to keep her guessing what I’ll say next. Ex: “If you’re happy and you know it…”
FLUTTER YOUR EYES
JUMP UP AND DOWN
FLASH A SMILE
TURN AROUND
{Then this where Mommy starts #winning..}
PUT YOUR SHIRT ON
PUT YOUR DIAPER ON
Etc.
I also encourage her to use her words when she’s mad, and only respond to her once she’s calmed down. A word I say a lot in my house is PATIENT. “Be patient.” And she gets it. She doesn’t always do it, but she gets it. And that’s half the battle.
Very much looking forward to the responses here. Life with a toddler is a constant learning experience.
Great advice!
This summer, Nate has been driving me up the wall…the “be grateful” really resonates for me because during school, my classmates and I get lunch a lot in the cafeteria Children’s Hospital and it always made me thankful that my son is happy and healthy – even if we have some trying moments/days…
Glad I read this today. I’ve been going through a rough couple of weeks with my 2 1/2 year old daughter (Gerri — sometimes I think mine is evil too!) and it really helps to know that I’m not alone in the struggle. I’ll try some of those tips next time the attitude comes out . . .
Great advice!! I’m so glad I read this today. My oldest will be 2 in a month and there are times when she really tries my patience. And I agree…the vocabulary is an issue but I’m glad to know that I’m not alone in this.
I will try these tips next time…
@Tameka – As they grow, the challenges shift. It’s always good to keep some tricks in your pocket.