I’m coming up on the eight-month mark of self-employment and have had some time to reflect on how far I’ve come since last December, when I was shaking in my boots with nothing but two months’ pay, hope and prayer.
A lot of people ask me what I do in my “real life” aka what I do outside the blog and it’s a lot: I’m a freelance writer/blogger, meaning I write articles for other sites and organizations. I’m also a social media consultant, where I manage the social media strategy and day-to-day upkeep of social media profiles for a few organizations. Now I’ve added manuscript editor to my plate, where I edit books from beginning to end, making edits on grammar, style, punctuation, tone, formatting, etc. (The manuscript on my desk right now is a 300-pager. Gulp.)
The blessing is that I get to do all of this from my couch. I generally handle most of my business through email, PayPal and regular ol’ checks in the mail, with an occasional phone call or in-person meeting. My kids are home with me and I’ve slowly turned our day-to-day life into something that fits us.
But it ain’t all good. Some days it’s downright terrifying and exhausting and I curse myself for being so stubborn about being my own boss. However, I know it will all work out in the end. You heard it here first.
The Good:
I make my own hours. I didn’t realize how much I’d value this until this summer. My two-year-old has been asking me to take him to the beach for about a year now. I mentioned it to him last summer but since we rarely had a day below 90 (and Mama doesn’t do heat) we didn’t go. But one Friday morning this summer he asked me again. I looked at my to-do list and said, “Screw it.” Packed up the kids and we were at the beach an hour later. I have no boss looking over my shoulder, coming into my office asking for an update on a project. Now, I get assigned projects and I turn them in on deadline. Doesn’t matter when I get it done.
We save money. With my former job, I was in the car 15+ hours a week just to get to work. I would have to get gas every 3-4 days. No bueno. Recently, I realized I hadn’t filled up my tank in over a month! I went 32 days on ONE tank of gas. Praise the Lord! Also, the kids are out of daycare so we pocket the $1100 a month we used to spend there. We still eat out, but I’ve gotten better at making meals stretch so our food budget is actually lower.
I get much more time with the kids. With my former job, I saw my kids for an hour in the morning and two hours at night. Then weekends. I’d feel so guilty about not hardly seeing them during the week that our weekends would be a big blur of activity, leaving us all crabby and tired by Monday morning. Not my best plan. Now they are with me all the time. I love having them here and seeing how much they learn in a typical week. I love taking pre-lunch walks with them and exposing them to new things. It’s one of the reasons why I stick with this new path, even though Lord knows it has some downsides…
The Bad:
I make my own hours. Which means, if I don’t work, we don’t eat. When you work for someone else, you can actually afford to spend all morning on Facebook or have one day a week where you just feel blah and it takes forever to get something done. If you show up, the paycheck comes, even if the work is late. But since I make my own hours, I have to find time wherever I can to get stuff done. That means I might be up at 3 a.m. to knock out a project. Or I’m using my little bit of downtime during the day (aka the kids’ naptime) to do some research. It doesn’t leave much downtime in my life. I’m either working or sleeping. I’m in full grind-mode 24/7.
I have no babysitter. In theory, I wanted to be a work-at-home mom so I could stay home and watch the kids. But with the work I do, having a chance to actually, I dunno, focus is crucial. I can’t edit articles and papers if I’m stopping every five seconds to break up a fight or wipe someone’s butt. So my parents offered to come get the kids one day a week to give me a little bit of breathing room. Last week my dad picked up the kids and I sat at the dining room table for nine hours straight, working against the clock to turn in my first edited manuscript. By the time they got back I was a crazed mess. But I got it done. (And the pay is nice.)
The Ugly:
The stress. Like I said before, I’m in grind-mode 24/7, which means I’m always looking for another assignment, I’m always looking at my bank account and budgeting for the next month, and I’m always working overtime to please the clients I already have. I will not fail my children and I will not fail myself. Knowing that your fate is in your hands is oddly powerful, yet terrifying. I do the best I can to manage the stress, but I know that stress is part of the reason why I’ve been success so far. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone and enabled me to land jobs I didn’t think I could.
In the end, I feel the good outweighs the bad right now. I’ve had my days where I wonder where my free time went, but I accept that this work-work-work life is the season I’m supposed to be in right now. I love the work I do and I love making my clients happy. I love that I will be available as my daughter starts kindergarten this fall. I love that I am making enough to cover the mortgage each month. I love that my son and daughter watch me work and they are beginning to understand what I do. I love that my husband supports my dreams and is also beginning to understand all that goes into being a successful work-at-home mom.
Life…is good.
Do you have any questions about the work-at-home mom life? Any WAHMs out there have anything to add? Let me know in the comments.
What a great article for someone thinking of working from home. I’m telling ya — I don’t know how you WAHMs do it. That takes some serious multitasking and discipline. I can’t even do grad school work until my child naps or is in bed for the night, so I couldn’t imagine doing “work” work! And the thought of making my own hours is scary. I’m the poster child for procrastination.
I also like how you made it clear that WAHM doesn’t mean the same thing it did years ago. Today’s WAHMs are grinding just as much as — if not more than — they would be if they were in somebody’s office.
Kudos to you and all the WAHM moms out there! You’re truly super moms.
Wow I must cnoefss you make some very trenchant points.
I don’t know how you do it. I tried to do one class from home and immediately dropped it because I just could not find the balance. I wish I could go back to school one day…You should let us in on your secrets.
Love this! I really think it’s valuable to lay it out in the good, bad and ugly. When you own your own business, it’s on you 24/7 and there’s a lot to consider. I like how you wrapped it up with the “I love…” paragraph because my guess is that is why you do it in the first place!
This is so true. The hardest thing about working from home is that most people don’t get it. I don’t plop down next to my husband while he teachers and munch loudly on a sandwich do I? Call him and ask him to feed the kids lunch? Um, no. There is no divide between kids and work when you are a work-from-home mom, and for some moms, like myself, it’s really hard to focus on both things at the same time. I also work as a nurse part-time, and although the work is not as fulfilling to me as writing is, there is a huge relief to a clock-in, clock-out kind of job.
Really insightful cheers, I reckon your subscribers might possibly want a great deal more articles along these lines carry on the great effort.
Again, great points Tara! In my company, I do a little of both. I work from home setting appointments but I go out to meet with clients and train my team. So for me, I feel like I have the best (and worst) of both worlds. I get to spend a lot of time with my children but I also get that time I need to get away from them and be “professional” mommy when I go out to meet with people. However, I am a big procrastinator myself so there’s times I just have to find someone to watch my kids so I can get away to focus and work but lately I’ve found what works for me is to listen to some good old country music in the background as I call my clients and that puts me right in the correct mind frame.
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I applaud your decision to become a WAHM! My husband and I made the decision for me to be a WAHM in the spring when I finished my masters degree. For all of the reasons you mentioned above, spending more time with my daughter, having the freedom of being self employed. I am lucky to have a professional position with my church that allows me to work from home and a home-based business that I LOVE and very passionate about. As you mentioned, there are a few challenges. I am often prone to working 24-7. Recently, I had to put a stop to that (losing sleep). I schedule my days like I did when I was a HR manager and later a full time graduate student. I’ve established a cut off time so I can actually enjoy the time I have at home. It’s a little difficult to get things done with a two year old running around, but somehow, I manage to meet all of my deadlines and take my kid to play dates without pulling my hair out!