I opened the YML mailbag and the following message was sent to me from Akilah (name changed):
I really, really, really dislike my job. Like, if I could somehow call in sick for the rest of the year, I would do it. I have no real responsibility, I’m just there to be doing everyone else’s grunt work and it’s driving me crazy. I feel like I’m stuck unless I go back to school…I only have a few college credits (I dropped out when I got pregnant freshman year), but I remember being overwhelmed…Could I actually go back to school and work this craptastic job? And what about my daughter? How would I make this work? I’d love to get input from other moms who are already doing it.
Who wants to tackle this one? I’ll go first.
It will not be easy. Not in any way. Probably not what you want to hear, but it’s true. Think about it—college is no picnic when you’re childless and have no other responsibilities. So when you’re trying to hustle between school and taking care of the kids and not letting your work suffer, it’s a difficult dance.
Here’s what you need to decide early on: is that degree going to be worth it? I usually argue that more education can’t hurt. If you can swing it financially (and there are lots of resources to help you figure that out), then it’s usually a good move.
Here’s my little nugget of inspiration: Do it. Go for it. Don’t hem and haw too much about it because then you won’t do it. You’ll sit and look at all the changes and sacrifices (namely sleep) that you’ll have to make and it’ll scare you from making those moves to improve your future.
Get a solid goal in mind. If you want to be a ____, let people know. Talk to your advisor. Email your professors. Use class projects to research your area of interest. Be bold. Go after what you want, even if you’re tired. Because you will be tired.
Any other advice for Akilah? How did you know you wanted to go back to school?
Akilah, my daughter was just turning a year old when I decided to go for my master’s degree. Although there were some challenges, I was successful. It really helps if you have the support of family but if not you can still do it! I think the biggest thing to consider is what would you like to go for as well as considering if you need to attend classes on campus or if they can be completed online. I highly recommend taking online courses because they are obviously easily accessible and you can work on your own time, plus you don’t have to find a babysitter (save $). They are also geared towards working professionals with families.
Keep in mind sacrifices will be made as Tara mentioned mostly being sleep but it is all worth it at the end when your walking across that stage! Definitely keeping your child/children on a routine schedule during the week will help you manage your time effectively in order to keep up with studying and meeting deadlines for assignments. Trust me it can be done because now I am starting a PhD program (online).
Best wishes to you!
In June of 2010, I realized i hated my job and it was showing in my work. So I was in the same position you were in. I personally decide to quit my job and go back to school full time that fall. BTW I had a 6 month old baby boy. Now i know my choice can’t always be the right choice for all. But that degree is going to make a differences for you and your child’s future. Go Back To School. Look at Online and Community colleges in your area (I suggest community), see what programs they have that mine interest and motivate you to go back o school ( I am working on a BA in Law) and start off part time until you feel you can be a full time student. I sent the 2010-2011 class year as a full time student, and will be doing the same for 2011-2012. After that I may consider going to part time. Just work out a balance, do homework on breaks and lunches, or do homework when your child is doing homework. Make learning a family thing, it will show the importance of education to your child. It will be a struggle some days. But there is a whole world of single parents doing the same thing.
Love your advice to her. I would also recommend that she start looking into online classes. If she starts with online classes it’ll give her chance to work at her pace and time to arrange childcare for when she has to take classes that aren’t offered online at campus. Aligning yourself to be in the position for a better life is never easy.
We’re always going to have obstacles to over come but we have to be confident that we can. Jump in with both feet and don’t look back. Rediscover the dream you once had.
Look into what the school offers for young or student parents. I had no idea how much my university was able to offer to young student moms until after I had my child. Everything from gift certificates for back to school shopping, Christmas hampers (including the turkey!), to social events like Halloween and Christmas parties for student parents and their children. There is also a daycare on campus where student parents get priority and discounted costs. I knew very little, if not anything, about what my university was able to offer, but as I looked into it, it definitely made it easier to come back and get that degree knowing that I had so much support from my school.
I would definitely suggest you do a little research and see what your school is able to offer you as a student parent as well.
I’m getting ready to go back to school too, but without those responsibilities (a child and a boring job). Just like Tara said, reach out to people. Tell any and everybody you know that you want to succeed and you need their help. Make regular trips to your advisor. Keep constant communication with your professors. If you need a tutor or study buddy, get one. College can be extremely overwhelming but just know there’s people there to help you.
It’s true… juggling work, college, motherhood, being a wife/gf/significant other, daughter, friend, & also handling other priorities & obligations and trying to sneak in a little social life is not easy at ALL. It’s a sacrifice! & We do it not only so that our children and family can live comfortable lives, but to also show them the importance of a college education & the difference having one makes. And of course to demonstrate how much of a struggle it is to do so — in hopes that they learn from us and do the right thing when it’s their turn.
My advice from personal experience — start off slow. Especially if you’re still unsure what career path you want to take on. Do your research, figure out more or less what field you’d like to go into, then figure out which school offers it. & Also keep in mind which school best accommodates your needs/schedule/etc. Don’t dive into major classes, tackle the pre-reqs first because you’ll most likely change your mind about what to major in. Start off by taking one class. It’s literally like juggling, throw in one class at a time so that you can get accustomed to the new flow of things before you throw something else in the mix.
You’ll feel overwhelmed at times but remember “time is going to pass anyway” whether you are doing something valuable and productive with the time or not. So even if you just start small with one class, you are doing working towards that goal.
Goodluck
Going to grad school while being a parent is possible. Its tough, but you can do it. My wife and I have recently started a website dedicated to grad school parents. We are documenting our journey through our masters and doctoral programs, while raising a busy baby girl. We’re also trying to provide as many resources as possible to help other parents. Check us out!
gradschoolandbabydrool.blogspot.com