As I sat in class yesterday, I took the opportunity to jot down a quick to-do list to get stuff off my mind and onto paper so I could focus on the discussion we were having about work-life balance (ironic, yes).
We were discussing the fact that so many people are striving for work-life balance but what does that mean? I argued that it doesn’t.mean.anything.
All this time I’ve been trying to “balance” all the facets of my life. And it just doesn’t work. There has never been a time when I felt like all cylinders were clicking at one time.
But you know what? That’s okay.
I’ve since learned to accept that I give my best to my children every day, and I embrace the good days and learn from the bad. If I really stop to think about it, I’m a much better mother than I even give myself credit for.
My kids are kind and smart and inquisitive. They love to read and they’re learning to share. They will try new foods and they laugh a lot. They’re cute and cuddly and they show me lots of love. They love to help me around the house. They are great kids. And I’m not just saying that because they’re mine.
So often, I’m focused on what I can’t do or don’t do for my kids. I don’t have them signed up for every conceivable arts or music program. I’m not a stickler for them keeping their rooms clean. They might eat candy or takeout much more than I’d like. I might not play on the floor with them like I want to. But they are not suffering as a result of being my children. They are thriving.
I’ve often felt like I’ve had to be an even better mother to make up for the fact that I had my children young. But guess what? They don’t know how old I’m “supposed to be.” All they know is that I’m their mother and that I love them more than life. In their eyes, I could be 20, or 15, or 45. They don’t know and they don’t care. I wish I had spent more time reflecting on that than being so self-conscious about my young mother status.
Hi Tara! What a fantastic post! I truly agree – there is always something to worry about or feel guilty about – but if we raise our kids with good intentions and lots of love we will be fine! Love the blog.
As always, I wholeheartedly agree with this post. I’ve definitely felt the pressure to be a “better” mother just because I had an unplanned pregnancy and started out young. I’ve worked two jobs, started my Masters, and pursued so many goals in an effort to try to prove that I was still worth something. So nice to find this community you have created Tara!!
You are doing a great job and yes, it is very difficult to find balance..what is that? I stay at home (and work at home) with my son and some days, I feel frustrated and overwhelmed by being with him. I say a silent prayer, he gives me a big hug and I know it will be ok. Being a parent is a challenging job and watching our “seeds” grow and develop is the biggest blessing ever.
Great post Tara! I really agree and understand what you mean. I have come to accept that I am an amazing mother and get better every day. I learn so much from my children and I know what it is like to be a 20 year old mom and a 37 year old mom. It is different but still so wonderful at the same time! Keep up the great work…it pays off!!
I would love to!
And thanks!
I’d say this is true for 99% of moms. We get down on ourselves for not being perfect, comparing ourselves to the moms down the street. But we forget that the moms down the street aren’t perfect, either! Instead, we should just focus on being the best mom that we personally can be.
I can’t wait to be a mom just for this. I mean, I will wait, obviously, but when the time comes, I’m going to cherish every moment.