The past three months have kicked me in the pants.
I don’t know what it is about this semester, but I just.can’t.get.right. Like, dinner is always late and something subpar. I’ve never been more ashamed of the clutter and dirt around my house, and my sex drive is like…ghost. GHOST, I TELL YOU. I can’t tell you the last time I worked out.
My workload (which I know I should be grateful for) is too much. Way too much. And I’m having a hard time getting a handle on it. I work all day every day and in turn, it’s making me a grouchy mommy.
My budget is busted to hell. Which sucks because I work too hard to be worrying about money. But too many big expenses (guess who had to get a new furnace? Hello, $4,000 bill!) have left me with less money than expected. Christmas is coming up. Hell, the mortgage payment is coming up. Oh goody.
Nothing is clicking right now.
Now, this is usually where I sigh and take a deep breath and just keep pushing forward. And I guess I will do that.
Later.
Now I’m getting this off my chest.
One difference is that this is the first time I just…don’t care. I know things will get back to normal, sooner or later. Ain’t nothing I can do about it but just keep pressing through.
But I do miss sexy times with the husband. (And I think he misses it too. LOL)
I do like cooking a decent meal rather than an endless loop of pizza, chicken nuggets, cereal. Repeat.
I do like having a clean house.
I do miss being able to go hang out with my friends without worrying that the two hours I spend laughing and giggling is going to cost me $200 worth of working time. (Never mind the fact that I don’t make $100 an hour.)
But hey. These funks come and they go. I won’t dwell on it. I just wanted to write about it, because something tells me I’m not the only one. (Tell me I’m not the only one!) It helps to feel like someone else understands what you’re going through and they won’t judge you for taking a moment to vent.
Life is hard sometimes. Very difficult. And usually I pride myself on being able to take the stress and keep going. I refuse to be knocked down when I’m trying my best.
I’ve been crazy busy but this is a good thing. I have to keep reminding myself of this, or else the pace will kill me. I’m breathing, and organizing and working through it as best I can. That’s all you can do.
have i told you lately how awesome you are? For me, it hasn’t been three months…more like six. My whole world has been upside down and believe me I’m still trying to get back to normal. I realize I can’t do it alone. I finally put my big girl pants on, called my doctor and vented about my exhaustion, sleep deprivation, bad mood, and lack of energy. She suggested I see a therapist and I have my appointment tomorrow. Taking all the steps to making my life a little better
Hoping you’re able to get back to your old self too.
@Lisette – So glad you’re taking steps to get your way out. As for me, I’m just taking it one day at a time…
I just have one request: GET OUT OF MY HEAD! *sigh*
It’s okay. Really. I am starting to get mine back after a good six months of wondering where the hell it went. But during that time, and many other times like it, all I could do is exist. Nothing made me happy and I wasn’t sad, just tired. We are about to enter a new year, so now is the time to chart a plan of action to get your mojo back. Focus on what you CAN control. And make some time for sex with your husband. Seriously. You need his support now more than ever and that intimacy between the two of you could be just the spark you need!
BEEN HERE… WILL BE HERE….. AM HERE… WILL BE HERE AGAIN!!! ugh.
tara!! i was there a week and a half ago and i actually had to “unplug” myself and re-asses. i posted a “see ya later” on my blog, turned down the facebook and got caught up. i feel so much better. things seem to be clicking in to place, we got a new dishwasher {i think that’s a main part of the problem – i hate dishes and obviously have become a princess who needs a dishwasher!! haha} anyways i just want to tell you that you are not alone, are doing a good job with it all and you know in your heart of hearts that sexy time is right around the corner so don’t fret about it. there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! so pour yourself a glass of something bubbly and toast that corner – it will come up sooner than you think!
I am so here with you. I’m trying to take it all one day at time too but some days I forget that I can’t do everything. And let’s just say those days do not end well. I’m hoping that along with the New Year’s will come some much needed changes around these parts and especially a vacation.
My mojo has BEEN gone..Trying to get myself together so that I can live MY dreams and get my life back together..
You know that I understand! As I get older I realize that instead of feeling like I ever just “find” my mojo, it seems to move in cycles. Six months ago i felt completely without it. By the end of the summer I felt the complete opposite. And when you’re without it, it sucks until you get it back. What helps me a little is trying to just pick one area that I’ve kind of given up on and pay attention to that until I get it back. So if I need to just focus on maintaining the house, or even just the kitchen, until I get back to the place where I feel like I can do it all, then that’s what I do, and make my best effort not to feel bad about it.
But I know it still sucks. Don’t beat yourself up about feeling like you’ve lost it a little. One thing I’m learning is that It will come back.
I am SOOOO glad you posted this! With papers all around my house to be shredded/filed, bills to pay (not sure how….sigh), another MBA class starting next week and my job responsibilities have just been ramped up from covering our local site to global (15 sites), I am THIS CLOSE to screaming at the top of my lungs nonstop (well, for about 2 mins). I can’t wait to get past this feeling of being overwhelmed!
I like Aja’s idea of focusing on just one area and paying attention to that until the energy comes back to do it all. I think I will do that too…..
DITTO DITTO DITTO DITTO (comforting that I’m not alone)