As I type this, it’s about four days before my son starts preschool. It will be the first time in a full year that he will be someplace other than just with me all day.
I tried to do the superwoman thing and make $50K a year while working from home, with no babysitter, and write books, and run two or three successful blogs, be a super responsive social media consultant, edit manuscripts, make delicious dinners, keep a clean house, and maintain my 3.7 GPA. The hell?
To give myself credit, I did manage all that for a full year. But I was dead-ass tired every night. Like, I’d wake up in the morning not knowing what happened in the minutes before I went to bed. It was just, “Oh, I guess I went to sleep,” each morning. No clue if I dragged myself to bed or if my husband was peeling me off the computer and carrying me to bed. I dunno.
So I’ve been doing a heck of a lot of…inspirational stuff lately. Make it happen, get yours, go to school, rise above, get inspired….all that stuff is well and good, but man, I just want a sleep session. Like, could someone give me 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (make it 12) and promise me that no work would pile up while I was unconscious? Please?
I knew this—the life I’ve chosen—was going to be stressful. I mean, I don’t even want to list all the things that are on my plate or I might just fling that imaginary plate into the wall. I even tried to make peace with the fact that I am going to be insanely tired for the foreseeable future.
I just want to know that this hard work means something. That someone is taking notice. That the plans are lining up as they should. That when I’m 30 or 40 or 50, I will be able to look back at this time and say, “Yup, this is where it all started.” And give my 20something self a high five for busting her hump so my 50something self can be straight chillin’ in Hawaii somewhere.
So I’m not complaining. Really. Eventually this will pay off. I’m sure of it. It’s just hard to keep up the pace when you’re pulled in 70 different directions and your bank account is not quite showing the fruits of your labor. But I’m getting there. We’re all getting there. And it will be glorious.
Tara, it WILL be glorious! It HAS to be glorious. It BETTER be glorious. There’s got to be something to this work your tail off in your 20’s thing. I see people who have strategically worked in while in their 20’s reap those rewards later. We just have to be as strategic and work SMARTER, not necessarily harder.
Keep striving it will all pay off just the fact that you are pushing yourself and not giving up is a big accomplishment. I give you kudos for all you have listed that you do I couldn’t imagine but we as women are equipped to handle these sort of things it’s in all of us and while some of us have not yet uncovered that part of ourselves others, like you, face it all head on and that is something to be said in itself. I am a strong believer that hard work pays off just keep pushing but don’t forget to take some time for yourself every now and then even if it’s just a quick breather.
Keep going, Tara! I’m cheering you on! Doing this when your kids are very young (and when you are very young) is actually the best time. Try doing the same things at the same pace 10 years later – no fun! (I should know!)
LOVE IT!!! You’ll see the fruits of your labor soon enough. Just don’t forget us when it happens!