REVIEW: I Don’t Know How She Does It – Realistic For Working Moms Everywhere?

When I worked full-time at my former PR job, I made arrangements with my boss to work 8-4 instead of the standard 9-5 so I could get my kids’ daycare on time. I worked an hour away and if I left at 5, there was no way I’d make it on time, especially considering Ohio winters and associated traffic jams.

She agreed.

So every day at 3:55, I’d be frantically saving emails and shutting off my computer. From my office to my car was a seven-minute walk and if I wasn’t on the freeway (another two minutes away) by 4:07 traffic would start to get congested and it would take an additional 25-30 minutes to get home. Yes, I had it down to a science.

But every day (and I mean every day), someone would poke their head in my office at 3:50. “Hey Tara, I just want to run this by you…” and then proceed to eat up all my precious I-gotta-wind-down-and-gather-my-stuff-and-run-out-of-here-as-professionally-as-I-can time. It never failed. I spent so much time banging my head against the steering wheel with that job, mentally wiped out after spending 2+ hours in the car every day.

So I know the working mom struggle very well. I was excited to see Sarah Jessica Parker’s take on it in I Don’t Know How She Does It, about a high-powered financial analyst Kate Reddy and her struggle to juggle kids, a demanding job and a marriage that’s buckling under the strain. (Redbox, $1.)

In the movie, Kate’s up for landing this big deal for her firm, which means she is putting in extra work and flying to New York to woo a client. Meanwhile, her husband’s working on his own career and trying to make some big moves of his own. She has a single mom best friend and her enemies, the Momsters, are these perfectly perfect stay-at-home moms, who have the time to pull off delicious cookie trays for the kindergarten bake sale, when Kate is left to destress a store-bought pie and sprinkle some powdered sugar on top.

Some critics thought no one would care about how she does it, because hey, women have been doing it for a long time and we’re in a recession so just hush up about how hard it is to have a great job. But I thought the movie was less about her job and more about how even though Kate had more money, she still struggled with every aspect of her life.

My “favorite” scenes in the movie:

• Kate’s mother-in-law asking Kate if her 2-year-old son wouldn’t have speech delays if she was home with him more.
• Kate’s snotty co-worker congratulating her on a big win by telling her that her kids will have more time to spend with the nanny.
• Kate rushing to the hospital after her son tripped on the carpet and fell down the stairs.

But my favorite scenes came between Kate and her husband, Richard. Not because of how they went, but because of how I wish they had gone.

For example, Kate had a big presentation at work that day and her husband had a big work dinner that evening. Kate was so preoccupied with work that she looked down and realized she was going to be late getting home. He left the kids with a sitter that she didn’t know and she was upset. “Kate, the kids were okay. Sometimes okay has to be good enough,” he snapped.

But here’s my problem. When we talk about how hard it is to be a working mom, does anyone ever say how hard it is to be a working dad? No. Not ever. Because (and I saw this first hand with my relationship) it is assumed that the women will take care of everything. Kate had a “list” of things to do throughout the movie – do the laundry, find a back-up babysitter, fix the carpet on the steps, make a pie for the bake sale. And then her husband got praised for being “so hands-on” because he changed the kid’s diaper. What? Come again?

EVERY problem in the movie fell on Kate’s shoulders. When he told her he had a meeting, he didn’t try to help her figure out who was going to watch the kids. He just assumed she would do it. And when plans fell through, somehow it was her fault.

I enjoyed the movie but I really wish it had wrapped up with SJP really laying down the law. Get a back-up babysitter. Let her husband worry about the bake sale. Ignore the Momsters. Take herself on a vacation.

The moral of the story is this: Do what makes you happy. Remain calm. Get some help. A real support system.

Have you seen the movie? What did you think?