It’s back! My favorite feature on YML is {She Inspires}, mainly because I love meeting new moms and hearing what makes them great. I just met Bella Rose, creator of Mamademics.com. She’s blogging about the intersection between motherhood and…whatever else is on your plate, whether it’s school, work, your love life, etc. She’s very cool people and I hope you make her feel very welcome!
Name: Bella Rose
Age: 28
Blog name/URL: www.mamademics.com
Kids (When are you due?): My first son is due March 28, 2012
When someone says I inspire him or her I say nothing initially. I tend to be very shocked when someone says it, because being an inspiration isn’t something I purposely try to do. It’s very flattering and actually makes me feel a little pressured to be perfect.
I decided to start Mamademics because one of my friends asked me to serve as a guest blogger for her site The Celeb Mommy, and while coming up with posts for her she kept encouraging me to start a site of my own. I didn’t realize how many people are interested in the life of a “regular” mom who is attempting to have it all so to speak. I hope that when Mamademics officially launches in the coming weeks it will become a network for other women who decide to not only pursue a career in academia, but to have a family as well. There are not a lot of resources for us and we are generally discouraged from having children until we’ve obtained a tenure track position and/or fulfilled our requirements for tenure.
Whenever I have a moment of free time I look forward to curling up with a non-school book or watching mindless reality TV. I know those are two totally different things, but they are both relaxing for me.
On really tough days I cry in the shower. I have always been a sensitive person, so even before the pregnancy I found myself having mini-emotional breakdowns every few months since starting grad school. If I feel the tears overwhelming me, I use that time to take a shower, wash my hair, and cry while playing India.Arie in the background. It’s a very cleansing thing for me, and I’m actually going to miss my long showers once the baby comes.
The thing that scares me the most about becoming a mom is messing up someone else’s life. It’s one thing if I make a mistake that alters my own life, but I am now responsible for another human being and I absolutely do not want to mess up his life in any way.
The thing that excites me the most about becoming a mom is knowing that I had a hand in bringing another life into this world and nurturing him. I absolutely cannot wait to watch him grow and experience everything that life has to offer.
If my son can only remember one thing I taught him, I hope it’s that an education will take him far and it’s the one thing no one can take away from you. Being well educated not only opens doors for you, but it also prevents others from taking advantage of you. This does not mean that I expect him to go to college and obtain several degrees, because you can have a degree and still be uneducated. I want him to educate himself in ways that the classroom does not always do.
I’ll feel like a great mom if I can balance it all. If at the end of the day, my son is happy and well taken care of and I’ve managed to not only fulfill my career requirements, but maintain a stable marriage as well I will be pleased.
The hardest part of being pregnant and a student has been the loss of control. This is the first time in my life I’ve felt like I can’t control everything. I felt like there was so much I needed to do, but didn’t have the energy to accomplish. During the first 6 months of my pregnancy, I was finishing up PhD coursework while teaching 5 classes, so I didn’t feel like I was able to truly enjoy every single moment of the pregnancy initially. I worried a lot about getting adequate sleep something that I didn’t think about before the pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant the last week of my summer term of classes, and I know that my term papers were not up to par; and then I took my last course in the fall and it was so hard to stay focused. Overall, I didn’t feel like I was able to give as much energy to my schoolwork and teaching, because I had so much going on hormonally and mentally.
My support system wouldn’t be complete without my husband. I have been very fortunate to have the support of both of our families and friends throughout my pregnancy. I am consistently amazed by the love our families and friends show us on a daily basis, but overall I couldn’t imagine going through this pregnancy without a supportive partner. From the moment I called him frantic about our “unplanned” pregnancy he has been a rock of support. From cooking to cleaning to giving me pep talks when I didn’t feel like I could handle being pregnant at this point in my academic career, he has been there. Living so far away from our families has forced us to rely on one another more, and this pregnancy has shown me that we can be the ultimate support system for one another.
My personal motto is you can’t always help the cards you’re dealt, but you can always play them to win.
congrats and good luck…i’ll be checking out her site as i have an interest in academia.
Thank you!!!! If you have any questions let me know I love to help others.
Love it! Bella is so young but is making it happen. I have been contemplating for a couple years about going to get my Ph.D and I still haven’t completed an application. What am I waiting for? I think Bella just gave me a little bit of courage.
Ms. Prince it is never too late to pursue your dreams. I have had students in the classes I teach who have children my age, and I love the fact that they never gave up on their dreams.