Seems like just yesterday I was writing about my daughter’s first day at school and here I am staring at a soon-to-be first grader.
Her first school year has me feeling somewhat sad and triumphant. Sad because it went by so fast and also because I wasn’t able to be as involved as I would have liked to been.
Ladies, you do not know how much it is eating me up inside that I wasn’t able to be a room mom, or to handle lunch duty, or to chaperone on more of the many field trips they’ve had throughout the year. Business is booming (which is great) but it has eaten up a lot of my time. Add in my school work, my thesis and ongoing responsibilities at home and there just isn’t enough time in the day to do everything.
I do as much as I can. I’ve been on four field trips this year (sounds like a lot but they go on at least two per month), I bring in treats for special events, and I help my daughter with her homework and projects. But still, compared with some of the other parents, I often feel like I don’t do enough. No one else has made me feel this way…it’s just something internal that I’m struggling with.
I don’t really subscribe to mommy guilt anymore, but if there’s anything that can trigger an episode, it’s feeling like I’ve fallen short somehow in my child’s education.
So this is why I’m sitting up at 11 p.m. searching Pinterest for “teacher appreciation gifts” to come up with something really clever for my daughter’s teacher, as a way to say “I really appreciate everything you’ve been able to do with my daughter and her class.”
And also, I guess, part of my guilt is that I still feel like I don’t fit in with the other parents as well as I’d like. Here I am—a good 10 years younger than everyone else, with a career in blogging, working from home…I just don’t have as much in common with the other parents and that frustrates me. Truly.
*sigh* So where does this leave me? I don’t know. We’ll be making some adjustments over the summer and I will work on overcoming this guilt.
But I will say that I am so proud of my daughter for all the good work she’s done this year. She’s been attentive in class, she has rarely been “counted” (the equivalent of a warning for misbehaving), and her work has improved from quarter to quarter. She’s, in a word, impressive. Her work ethic is incredible and she’s only 5! (You might say she gets it from her mama!).
If it makes you feel better, although I’m not a teacher, I work at a school and the other day sitting with a group the other day they were talking about how today’s parents can be maybe a little too involved, i.e. they wished on occasion they would just go home! I also think that kids are a lot more understanding than we give them credit for. When I was little, I knew my mom worked and wasn’t going to make it to everything. As long as she got to the big stuff, plays etc., I never remember being disappointed.
Thanks, Aja!! My daughter’s school is very big on parental involvement and they ask us all the time (I mean ALL THE TIME) to come in, help out at events, set up, bring treats, chaperone, clean up, donate, run fundraisers, etc. It’s honestly a part-time job if you let it. But I did my best and that’ll have to be that. Once I graduate from school I can definitely squeeze in a few more things, but right now, Mama gotta focus on her education too! LOL
She is sooo adorable. Cheers on a great job mommy
Ummm… you’re doing a fantastic job! You can only do but so much and I think you’ve made a great effort in what matters the most. It’s hard because you can’t be everywhere at all times, but your interactions are meaningful. And that’s what matters.
I’m sure she does in deed getbit from her mama. I dont think you.should feel guilty. You have been involved and you’re also teaching hour daughter time management, decision making, and prioritization.
She cute by the way, and looks like you.
Tara, every grade school is CONSTANTLY sending requests for parents to be room mom, help with parties, chaperone field trips, etc. I sometimes think teachers don’t realize just how overwhelming it can be to parents who, after finally getting their kids into a school day routine, are still trying to juggle work, taking care of the house, etc.
Think of them more as invitations to be involved if you have time, and not demands. They’re trying to make sure parents (especially the helicopter kind) know they’re welcome to participate. But, frankly, it sounds like you’ve done plenty so relax!
Hey Tara! I know exactly what you mean by this! My 5 year old son just finished head start and had his bridge crossing ceremony (something like a graduation) and I couldn’t help but feel like I should have done a better job at preparing him for kindergarten. Education is just so important to me and making sure I allow my children to have the best opportunities possible is a huge responsibility (and sometimes burden) that I just can’t turn my back on. I guess no matter how much you do, you’ll never really feel like you did enough! BUT in the end, it’s all about them and the’re love of learning and I’m sure if we continue to share our passion and love of learning around them, they will continue to excel! Continued blessings for you and your family!
Hi to your beautiful daughter. You are such a responsible mom who just want to give best for her kid. I really admire you for being an awesome mom. You are really a flexible mom. It seems you are a multitasking mom. How I wish I could handle my responsibilities as a mother and a working mom.
she’s adorable!!!