{YML Voices} Learning The Ropes Of Co-Parenting

By Rebecca

My life was going just the way I wanted it to. I had my baby at 20, which I admit was sooner than I had planned, but with a loving boyfriend and supportive family, I was happy. I was halfway through my bachelor’s degree, and I had a bright future planned for my little family.

My life did a complete 180 the day I had to leave the father of my child.

As a child, I was raised by both of my parents under one roof. I wasn’t familiar with the term “co-parenting”. I had friends with divorced parents, and some with single parents, but essentially, this parenting style was foreign to me. I honestly didn’t want to think of the possibility that our family might not ever live together under one roof.

But I was naïve. I didn’t think of the “what if…’s”. I didn’t ever think the love of my life would cheat on me. But he had. Repeatedly. And I, being a strong woman, can not stand for that. It had to end. I won’t dwell on what happened, because frankly, I’m over it. The past has past, and we both have to live with the consequences. What I need to focus on now, is what’s best for our son.

While we are both still trying to figure out how to raise our child as separate parents, and what the next step is, here are a few things we have agreed upon that are important to us as we learn the ropes of “co-parenting”:

1. We need, and want, to remember that we had a relationship. It was a great seven years, and our child is proof of that. As he grows, this is something that we want him to know. He was made with love, and although a surprise, he was wanted more than anything.

2. We need to learn how to be friends, or at the very least, be civil towards one another. There ends up being a lot of tension in the air when a relationship of seven years ends abruptly with a lot of hurt. However, no child should ever have to witness that. Once the dust settles, relationship counseling might help us learn to be amicable towards each other.

3. Every single decision made, must be made with our child’s best interest in mind. Simple as that.

These three points will guide us along our co-parenting journey.

Life sometimes throws us a curve ball. I’ve had to make changes to my educational goals, and to my personal goals as well. I don’t know what the future holds anymore, but I know that no matter what, my ex and I are going to work together to give our son the best life he deserves.

What other co-parenting “guidelines” would you suggest? How has co-parenting worked (or not worked) in your situation?