Frequently (at least a couple times a week), I will hear from a mom with a question something like this:
“Help me! I would love to spend more time with my kids but I’m having trouble figuring out how it make it work! How would we survive on just one income?”
Some people might tell them that it is very possible to live on one income; you just have to cut back and spend purposefully. I don’t necessarily think that’s true. If you want to live in a decent house, in a decent neighborhood and want your kids to go to a decent school and wear decent clothes and you eat decent food and have decent transportation, you will most likely need more than one income.
Of course, I know plenty of women who stay home and don’t seem to be hurting financially because of it. But they seem to be more of the exception to the rule than the rule itself.
So my advice is the same to you no matter your situation—whether you are a working mom and want to stay that way, or you’re a working mom who wants to be at home, or even if you’re currently a stay-at-home mom:
Make your own money. Get a side hustle.
What I mean is that we live in an environment where having your “own” money, whether you call it a side hustle or something bigger, is easier than ever. I don’t often advocate women (or anyone really) being completely dependent on anyone else. That “anyone else” could be a spouse or partner, but it could also be your day job. You have to make sure that you are able to provide for your family when you need to. (I cover this extensively in my book, Make It Happen, available for $2.99 at Amazon.com.)
Even if you’re a working mom and you don’t necessarily feel like you want or need to be home with your children, a side hustle gives you that flexibility with your income that allows you to save for emergencies, to pay down any debt and to be able to give your family a bit of financial security.
If you’re currently thinking about becoming a stay-at-home mom, a side hustle can be just the thing you need to help you transition, while still bringing in income for the family.
And if you’re currently a stay-at-home mom, having a side hustle will give you that interaction with other adults that you might be craving and it gives you something to do that is “yours.”
If your gut is telling you that you’re not happy at work and you’d rather be at home, listen to your gut. Be rational and think about ways you can make that happen.
- Analyze the heck out of your budget. You need to see where your money is going and how much of a hit you can afford to take before leaving your job.
- Make a pros and cons list. Be honest with yourself. What will you be giving up? What will you gain?
- Talk to a current stay-at-home mom. Bounce some ideas off other women. What did they come up against? What were they unprepared for?
- Talk to your partner. Understandably, they’ll be pretty nervous about losing money that’s coming into the house. If you’re trying to convince them that staying home is feasible, you better do your homework first. Complete steps 1-3 before launching into a serious conversation about becoming a stay-at-home mom.
Let’s talk—where are the stay-at-home moms? What advice would you give to someone who is looking to leave their job to stay at home with the kids?
I made my transition to being a sahm/wahm about 18 months ago. I knew what amount I was going to need to bring in so we weren’t on the street. I teach fitness classes and do some HR work from home (not my background at all! A blessing that fell in my lap). I feel very blessed to do a bit of what I love, make money and raise my son. You definitely need to analyze your budget and make cuts, but so far we are making it on 1.5 incomes.
The side hustle is a great tip! I was a SAHM for the first six months of my daughter’s life before deciding to go back to work. It’s been a couple months, and now I’m going back to staying at home — not worth missing my daughter growing up and loosing time with her when daycare in my area *starts* at $1100 a month! I was only breaking even at my job, but I’m thinking I might actually make more money if I stay at home and perhaps help other families out with childcare for a few hours a week! Even if I don’t, at least I will avoid being pushed into a higher tax bracket (meaning our family was actually loosing money by having me work!).
I work both at home and outside of the home, but I consider being a SAHM my “primary” role. We are able to cover the bills, but not much else, which I find hard, as I would love to be contributing more to savings, etc. I think the thing that helps me is to remember: this time in your life, with little people at home, is SHORT. It’s not forever, and you can’t really put a price on it either, so be sure to factor the importance of being home with them into the equation, if that is part of your decision-making.
As mom of 3, I often struggle with this. I thoroughly enjoy working, but I enjoy being home with my children even more! I like sending them off to school and making dinner and volunteering at their school. We cannot live off of one income, so what I have decided to do is create some opportunities for myself by creating a lifestyle brand to include blogging, a concierge and eventually a tshirt line. Being authentic to myself was the only way I could think of to connect my domestic desires with my desire to contribute to my family’s bottom line. Entreperneurship has always been my goal and it has took some tweaking and soul searching to figure out what works. I think I am getting there.
@Veronica – Amen!! And in today’s climate it is much easier to bring in some income while at home. I applaud you for figuring out what works for you and your family!