Source: David Castillo Dominici
That’s what my daughter said after she had a recent meltdown in the car and I responded by losing my s***.
The day before, I had yelled about something that, in hindsight, was not that big of a deal. In apologizing to them, I promised them that I would try to do a better job of controlling my emotions (something I’m always fussing at them about learning how to do) and that I wouldn’t yell anymore.
And no more than 24 hours later did I find myself yelling at my daughter.
I didn’t even know what to say. I don’t want to yell at my kids. I really don’t. And when I do, I usually feel bad afterward, because 1) I’m not showing them how to deal with anger and frustration and 2) the thing I’m screaming about (“Go put your shoes on!!”) is not really something worth screaming about.
*sigh*
Some days I can tell that it’s really not the kids, but the lack of sleep coupled with deadlines and an argument with my husband that’s got me all angry and moody. So their typical kid shenanigans set me off.
And some days, yes, they are being hard-headed and need some correcting. After I’ve asked them to do something once or twice, and it’s still not done? I’m yelling.
I’m working on it though. As I said before, I don’t spank my kids. I try my best to explain to them what they did wrong and what the appropriate response should be for the next time. If they’ve done something that I’ve already talked to them about, then they have to go up to their room by themselves or they lose toy privileges.
They hate that.
Part of the reason why disciplining my kids is so hard is because (and I’m not bragging) they really are angels 90% of the time. So when they get out of line, they’re just as shocked as I am. My son just had his first tantrum of 2012 a couple weeks ago. It had been so long that I was like, “Oh, wait—how do I handle this again?”
Another reason is that I do not have enough patience. I am working on getting more patience. After all, patience is a virtue, right? But it’s hard. That’s no excuse, but that’s all I have for now. It’s hard.
Are you a screamer too? How do you discipline your kids?
Your story sounds much like mine in a way. The reasons behind the yelling and the way it starts and the regrets of yelling with the hopes to stop it. But it never works. I have two boys a 5 1/2 & a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2 1/2 yr old girl. They are not 90% of the time angels that’s for sure. But they are very young kids.I on the other hand am almost over the hill. (unlike you ) They are full of energy, full of life, fun kids. But their constant energizer bunny lifestyle has taken my life from calm, peaceful and sweet to a never ending battlefield over crayons and toys. I just wish they would get it. Discipline is hard to figure out. I’m learning as I go along. Patience is something I do have at times but then at other times I can just burst. It is really hard that’s for sure!
Oh I can relate LOL.
Unfortunately I am. This is also something I want to work on. There’s nothing like watching your five year old daughter scream at her baby doll and realize it’s a mirror image of your parenting! It’s difficult to control my temper, because I am also an impatient person. I will usually ask nicely two or three times, but when she still doesn’t listen I just lose it.
My best way to get her to listen is to give her to the count of five, “If you don’t sit down at the table properly in the count of five, you’re going on a time out in your room.” This seems to work really well most of the time. If we’re out at a store, or restaurant, she will have to go out to the car for a time out.
*lowers head in shame*…I’m normally a yeller too! But just like you, it’s normally brought about when I’m overwhelmed. I have noticed that when I take time to pamper myself, relax, meditate and find my “zenful place”, I’m less prone to yell. It takes a major effort for me. I grew up in a household with a “yeller” so breaking that cycle is taking time! Don’t be too rough on yourself 😉
This post makes me wonder what kind of mother I’ll be. I’m not a yeller by nature but I could see that happening.
Not a screamer but I do have a potty mouth that she can NOT stand. I really need to work on it. We’re all works in progress… right?