Confession Time: I Want To Be Selfish

by Sarah T. 

The holidays are quickly approaching, the time where you give to others while being thankful for what you have. Well, I’ve altered my wishlist a little this year. The number one thing I want from Santa is a “selfish coupon” I can cash in whenever I want; a “get out of jail free” card.

Now hear me out. It’s a universal opinion that mothers are all about their children. Dad can take a night off with some beers, watching the game with his buddies, but if your girlfriend catches you at the salon, her first questions to you is “Who’s watching the kids?” or “How did you get away?”

Am I right or am I right?

But see, I’m not even asking for a trip to the salon. It hit me this morning while I was showering. As I finished up, I could sense that my legs needed a shave. That’s when I started debating with myself. It went a little something like this:

Me #1: I will feel so much better in my work pants if I shave my legs.

Me #2: You’ve already been in the shower long enough.

Me #1: If my boyfriend surprises me later, I want to be prepared.

Me #2: Don’t get angry if the kids start pulling out your dresser drawers again because you took forever in the shower.

Me #1: I’ll just jump out real quick and check on them to make sure they’re still breathing, then get back in for a quick shave.

In the end, I hopped out of the shower soaking wet, ran through the house to make sure my kids were behaving, then went back into the shower to shave my legs.

Wow.

The worse part of it is I think this way about most of my decisions. I became an avid runner this year and used to take advantage of that one hour I had to myself between getting out of work and the daycare closing. Recently I’ve been forgoing my runs because I “feel bad” for keeping the kids in daycare longer than necessary. Sigh.

So Santa, I really just want the capacity to treat myself to clean shaven legs or going for a run without the guilt. I love my kids and I know this will pass when they get older and are able to care for themselves for longer periods of time, but Mama needs some slack pronto.

Sarah is a 21- year old single mom to two children. Besides working full time, she enjoys not cleaning or doing laundry, going the occasional date night, and dancing along to music with her kids.