This mama is going on a bit of a break this holiday season, but don’t fret! In between some of the new content, I’m revisiting some of my most popular posts for the newbies to our community. This piece was originally published September 2010.
I came home from class and was thrilled that I made it home in time to see my babies. They had just eaten dinner and it was time for their baths. I wanted to do the bathtime routine myself, since I had been out of town all week and came back just in time for two night classes and another speaking engagement, which meant I had seen them for less than an hour all week. Ugh.
So I began to get the bath ready and laid out their pajamas. I hauled out the various lotions and emollients that we have to slather on them after their baths.
As I glanced at the clock, I realized it was going on 9 p.m. The kitchen was still a mess, I had four chapters to read for class the next day (100+ pages), this blog needed a new post, and I hadn’t even practiced what I was going to say at my speaking engagement. I felt like our life had completely gone off the rails since I started school.
I began to cry. I was physically tired, emotionally tired and I really, really just wanted to lie down.
Since that wasn’t really an option, I went and sat in the closet. (Granted, it’s a walk-in closet, but work with me, alright?) I closed my eyes and counted to 10. I took deep breaths. I told myself, “You’re still figuring this out. It will be okay.”
And you know what? It will be okay. I just got finished reading, Mothers Need Timeouts, Too, and while it wasn’t revolutionary, it reminded me that Tara needs to come first. That I need to make sure I am taking care of my mental and emotional (and physical!) health just like I’m running around taking care of everyone else.
I do all the things I do because I am driven and I have big goals for myself. I push myself hard every single day, including weekends, and I rarely have any downtime. When your whole life is go-go-go, it is hard to shut that off.
This book helped me see that I need to give myself more timeouts.
When do you usually end up giving your kids timeouts? When they are overstimulated or whiny or not listening or any other reason you can think of. But what do I do when I’m overstimulated or whiny or not listening? I keep pushing through, inevitably causing myself even more stress.
But I’m making even more changes now.
1) When I get home, I will take the first five minutes to decompress.
2) I will give myself Saturday off. No studying, no blogging, no work, no anything other than hanging with my babies and loving my husband.
3) I will end each night with a quick hand or foot massage to help me fall asleep faster.
4) I will excuse myself upstairs if I feel like I’m about to lose it. If I have to sit in a closet, I will.
Tell me what you are doing to alleviate stress in your day-to-day life. If I like it, I might add it to my list!