I’m in the midst of writing my second book, a nonfiction title about the realities of today’s young mothers. It’s going to be awesome.
When I was thinking about the release, I realized I was thinking about what would look impressive. How I could package it and make it look fancy for people. I was thinking of how people would congratulate for me writing another book.
That’s the wrong way to go about life. You can’t be thinking about how your life looks, but about how it feels. I was being untrue to myself by chasing what I thought success looked like.
If there’s anything I want to be in this life, it’s authentic. Who I am in the morning is the same person I am at night. Who I am in the dark is the same person I am in the light. When I’m struggling, I want to have that same spirit when I’m successful.
So I had to slow down and revamp my thinking.
I work online all day so I get caught up from time to time in the appearance of things rather than the substance. You can’t look at someone’s Instagram account and know anything about their life. It’s what they choose to share and who is putting their troubles, their fears and insecurities on blast? Not too many people.
We pick the best moments to share. How many Facebook photos have you seen of someone crying ’cause they got laid off? Or a photo of swollen feet from working two shifts straight? We tend to highlight the positive.
I’ve been focusing inward and it feels good. I congratulate my friends on their success and I’m not hating on them because I know there’s more than enough to go around. It’s all about abundance, remember? I don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success because it has no baring on my own.
I’m trying to teach this lesson to my kids as well. Each morning, I pour them cereal in their bowls and they are always looking to make sure they have just as much cereal as their sibling.
“It’s not fair! She has more cereal than me!”
“He has more juice!”
Then I ask them to look at their own plates. Do they have enough food to eat and juice to drink? Yes? Then grab the spoon and start eating. I made sure there is enough food in the house for everyone. They don’t have to worry about going hungry on my watch. There’s a bigger lesson that I hope they pick up on.
I say all the time that we have to stop looking at the house next door. Ask yourself, Am I happy? Do I feel fulfilled? And that’s all that matters.
Keep focused on your own life. Fix what you think needs fixing and let go.
Great post and one that is very much needed! I was having similar feelings like you and I changed the default background photo on my phone to “The only way to succeed is to not worry about what anyone else is doing.” Helps me EVERY TIME.
wow, this was a timely post for me. I’m writing my first book, but I feel the same way sometimes! keeping a good perspective on it all can be so hard!!!
thanks for your transparency, it’s helped me a lot today!
Great post, and so spot on. You’re right, we have to focus on our own lives. This day of social media is crazy; we can easily get caught up with what everyone is doing and not really remember all the time that people share what they want to share.
Well said. The most thoughtful work I have read today.
At our wedding 23 years ago my dad’s toast was both general and wise: “I wish you HAPPINESS.”
Speak on it, sis! There is ALWAYS more to the story! When we take inventory, we actually have more than enough.
So true! Reminds me of this post I saw the other day….http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/we-need-to-quit-telling-lies-on-facebook/
Everyone is so selective about how they edit their lives on social media.
I definitely agree, there is always more to the story so envying other peoples lives or comparing ourselves to them isn’t always a good idea. People are quick to share their successes but very rarely share their moments of weakness, downfalls etc.
However, I don’t think putting people down (they are on trips but have massive debt, went to a conference but didn’t learn much, etc) in order to make ourselves feel better about our achievements is not the way to go about it… seems a bit hater-ish.
@Marie – I surely hope you didn’t take “putting people down to make ourselves feel better” from what I wrote. I’m probably the farthest thing from a hater that I know. My point is what you just said in your first paragraph: “People are quick to share their successes but very rarely share their moments of weakness.” That’s my point. We can’t look at other people’s lives through whatever platform and think we know the whole story. We don’t. So my point about trips or conferences wasn’t about tearing people down, but making examples about how we don’t always know the whole story. Now you make me want to go back and edit it because there’s nothing I hate more than being misunderstood.