The main reason I started this website was to find a community.
I felt like I had been pregnant for three years straight after two back-to-back pregnancies. I had few mommy friends that I could relate to. I was spending my time with kids who couldn’t communicate with me and I was going craaaaazy. I needed an outlet. I needed to connect with other women who “got me.”
I know I am not alone. Being a young mom has its own challenges, namely that you may be the first one in your crew to have a baby so you may feel on your own as you adjust to your new role. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like.
Here’s my advice to you if you’re a young mom who feels isolated. I’d love to hear your tips in the comments section:
1) Commit yourself to getting out of the house
For some, transportation or logistic issues may be a problem. If you don’t have a car or you have a gaggle of kids, it’s harder to just get out and go and get some “me-time.” Still, it’s important for you to get out of the house as often as you can. When you’re parenting within the four walls of your living room day after day, it’s harder to gain perspective.
2) Find a hobby
Preferably a hobby that is inexpensive and easy to get to. My new hobby is restoring old furniture. I see a piece at a yard sale or a thrift store, bring it home and make it pretty. Then I can either keep it or sell it. It’s fun to shop for cheap items and make them like new again. Find something you love (maybe it’s knitting, writing, swimming or running) and do it at least once a week. If you can, find a friend who enjoys the same hobby and get social.
3) Talk to someone
It can be as simple as calling your mom or a close friend, or you can go talk to a therapist if you feel really isolated. Being able to voice “why” you feel isolated is the key. Whether you feel like your friends don’t call anymore, or you’re too tired to hang out like you used to, pinpointing the problem can help you find the solution.
4) Have patience
When I had a newborn and an 18-month-old at home, it was the most isolated I ever felt. Truthfully, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was simply the season of life I was in. I was more likely to be watching Fresh Beat Band than kicking it with friends at Happy Hour. Now my children are older, at 6 and 5 and I can do more. I can go out of town with friends for an evening and not worry about my boobs getting engorged. I can go someplace with my kids and just bring my wallet and keys – no more overflowing diaper bag. Have patience. You will find your rhythm!
Just breath would be a tip I have to young mothers. For the moms who are religious, God can change things if you believe and ask Him. Or if that’s not you, take up meditating or yoga to he get your mind right.
Lord, I remember how lonely it was being a new mom at 22. Yes, a hobby really helps. I do a 3-5 mile run 4 days per week, and I wish I had of started doing that way back when I was a new mom, because at the track, I sometimes see pregnant women and moms with toddlers. I guess most of them are there to get in shape or stay in shape after a new baby. I’ve made casual acquaintances with some of them, and it is nice to talk to other women.
A tip I have is to find out if your city/county has a free Mommy & Me-type program. My county does, and it was a lifesaver after I had my last child. My then 2 year old and 9 month old babies had interaction, and I made new friends (many of whom were 20-30). They had music/movement day, story time days, and even workshops for the parents. They even had free shuttle service to and from the center. I loved it. My kids have outgrown it, but I miss going sometimes.