Whether you’re the mother of one or the mommy of a large brood, your life has undoubtedly changed since giving birth to your first wee one. You’ve given up just about everything from your bed to your personal time for your children, which, though rewarding, isn’t the easiest thing to do. And even if you’ve accepted this new way of life and have settled into a routine, it’s still important to maintain some semblance of yourself. This is particularly true when it comes to your relationship.
Nearly 80 percent of women report a reduction in the amount of sex they’ve had since having children, according to a Net Mum survey, with most making love with their partners about once a week. While it’s obvious that you and your mate can no longer afford the intimate moments you enjoyed together before your babies, you must put forth the effort to continue to nurture your relationship. So how do you balance your kids and a healthy sex life? Here are a few tips for preserving your sex life when children enter the picture.
Communicate With Your Partner
If you’re frustrated with the lack of intimacy in your relationship, don’t be afraid to voice this to your partner. As explained by PBS, communication is essential to any relationship, and a marriage or situation that involves co-parenting requires strong articulation on both ends. Therefore, you must make it a point to touch base with your mate at least once a day.
Be sure to use this time to discuss topics other than your kids and family. From your dull daily routines to your new dreams and goals, having an open dialogue with your partner every day can make your bond stronger and renew the desires you may have forgotten since you started your family. You’ll also feel more at ease about confronting your sexual rut.
Schedule Some Sexy Time
Your life is run by schedules—from work to your kids, every activity in your day is programmed. So, why not pencil in a time for sex with your spouse? Figure out a time when both you and your mate are free, and make it a break for intimate time. Whether it’s a 10-minute quickie or an hour-long love fest, force some time for sex. Not only could this add some heat to your relationship, it could also intensify your libido. These love sessions may become the highlight of both of your days.
Spice It Up
Now, here’s the fun part: getting creative in the bedroom. It’s so very important to change the way you and your partner do things behind closed doors and how you two approach your intimate encounters. This can be done in a multitude of ways, from simple additions to extravagant boudoir extras. Start with the obvious like updating your lingerie or adding new pieces that you ordinarily wouldn’t wear. Also, use your new channel of communication to find out what he’s into these days.
Perhaps you two are interested in expanding your bedroom play by using sex toys. As written at Adam and Eve, these devices have become a crucial part of the sex lives of many modern adults. If you don’t know what to purchase (or how some of these intriguing gadgets work), visit a sex shop or consult an online retailer to see what’s available. The user reviews are especially helpful.
In addition to boosting the romance between the sheets, enhance your passion outside of the bedroom by bringing back date night. Sure, a night out on the town may be out of your budget or you may lack enough time to get away, but this doesn’t mean you should do away with date night. Even if you can’t go anywhere, you and your partner should still enjoy a relaxing evening alone at least once a month. So send the kids to your parents, make a nice meal or order in, and have a date at your place. This may seem like something small, but it’s a great way to focus on just the two of you and your relationship.
Getting in the right mindset is key I think. If you’re looking at sex with your spouse as just another thing on your to-do list or chore then you’re not going to be as in it or make the effort. I had readjust my thinking about it after I had my second baby and it’s been pretty much smooth sailing ever since.
@K.Elizabeth – You hit the nail on the head. For me, I had to look at sex as the highlight of my day, versus “I’m worn out from everything else on my to-do list — now I gotta have sex too?” Once you begin to look at it as a way to connect, to relieve stress, to unwind…your sex life will pick up!
Happy Hump Day! Please accept this nomination of a Liebster Award – http://kirstenwomack.com/liebster-award-nomination/