Blessing and her daughter Camille
By Blessing Oshin from ThinkFeminist.com
Late last year when I decided to walk away from everything that wasn’t working for me—my marriage, job, my town—I knew the transition was going to be difficult.
Everything was happening all at once and not only that, I had my daughter, siblings and parent to worry about. It felt overwhelming, and I cried and cried for days. I prayed. I cried again.
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz
After the big move, when people sent me texts, tweets, Facebook messages of how much I inspire them, I laughed because I felt on these type of days inadequate. But, I’ve started working my way back up, by growing a little taller, getting a little bolder, and feeling whole again. I am a go-getter, a type-A, ENTJ. I know how to get what I want and I enjoy helping others shine their own light too.
“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
Let me tell you, I am a grown woman and I am capable of being whole again.
“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task.” Proverbs 31: 16-17
Your life is your testimony, your failure isn’t. Yes, things may not have worked out the way you wanted them to. You may have lost thousands or millions of dollars in that start-up, business, or marriage but remember that the only failure is making a mistake that you learned nothing from. There are times when I look back and I think to myself that I could be having a blast right now if I didn’t marry early, if I waited for the right person to call husband, if I only did this or that, but the reality is, what if I did and still end up here?
The truth is, my experience in life since I was a child helped me cultivate a life of independence, self-sufficiency, courage and speed. I am not known for slowing down even at sharp turns. I go full-throttle. These core-competencies I developed were due to years of uncertainty, challenges and disappointment and as a result, I have zero regrets. I am at peace with myself, with those who may have hurt me or those who I may have hurt, because I am far from perfect. I am happy to be here, still kicking it on planet earth like my daughter would say. I love this version of me!
Yes, I am a choleric, crazy, sensitive and emotional being. I love my daughter, my career, my small cozy home, and I am obsessed with travel, running, yoga and meeting energetic and amazing people. And that is perfectly fine. I feel whole, I feel amazing and I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I am up to the task, to the challenge of living the best life I can under any circumstances.
How have you approached your journey to feeling whole again after a life-changing event?
Blessing Oshin is a 20-something Chemical Engineer by profession, working as a Global Energy and Environmental Consultant for a Fortune 100 company. She is obsessed with travel, stylish work-wears, healthy eats, yoga and marathons. She is recently divorced, and is a proud mother to an amazing 5yo daughter who loves adventures, books, science and art. She blogs at ThinkFeminist about being a grown woman, climbing the corporate and entrepreneurial ladder, feminist parenting, and the daily life in sunny Philly and NYC.
Wow! This article is exactly what I needed today. I am recovering from the loss of my grandmother who I absolutely adored and cherished. She passed away at the young age of 59. Although I worked during the day I spent my evenings and weekends being her care taker. The year that she passed away I also lost my uncle, lost my job, and my husband left me. It was a year of change and uncertainty. Everything that I thought I knew was gone. That was three years ago.
I can finally say that I am ready to get back to me. I am a go getter, a full speed ahead, take life by the well you know what, move by faith not by sight woman. This article is one of the many reasons that I love the young mommy life.