I’m about to make some highly un-sexy confessions here. For a while, when my mojo was missing and our sex life was on the fritz, I began tracking how often my husband and I had sex to see if our frequency issues were a real thing or just a figment of my imagination.
What I found out was nope, I wasn’t imagining things. We were in a slump.
Slumps mean different things for different couples, but for us, it meant our sex life was out of rhythm. He was in the mood when I was in the throes of PMS-hell, I was in the mood when he was exhausted from work. We couldn’t mesh long enough to get our Ken and Barbie parts together. (I know Ken doesn’t really have parts but…work with me.)
When I began tracking our sex life, I discovered that we tended to get busy toward the end of the week. Very rarely were we intimate during Monday night (I blame football) or Tuesday (I blame Bones and he blames The Mindy Project).
We don’t schedule sex but it’s crossed my mind. Today’s to-do list? Make dinner. Write a post blog. Surfboard.
It doesn’t seem like a very sexy thing to do, but maybe it’s worth a shot. Let me turn to my handy pros and cons list and see what’s what.
Pros
It might eliminate some of the awkwardness that comes with having to initiate sex. It’s not easy to get in touch with your inner Pussycat Doll just to get in a little lovin, but if it’s on the calendar, you avoid that whole “Are we having sex tonight?” question.
It gives you something to look forward to. Think of you and your partner’s sex life like a slow cooker. You’re simmering alll day and when it’s time to eat (ahem), it’s delicious.
It allows you get to better at sex. Practice makes perfect, am I right? 😉
Cons
It might start to feel like a chore rather than something fun. (Well, if sex feels like a chore, you’re doing it wrong.) You’re tired and yet you know you’ve got “reverse cowgirl” on your agenda that evening…you may not want to do it if it feels like something you have to do.
What do you say? Is scheduling sex a do or a don’t?