Even as a child, I’ve always had dreams about how my life would play itself out. I’d dream of being married, with about 4 kids and working as an anesthesiologist at Washington Hospital Center in D.C where I was born. And for me, that was my American dream.
Little did I know that I’d become a mom when I was 17 years old, drop my pre-med degree to study dance, get married, move away from home and do a whole bunch of other things I never thought that I would have. It’s been crazy how much I’ve thought back on my life since my birthday but it’s given me a whole new set of things to dream about.
A few months ago, I turned 30. I know right, 30!!! Not twenty-something but 30! I thought I’d be all cool about it, and for the most part I was and am, but I was kind of freaking out too at the realization that I’ve come to a major milestone in my life and a couple of things were happening.
One thing is that my gray hair is trying to make an early appearance. And to that I say, THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!! I’ve already talked to my stylist about pulling out any kind of black dye that he has to cover it up for me because *in my Kevin Hart voice* I’m not reeeeady!!! And two, it’s forcing me to think about where I want my life to go from here. That part isn’t as scary as it sounds and one that I’m ready to attack head on.
For the most part, I’ve done all the things I aspired to do up until this point. I’ve graduated college, got my Master’s Degree, got married, had 4 kids and started two businesses. Okay, let’s talk a moment about the businesses. As I mentioned, I wanted to be a doctor. In fact, everyone wanted me to be a doctor and it’s all anyone talked about when I was a child. I was supposed to grow up and become the first doctor in the family. But I learned a hard lesson early in life that following my passions meant more to me than pleasing people or making a lot of money. So, I scrapped that whole doctor idea.
But honestly, I never envisioned myself as a business owner and it’s awakened a side of me that I knew was there but was afraid to bring to the forefront. The side of me that’s willing to fight to make my businesses successful and prosperous to the point that my children would be proud to continue to run them if they so choose to. Now, I’ve always been driven but driven to live up to predetermined standards. It’s a whole different monster when you’re the one setting the standards that you live up to — when you set the bar, when your success or failure is solely on you. And upon reflection I’ve realized that this is the part of my life that I’ll be concentrating on for the next 30 years and the next 30 years after that.
In my teen years it was all about building a foundation educationally that would serve as the building blocks to my dreams. In my twenties it was about understanding what those dreams were and putting things in motion to accelerate them. And now in my thirties (oh my goodness, did I really say that??) and beyond it will be about leaving a legacy for my children and their children that will set them up to do and be anything that they want.
And in order for me to do that, I’ll be doing everything that I can to, well, win.
To win as a mom by relaxing a little more and stopping a bit to live life as it happens and not just look back on it through photos that I’ve posted on Instagram. To win as a businesswoman and at the standards that I’ve set for myself and my life to excel above the fray and emerge powerful, strong, smart, strategic and be the kind of woman and mom that my kids look at and say “Wow, she’s amazing!” I hope that they’ll say that anyway because as a mom, the approval of my kids through their health, smiles and warm hugs mean the world to me.
But the part where they look at me and know that I’ve achieved something in my life and done the things that I set out to do means just as much. So I’m focused man, and proud to be here and in this skin and knowing that the next portions of my life are going to be so great. I can hardly wait! Hopefully turning 30 won’t be as dirty as they say it is but more hopeful, more happy and just more WIN!
Yes! My goals have changed! They gotten better and more in line with the woman I’m becoming! Congrats on 30, four kids, marriage, and two businesses! That’s amazing!