2015 marks the end of my twenties and man, what a decade.
I fell in love, got two degrees, birthed two beautiful children, released a book, became self-employed, and bought a house. What a journey.
But I’m noticing a trend in my life over the past ten years. For so long, it always felt like life was happening to me. I was always reacting to things, or recovering from things, but I wasn’t truly living.
I want this year to be different, to be the first year in my adult life where I set personal goals (not professional ones, because I’m already really good at doing that). I want to sit down and think about what makes me happy, what new activities can I try, what new places can I visit, what new experiences can I give my kids?
This is all so new. So often I put off my needs because I thought that’s what responsible parents did. “I’ll only be 40 when my youngest turns 18,” I’d say to myself. “Plenty of time to devote to myself then.”
But 40 is not guaranteed. Life is not promised and there’s no way of knowing that my sacrifice (putting myself last for the sake of my children) will pay off in the next 12 years. Plus, I want to set a great example for my children – this is how you design a well-lived life. How can I do that if I’m waiting until they leave the house to really live?
I also have to accept the fact that yes, living a fuller, more intentional life can be expensive. But that’s what paychecks (and budgeting) are for, so I can do the things that bring me joy in a way that makes sense for me and my family. I want my life to have more meaning outside of what I do for work, but I’m realizing that it doesn’t just happen. You have to actively pursue it.
We weren’t meant for blah. But too often blah is what we settle for.
This year, I’m not doing resolutions or a checklist I want to have finished by 2016. Instead, my word for the year is “pleasure.” What makes me feel good? I feel good when I travel, I feel good when I create, I feel good when there’s delicious food on my plate. I feel good when I’m serving others, when I’m teaching my children something new, when I’m cuddling with my husband after a long day. These are the experiences I’m seeking this year—in abundance.
What are some of your goals for 2015? Does this year feel different to you?
I’ll be 39 on my next birthday and as I inch closer and closer to 40 i become more and more settled in who I am. My 30’s have certainly been an experience…a learning one. And I’ve learned not to apologize for who I am, accept compliments, and stand up for myself. Just recently I began to realize that I must invest in myself and stop putting ME on the back burner. I registered for a sewing class, I created a beautiful writing space in my home that I’ve longed for and I’ve dedicated myself to creating the life that I want ( just like Auntie Oprah says). There’s a quote that I saw in a store that I love: “If you don’t try, you’ll never know”. Those are words to live by.
I’ve always liked the idea of coming up with a word or concept for the upcoming year, rather than specific resolutions. I think I’d go with something like “exploration” – both in terms of adventure & next steps, personally & professionally.
Happy 2015, Tara! <3
So many posts around the web are sharing this sentiment (mine is forthcoming!). My word for 2015 is Intuition. I want to trust it more and follow it without fear. I still plan on working hard, but I also want to ENJOY life as it’s happening. I completely feel you on that!
OMG you hit the nail on the head for me.
First thing I told my husband I want to do is get the kids some passports.
I upgraded my job/career & NOW it’s time to LIVE!