Another day, another parent showing their “creative discipline” skills on social media.
This time it’s Russell Fredrick, a 34-year-old father of three and owner of A-1 Kutz Barber Shop in Georgia. When his 12-year-old son’s grades slipped, he gave his son the “Benjamin Button” special and his grades improved.
Fredrick and the other barbers are offering their services to any parents who wish to teach their kids (sons?) a lesson. In an article from the Washington Post, he offered the following explanation:
“I hope that most people won’t have to do this unless it’s an extreme circumstances and nothing else is working,” he said. “First, you talk or implement your restrictions. But when the conventional ways don’t work these days, you have to get creative.”
I know it’s hair and it will grow back (eventually). What I don’t like is punishment that, on the surface, looks creative and attention-grabbing, but underneath, accomplishes little to change that ACTUAL behavior of the child.
If your kids are getting failing grades, work with them after school, before school, talk to the teachers, make them read, read, read!
If your kids won’t do chores, don’t make that ish optional. Either chores get done or they miss out on the privileges of being in a well-functioning household, i.e. eat your spaghetti off a napkin, with your fingers, since you don’t want to wash dishes.
If your kids keep talking back, tell them they aren’t allowed to “speak” to you anymore and instead have to write their responses to you, down on paper. Cut their allowance, take away their electronics.
So many parents are scared of failing. That’s what this comes down to. Parents love their children and they don’t want them to end up high school drop-outs, unemployed, lazy bums on the street. They want their children to grow and prosper and become incredible adults who have something positive to contribute to society.
I get that. I truly do.
But humiliation (because that’s what giving kids an “old man” haircut is) is not effective discipline. Discipline is literally about being an educator, a teacher, a partner on their journey. As my BFF-in-my-head Denene Millner often says, “You’re the adult. You’re smarter than your kids. You can figure this out.”
We all want what’s best for our kids. Let’s do better.