For a strong four years after we had our two kids back to back, my husband and I rarely had date nights. Sure, we’d sometimes find ourselves on the couch together at the same time on a Friday or Saturday evening and we’d pass the time by watching a movie together, but that wasn’t “date night.” That was “I’m tired and you’re tired and these kids wore us out and my God why did we decide to have two of them” night.
It wasn’t until 2014, honestly, where we took a good hard look at our marriage and realized that what we were doing (having honest to goodness date nights only on anniversaries or birthdays) was killing us slowly.
See, date night tends to get neglected when you’ve got so many other responsibilities vying for your time and money and energy. For many couples, it’s just plain ol’ expensive to go out on regular dates. Once you factor in the babysitter and the actual date itself, it definitely seems easier to just stay home and relax on the couch.
We could have benefited from a book like Esther Boykin’s “The Date Deck.“
In the few short months that I have been reading her site religiously, I have become a huge fan of Esther and all she represents. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping people build healthier and happier relationships (AND she will be speaking at this year’s self-care retreat!).
SEE ALSO: 5 DATE NIGHTS THAT ARE EASY ON YOUR WALLET AND HEAVY ON THE FUN
In this book, she not only gives you ideas for date night, but she also explains why each date has significance and when you might want to put it in rotation. (For example, when you’ve been fighting and bickering, staring deeply into the other person’s eyes on the lake might not be the best idea.)
It’s a quick read and gave me ideas to spice up our dates. But most importantly, reading the book reminded me that I have a good thing in my relationship and it’s important that we recognize date night for what it really is: an opportunity to connect with each other. Her book is a must-read, not just for the date night suggestions, but also for the fact that she has given you an easy-to-use tool to create a more intimate relationship. (I also recommend her 14-day love challenge, as it helped me create a stronger relationship with my husband in just two weeks.)
I’m giving away a copy of The Date Deck to one lucky reader. To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment below on how often you date your significant other (once a week? a few times a month?). I’ll pick one winner on August 14 at noon. Good luck!
If I don’t win, I’ll definitely get a copy 😉
I’m not a mommy, but I would love to find a few new and easy ways to create time alone with my love. ????
Unfortunately thinking about it, not that often. Maybe once every few months :-/
Love these concept!!! Firm believer that DATE Night is NOT optional!! Hope I win!!!
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