Why did I choose this photo to illustrate this post? A couple reasons, but this one in particular:
This photo was taken last year on a lazy Saturday. I decided to lay down for a minute, give them a few precious moments to play together before I had to separate them for naptime.
I flip through a magazine, proud of myself for taking a moment to relax before the inevitable fight that is the daily naptime battle. I get up a few minutes later and I see the scene you see in front of you.
Because I am a social media junkie, I immediately snapped a picture and uploaded it to Facebook. “Look what my kids did,” was the intent.
But in looking at that picture now, I see something different. Yes, I still see a crazy messy room, but in examining the picture more closely, I see books. Lots and lots of books. The 30 or so books strewn around the room are actually only a fraction of the books they have.
One of the lessons I want to teach my kids is the love of reading for pleasure, not just because a teacher assigned something. By surrounding my babies with tons of books, allowing them to see me reading, taking them to the library – all that is getting us toward the goal. It’s one of the reasons I’m able to look at that photo and see success, not just another mess for me to clean up.
We all need to step back occasionally and feel like we are making some type of headway with our kids. Because we worry and we wonder: Are we teaching them the right things? Am I focusing on them enough? Are they happy? Because really, how can you tell?
I think I might have an answer for you. Check out self-checks below:
1. Your kid smiles. A lot. Kids are naturally happy, boisterous little people. But as they go through different phases, they can become moody and cranky (especially if certain needs aren’t met). But for the most part, if you’re doing your job as a mom, all the reassurance you need is right there on your kids’ lips. I have one friend Alex whose daughter is forever smiling. Every picture I see, I can count all her teeth. Alex might wonder if she’s doing a great job, but I don’t even have to ask. The proof is there.
2. You catch them mastering the lessons you taught them when they don’t think you’re listening. Ask any mom and one of the best “perks” of this gig is when your kid first says “Thank you” unprompted. Or when they call you out for using words like “stupid” or “shut up.” They are absorbing what you say and spitting it back out into the world. Your little lumps of clay are taking form.
3. Your instincts don’t lie. Take a few minutes and just be honest with yourself. Do you feel like a good mother? Do you shower your kids with love and affection? Do you go to bed most nights feeling like you’ve done your best? You know better than anyone whether you are doing a great job and more than likely, the answer is going to be “Yes.”
How do you know if you’re doing a great job? Share your comments below!
I know that Im doing a good job when Amani says “Im beautiful because Im me”. I used to say it to myselfin the mirror on days when I felt beautiful. One day Amani took her play mirror amd said the same words. Not only is it my manrra, but hers too.
I’m not mom yet but this post still resonates with me so much. My best friend has a one year old and I’ve been with her as she’s judged herself every step of the way. I’m so happy that she’s “doing alright” by these standards!
Love the picture, I have one very similar. Guess I’m doing pretty good as a mom also! Thanks for the confirmation.
How I know that I’m a descent mom:
*Baby-hugs
*Toddler-Kisses
*Requests to go to the “Art Nuseum” or the “Art Nuseum in Chicago” (yes, they know the difference!)
*and Random “Your Pretty Momma” (cause I tell them the same thing everyday)
Thanks for this! I sometimes wonder if I’m doing a good job with my son, who’s about to be 2 in April….cause it seems like he never listens!! But there are those moments, I get his snacks out and I get a “please”, ” thank you”….hugs kisses out of nowhere. I always see him smiling, with a book….so I know I MUST be doing something right!
I love it! That’s a great lesson. I couldn’t agree more. I love when my little guy picks up a book and just starts “reading”! He’s only 1. He also loves to hand me a book to read to him. It’s the best!
Great post! After reading the post, I had to forward it to my “young mommy” friend. Although I am not a parent, I can appreciate and admire well-behaved and sociable children. Bravo to all the mothers who do a wonderful job.
This post made me smile and warmed my heart. Everything that you said is so true. It’s always great when you can take a step back and see the lessons that you try to instill within your children manifest themselves through their actions. You know you’re doing something right.
Great follow up post to your previous one. It’s great how you can look at things from a different perspective and see something absolutely positive and joyful about it. I think it’s these little things that make a mother’s “job” worth it.
I think I’m gonna stop lurking around in your blog and start more actively commenting
To date, this is only my 2nd comment and I’ve only tried emailing you once but you’ll hear more from me from now on!
Ha- the first thing I said was.. I love all the books when I saw the picture!
Yes. I do feel like Im an awesome mom.. and that I go to bed feeling secure in!
love this post
I love this post! (I noticed the books immediately in your picture, by the way, because my child loves them, too. I recently posted on my blog about this very thing).
I really appreciate this particular post. I sometimes feel guilty that I work and go to school, but I take pride in knowing that my two year old gets my attention 100% of the time after school. My grad school work is usually done during her naps and bedtimes (unless I get super behind — then her daddy takes over). But I know every day that everything I do is for her. She needs a happy, satisfied mommy, and her mommy wanted another degree. Her mommy loves her career. Her mommy loves the fact that her daughter is in a great preschool. Happy mamas make happy children.
I can tell I’m doing a good job by the smile on his face, his laughter, the way he spits out new words every single day, and the way he toddles up to me and says “read please!”
As well as all the ways you listed
Wellll. I do ok with the book reading. Not stellar, but okay enough that I don’t feel guilty. BUT! I must still do better. What I need to stop doing is pulling out my laptop right after dinner. It’s so dang tempting. That time from after dinner until, say, 8pm is so important for spending quality time with the kidlets.
Completely I share your opinion. In it something is also to me this idea is pleasant, I completely with you agree.