Last week, I found myself sitting in my room, crying, angry, sad, lonely. Four adjectives that don’t really make sense for a supposedly happy married mama of two.
But I was sad. Deeply, deeply sad and confused about where my life was headed. I constantly feel this pressure on me, at times it gets so heavy that I literally can’t breathe and find myself hunched over with my hands on my knees, sucking in air as hard as I can so I can feel normal. Uncertainty makes me crazy and it’s taken all my energy lately to get with the program, with the new reality that is being self-employed.
I write a lot about stress and resentment and the drudgery of motherhood. But I decided that a new outlook, a positive outlook, is what’s needed.
I wrote briefly about it in my “I’m Grateful” post but my new daily gratitude exercise is a simple one. Every morning, before my feet hit the floor, before my eyes open fully, I take a minute to tell myself, “Something good is going to happen to me today.”
The key to this exercise is recognizing that the “something good” doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be a magical $500 deposit in my bank account. It doesn’t have to be my husband coming home with dinner, flowers and rose-scented massage oil.
It’s the small things I’m learning to appreciate. Like having my son say, “I love you,” unprompted. Like being able to keep up with the mess my kids’ create all day long and having a clean living room at 8:07 p.m. Hearing my favorite song on the radio. Getting a better-than-usual dish at my favorite Chinese restaurant.
Does the one “something good” I experience every day cancel out the bad things that happen? Nope, not at all. But by forcing myself to acknowledge the daily blessings that often slip my attention, I’m learning to refocus my energies on the things that give me joy. I’m learning to be one of those “glass half full” people when by my very nature I’m pissed if the water isn’t spilling over the top.
I had to learn to take control of my happiness – it’s not something that just happens or that other people can grant you. Happiness is a decision. Making the choice to be happy is something we all must do or we run the risk of being unnecessarily burdened with challenges that don’t belong to us.
I chose to be happy. From now on, my first reaction to the stress in my life will not be despair but patience in knowing the storm is temporary.
Are you happy? Do you know how you can get there?
You are spot on! Happiness most certainly is a choice. Each day in my prayers, I thank God for the little things we tend to take for granted; specifically, food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive (that will start when I crank it), a warm bed to sleep in, and a husband that was there next to me. Keeping a spirit of gratitude helps me maintain a positive outlook on life.
I SO needed this this morning. Thank you!!
I love this post! I’m glad I found your blog
This post could not have come at a better time. I have been in a real funk lately and I’m ready to get out if it and be happy about the good things in my life. Thanks, Tara.
Amen sister!
I’m learning to make myself happy with where I’m at. I’ve never looked to other people for happiness but after becoming a SAHM, I just fell into a slump. And trying to be my own boss just added more stress to the pot. However, I realized that was because I have been looking and focusing on all the negative.
I’m learning to not worry about the things I can’t change or control. I’m not holding on to the negatives. Instead, I turn it all over God and keep my head up. I’ve been feeling so much more relaxed and can actually enjoy my life a lot more.
Aww this is good. I’ve been stressed a lot mainly, undo stress I put on myself though. it’s in those quiet moments that I can see the silver lining and can count my blessings. I say “thank you Jesus” before I get out of bed but I don’t think I’m actually taking heed. I choose to REALLY be thankful and happy from now on.