In case you didn’t know, I work from home. Most days, I’m typing and editing with a clingy three-year-old attached to my side. The stop-start nature of the work, coupled with intimidating deadlines (“Oh, yes, I can edit a 200 page book in a week”), makes it for a difficult ride.
Some days, I’m able to handle it better than others.
And then there are the days like yesterday.
Every couple weeks or so, I have a day when my son just wants to be in my face all day. No, he will not sit down at the table and color. No, he will not watch an episode of The Backyardians while I bang out a couple emails. No, he will not take a nap. No, he will not sit quietly next to me while I edit 5-7 pages of a manuscript. He wants to do stuff and whatever stuff I propose he does is not the stuff he wants to do.
And I get that. He’s three. He wants to go outside and kick the leaves. He wants to run wild at the park. He wants to play with the puzzles at the library. Staying home with mom while she sits and stares at a computer for hours on end? Ugh, I don’t even like doing that some days.
I’m multitasking like 80% of the day so he’s constantly calling me, trying to get my attention. “Mommy, look!” is what I hear 5,000 times a day. “Hold on a minute” is what he hears 5,000 times a day.
So I’ve learned to adjust. I’ve made some strides to get more organized so the tasks I need to do can be done more quickly. I’ve learned the art of making some assignments pull double duty. I let other things slide so I have more time to work after the kids go to bed.
I also learned the importance of spending time, on the floor, with your kids. When I close my laptop and morph into Mommy again, not the crazed lady who is always on deadline, my son’s entire demeanor changes and he practically leaps with joy.
I color with him, and I teach him how to spell his colors. I read him books, and I give in when he asks to read I Can Read With My Eyes Shut for the fifth time in a row. I wrestle with him, even though I know he prefers wrestling with Daddy. When we are in the car, I keep the radio off, so I can hear his voice and the way his little mind is growing.
I’m doing my absolute best, so I don’t feel a bunch of guilt over this. But I do realize that this issue is bigger than just my household. It’s about the universal busyness of our lives.
My workload isn’t about to decrease anytime soon, so it’s about finding ways to honor my priorities. My kids are absolutely my priority, but my work is what puts food on the table. I can’t slack off. And I won’t. But I know my son appreciates it when I emphasize the fact that he is a priority in my life, that he comes first. So I get on the floor and get silly with him. It works for us. What works for you?
How do you make sure to get quality time with your kids?
I worked from home for awhile and it was tough to break from work mode to mommy mode. I had to have my mother come over most days to give that attention. I now work outside of the home but I also come home to work on my side business. I put the phone down and spend lots of time during bath and night time reading doing all the things my little one wants. We play music, sing songs, play with bath toys and read read read. she loves it. It is definitely OUR time.
I knew I was not giving my kids full attention when they began responding to things I would tell them with “just a second” or “hold on for a minute”. Those are the phrases I often use to quiet them or tie them over until I am done with something. Everyday after school is our time together. We listen to music, draw or do whatever they want. On Saturdays, we all do a fun outing.
A great reminder Tara. Someone once commented how kids never learn time, with us always saying “Just a minute,” and then it becomes 10 minutes! Whoops.
I may have said this at some point last week, but I’ve been in somewhat of a funk these past couple of weeks because of the exact same thing. Kinda. Aiden wants to play, I have to answer emails, respond to messages, etc, etc, etc… He says, “Mommy, look,” I say, “One second.” It goes on. And on. And on.
You’re dead on that it’s about the universal busyness of us all b/c I started to write a post like this as well. But, uh, it never got done. LOL. One thing that works for me is to have 10-15 minutes of “meditation time.” Sounds weird, but I’ll ask Aiden to “read” one of his books or do something and I’ll go to another part of our apartment (even if that means I need to “use” the bathroom). I try to unwind, and then I’m all his. When he falls asleep, it’s work, work, work. The grind never ends, but our kids won’t get the short end of the stick either.