The most popular misconception about work-at-home moms is that we don’t work. Or rather, we work, but only for a little bit each day. They figure the rest of the day is spent watching TV or cleaning or cooking or hanging out with friends.
This could not be further from the truth. I’ve never worked as much in my life as I have in the past year. I told my husband recently that I am by far the toughest boss I’ve ever had.
My goal for this year was to 1) work on my business and 2) spend more time with the kids. I spent the first half of the year unsuccessfully balancing quality time with the kids and getting enough time to do quality work. As soon as I found that sweet spot, my daughter started school and so it’s just me and the little guy all day.
It’s so much harder having just one child at home versus two. When my daughter was home, she’d occupy her little brother and even teach him a few things while I busted out some work. But now, my son is just kind of there, with nothing to occupy him but Nick Jr. And I know I want more for my son.
So I’ve been researching some preschools in the area, trying to find some affordable center for him to go part-time, a few hours a day. It’s difficult because I was trying to make it to January having him home with me. I love him and when I’m not under a completely stressful deadline, it’s fun to just hang with him and be in his face all day. But the reality is that I have too much work to handle during the two or so hours I can wrangle throughout the day. Having him in preschool will allow him to socialize with the other kids, learn a thing or two and then come back to a mama who’s not so frazzled. At least that’s what I’m hoping. *FINGERS CROSSED*
Why are some of the most necessary decisions about motherhood also some of the most difficult to make?
I guess the guilt has to do with the expectations that you should be able to do it all (even though you know you can’t). I don’t see anything wrong sending your son to day care so that you can work.
He will be able to associate with other kids, and have children interaction all day. As well as making friends. I know that it’s hard at first, but if this is what you need to do (for you and him), then there is no need to feel guilty.
I hope everything works out, and you and your son makes the transition smoothly.
@KalleyC – Originally my plan was to work about four hours a day and have him with me and then do all kind of cool stuff with him when I wasn’t working. My workload is more than I thought it would be and having him in preschool a few hours a day will allow me more uninterrupted time to get work done, which will hopefully make me more efficient so when I pick the kids up, most of my work will be done!
Don’t feel guilty, I dislike how moms make other mom’s feel guilty because they aren’t with their kids 24/7. You are still running a business and need to have business hours. Even if those ares are from 10am-1pm. Beside preschool helps learning, build social skills outside of family, and allows that lil guy of yours to run off some energy. As mothers we cant do it and have it all even when we have partners. Do what is best for your family and your business. I will admit I have sent my son off to daycare just to have a “ME” day, because my family cant always take him for me. or if i have a boatload of homework. Usually by the middle of the day I miss him, but I know when he does get home. My soon to be 2 year old wont see a grouchy tired mommy.
Please Tara, you shouldn’t feel guilty at all! I am just a housewife/SAHM and sometimes I think I need to send my son to preschool because he might not be getting enough from me. It’s a struggle for so many. A lot of people try to make me feel guilty for NOT having my son in preschool. Crazy!
OMG Shelly, you are so right with this. I’ve been told that I’m sheltering my daughter because I don’t have her in day care. It’s crazy. Some moms make you feel guilty for doing it, and others think you’re being over protective by not. It’s like you can’t win either way.
I feel as mom’s its important to do whats right for our families and for ourselves. NOT! what other moms feel we need to do. I had ladies tell me “well I raised my child, i didn’t send him to daycare”. Trust me the respond i provided was very nice, but she got my point. If you need the time then send him to preschool, its good for him just as much as it is good for you.
Ummm… don’t feel guilty! Being a work-at-home mom means exactly that — you WORK. At home. And I’m sure it’s all sorts of hard with Little Thomas around. This summer was really hard for me while I was at home with Aiden. He’s very active and takes up A LOT of my time and energy and I didn’t accomplish half of the Freelance goals that I set out to at the beginning of the summer. *Sigh*
I’d do exactly what you’re doing now — find him a half-time program and let it be.
@Alicia – I was kind of bummed because I was trying to make it to January (have him home with me for a full year) but then I stopped and realized, “Dude, it’s NOVEMBER!” I’ve been doing this for 10 months. I love my son to pieces and I think this is the best move. Plus, having him only go a couple hours a day is pretty cheap! It’s only about $100 a month.
Don’t feel guilty. Pre-school would be a great thing for him and for you. He’ll get interaction and additional education. You’ll get some free time on your hands.
I felt guilty when I first starting sending my son to daycare full time. You see, I only work 3 nights a week. I used to send him just the day after I worked so I could get sleep. But as he started to get older, and I realized that he needed so much more than I could give him. He needs interaction. More interaction than Curious George and Sesame Street. So I sent him full time. It took a while and a lot of prayer to find the right daycare, but where he is now, is where he is meant to be! So don’t feel guilty! Every situation is different, and every mom is different. You have to do what’s best for your family!
In the beginning, I too felt guilty for sending my daughter to daycare. I questioned whether or not I was being a good mother to her by dropping her off with a stranger for 9 hours a day. However, she soon adjusted and I do believe that she enjoys spending time with the other toddlers in her class and playing. I sent my daughter to a private learning academy where she is able to get personal, one-on-one attention, enhance learning and development skills and interaction with other kids, which is extremely beneficial. In the end, I think it was an excellent decision.