I think I’ll just leave this here. Discuss among yourselves:
Well, before I go, here’s a good comment from a YML reader, from when I posted it on the Facebook page:
It sounds to me that the “sleepover” part was really a side note to the main message of her book, that sex is a topic that should be openly discussed with your teens as an eventual part of any healthy, responsible, long-term relationship, and not simply suppressed with the ultimatum “Not under my roof” or “Not until you’re married.” Although I wouldn’t see that much of a problem with permitting a well informed 18 year old to have a sleepover like that with their bf/gf of 2 or 3 years. I think parents who refuse to acknowledge or discuss their teen’s sexual activity, even when they are the ones paying for birth control and obviously must know it’s happening, are being unreasonable, and perhaps even a bit cowardly. You can’t pretend that they won’t have sex – of course they will, and banning it from your home is not going to stop them. If anything, they will feel as though you are denying their rights as (mostly) adult human beings. Their emotions, and urges are just as real, valid, and intense as anyone ten years older and often even more so due to their hormones at that age, the best you can do is prepare them for it, that is after all your job as a parent.
Your thoughts?
Ok Ok Ok. This is a mess. Yes, teenagers have sex. After you have informed them about sex, protection and all the reasons why they should wait, you can only sit back and hope and wish that they use the good judgement and values that you have tried to instill in them. BUT. There is no way in H E Double Hockey Sticks that I am going to openly condone my 18 year old having sex in MY house. That’s grown folks activity. And if you are THAT grown at 18 that you need a sleep over, then you need to be moving out on your own( without my help) so you can pay bills like an adult and have responsibilities like an adult since you want to engage in adult activity. SMH. I wish my child would…..
I am firmly against it and it surely would not happen in my house. My parents wouldn’t allow such foolishness and I parent in a similar fashion. Using the idea that “if I don’t let them do it here, they’ll do it someone else” IMO is ludicrous. Are parents buying underage kids alcohol too? Supplying weeds and pills? There are boundaries and rules, and we are parents for a reason. We are supposed to set the example and help children find their way in this cruel, tough world. I do think that parents should talk to their children about sex (as early as the parent feels comfortable), and birth control should be discussed, but I’ll be damned if my son/daughter will be getting frisky in my house. No way, no how.
While I don’t agree with permitting teen co-ed sleepovers, I agree with the reader comment that the sleepover part wasn’t the main point of her message, which is parents being more open to talking about sex with their children. That part I do agree with. I caught a whole lot of flack for writing a post on not simply teaching my daughter to wait until marriage once, but just saying “keep your legs closed until you get a ring” does not work!
No, I would not permit my teen children to have boyfriends/girlfriends in their rooms sleeping over and having sex in the home, but I would like for my children to feel comfortable enough look to me as a resource when it comes to talking about sex.