How To Make Time For Your Family While Pursuing Your Passions

As I write this, I’m chewing on chocolate chip cookies. Cookies that my son helped me make three days ago. I had been in the midst of trying to finish up my work for the day, but he kept tugging on my arm, causing me to lose my concentration, so what better way to keep him busy?

My days usually look like this, though. One eye on my work, the other eye on my kids. Write a blog post, take the kids bowling. Make dinner, send a few emails to my clients. It’s not easy by any means, but I remind myself that I wanted this. I could have gone out and tried to find another 9-to-5 job after I was laid off. But instead I wanted to try working for myself, see how that went.

It’s been full of ups and downs. Last summer I lost one of my biggest contracts after they decided to switch payment terms without notifying its writers (Imagine going from $1000 a month to $250 without notice—ouch!). Every April I’m sweating buckets just thinking about what I owe in taxes. I spend most of my time playing catch-up on work I didn’t do while I was busy being Mommy.

But there is the joy. The joy in sleeping in until 8:45 a.m. on a Tuesday (during the summer at least). Of being able to grocery shop at 10 a.m. on a Monday and having the whole store to yourself. Of being able to pick my kids up from school, stay home with them when they are sick, and attend after school events without having to worry about what my boss will say.

It’s a delicate dance. But I’m glad it’s mine. I know I’m fortunate that I have choice. I can decide who I work with and for how long.

Part of the reason I keep going, even when it’s hard, is because I know I’m setting an example. I get emails from women all the time who hate their jobs and how little they get paid. But, they tell me, they do it because they know they have to provide for their family. They hope, one day, to be able to live out their dream.

That’s where I come in. I want to push you to chase those dreams. Motherhood is not, nor has it ever been, a reason to drop your goals.

“But I’ve got to take my kids to soccer practice and I work crazy hours and I barely get enough time with the kids as it is….how am I supposed to do this?” 

First, take a deep breath. You got this. Let me share with you a few secrets I’ve learned on keeping everything in perspective while you put on your big girl panties and make some boss moves:

1) Consider everything you do a trade-off. Instead of thinking about what you’re giving up (sleep, an extra 30 minutes in the day to work out, etc), think about what you’re getting (more financial security, a chance to live in a better neighborhood). If you don’t like the trade-offs you’re making, then change it.

2) Set goals and mark your progress. (Here’s a few tips on helping you stick to your goals.) If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you get there? If you want to be a successful blogger, map out what you consider “successful.” Do you want to make $500 a month from your blog? $1,000? Is that from advertising, sponsored posts, affiliate sales? Be specific and don’t be afraid to dream BIG.

3) Breathe and reboot. For the past six months or so, I started taking Saturdays off. Saturday is my day to be with my family, to catch up on sleep, to eat a decent meal and to just have fun. Make sure you’re blocking off time and space for your mental health to flourish.

4) Be realistic. We tend to overwhelm ourselves with how much we can realistically do by ourselves. But we’re not an army. We’re one person and we can only do so much before we have to ask for help. If you don’t like asking for help, you better practice and get used to it. In order to take your life, your business, your family to the next level, it’s crucial to let people in.

Are you struggling to balance everything on your plate? Do these tips sound helpful? Tell me your thoughts in the comments.