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#SmashYourGoals – 5 Steps To Successful Goal Setting (Part 4 – Do The Damn Work))

July 23, 2015 · by Tara · 4 Comments

You’re reading my five-part goal setting series to help you #SmashYourGoals. Read the other four tips here.

1) Determine what YOU want

2) Visualization

3) Break your goals into reasonable steps

4) Do the work!

This is the simplest and most basic step of all five. It’s time to stop fooling around, to stop procrastinating, and just DO THE $%@$@%# WORK.

Of course, this is where most people get stuck. Because they’ve thought about what they want to do, they’ve made plans for it, they’ve probably told their friends for accountability. But yet, the goal is unmet because they haven’t done the work.

So if this is the step that you usually get stuck on, let me ask you a few questions:

Do you want it more than you are afraid of it?
Would you still be satisfied if this goal is never met? (If yes, sounds like someone needs to go back to step 1.)
If you are in the same place a year from now, will you be kicking yourself that you gave up?
What is your biggest obstacle in achieving this goal? Does any part of it depend on someone else’s actions? How will you navigate that?
Will this goal take longer than you originally anticipated? Are you okay with that?
How will reaching this goal benefit you personally, personally, spiritually, mentally? What is in it for YOU?

As I said in an earlier post, you have to learn how to be accountable to yourself. Accountability partners are great, but you can’t live a successful life if you are more concerned with letting down others than you are with disappointing yourself.

Next up: How’d you do?

Filed Under: #SurvivalGuide, Career, Education, Featured, Money + School · Tagged: Smash Your Goals

#SmashYourGoals – 5 Steps To Successful Goal Setting (Part 3 – Baby Steps)

July 22, 2015 · by Tara · 4 Comments

You’re reading my five-part goal setting series to help you #SmashYourGoals. Read the other four tips here.

1) Determine what YOU want

2) Visualization

3) Break your goals into bite-sized chunks

Everyone gives this advice but don’t nobody listen.

We live in a “dream BIG” culture. Everyone wants to reach for the stars, to stretch themselves out of their comfort zone, to do things they never imagined.

But you can get paralyzed when you’re dreaming so big that you don’t know what comes first or when to make a move or how to even get started in the first place.

Take my upcoming retreat for example. How do you go from thinking about an event that draws women from all over the country to actually planning and executing that vision? I was stuck on how to go about it since I’ve never done anything on this scale before.

So I had to break it up into mini goals I could handle.

First? I got a project manager, someone who could guide me along the path.

Second, I surveyed potential attendees who I could make sure my goals for the event aligned with theirs.

Third, I researched locations and optimal times of year to hold the retreat.

Suddenly, by taking my big goal and creating smaller, more manageable goals, I was able to inch closer and closer to my final goal.

And that’s all this step is. Giving yourself smaller, completely doable goals that will add up to you doing the thing you always wanted.

For those of you in school, you might break your “I want to graduate” goal into semester-long goals:

Find a study partner for Chemistry
Go to the library twice a week to work on capstone project
Meet with my advisor once per semester

Planning small to dream big is how you avoid getting paralyzed and continue to move forward toward your goals.

Next up: Roll up your sleeves

Filed Under: #SurvivalGuide, Career, Education, Featured, Money + School · Tagged: Smash Your Goals

#SmashYourGoals – 5 Steps To Successful Goal Setting (Part 2 – Visualization)

July 21, 2015 · by Tara · 36 Comments

You’re reading my five-part goal setting series to help you #SmashYourGoals. Read the other four tips here.

1) Determine what YOU want

2) Visualization

The simplest method of visualization is to just write.it.down. Grab your Smash Your Goals worksheet and a pencil and get to work. You can also do a vision board or some other method that makes your goals clear and plain to you.

Researchers have found that you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down. There’s something about making that small commitment that leads to bigger commitments.

Here’s two reasons I recommend you get your goals out of your head and onto paper:

1) It serves as a reminder. I currently have my July goals hanging up on a clipboard next to my desk. If I turn to the left at any point during the day, boom, there it is. I can’t “forget” that oh, yeah, I was supposed to write three posts for this blog this week.

2) It keeps you accountable to you. One day I realized that I was not afraid of myself. I had no fear of disappointing myself. Say your boss came up to you on July 1st and said, “I need you to read three books this month.” Even if you forgot to do it all month, come July 28 or 29 you’d be nose-deep in a book, trying to hit the deadline. Even if the goal wasn’t important to you, you’d do it because you need your boss to see that you are reliable. But how often do we not hold ourselves to the same standard? Because we’re the ones making the goals, we’re also the ones who can lax our standards and that leaves us going nowhere. We have to learn to be accountable to ourselves before we can see any type of success.

Next up: Take a bite outta your goals.

Filed Under: #SurvivalGuide, Career, Education, Family, Featured, Love + Family, Money + School · Tagged: Smash Your Goals

#SmashYourGoals – 5 Steps To Successful Goal Setting (Part 1)

July 20, 2015 · by Tara · 1,302 Comments

You’re reading my five-part goal setting series to help you #SmashYourGoals. Read the other four tips here.

1) Determine what YOU want

Not what your parents want. Not what you think you should want because of what society tells you. Not what you’ve wanted since you were a child because maybe those interests have shifted.

Get clear on one thing. What do YOU want?

This was the hardest step for me because for so long I operated according to everyone else’s desires. I went to college because that was what was expected of me. I took the first job offered to me because I needed money. I stayed at that job for too long because that was expected.

But once I got really clear on what I wanted my life to look like (lots of travel and good food and time with my kids), I could get started on making it so.

If you find that you usually set goals but rarely if ever reach them, it might be because you’re not 100% in love with them. You’re killing yourself trying to make it through this nursing program but secretly you hate it. You’re trying to get a promotion at work but you actually like your current job better than the job above you. You’re trying to lose 10 pounds so you can wear a bikini at the beach, but for whose benefit is that?

When you’re really living for yourself, your goals are urgent. You’re hungry. You want it so bad you can taste it.

So take a few moments to discover what YOU want:

What do you want your life to look like?
What puts a smile on your face?
What are some of those “should dos” that you can eliminate from your list so you can focus more on the things you want to do?
In five years, where do you want to be?

Next up: The power of visualizing.

Filed Under: #SurvivalGuide, Career, Education, Family, Featured, Love + Family, Money + School · Tagged: Smash Your Goals

When Childhood Memories Come Full Circle

July 15, 2015 · by Tara · Leave a Comment

This is a sponsored post by Tootsie Pops and these opinions are 100% my own.

It’s a widely accepted fact that old people in church always have “the candy”—usually the peppermint, the butterscotch and that weird strawberry hard candy that I rarely, if ever, see in the stores. (I think it just materializes in their pockets once they hit a certain age.)

As a child, I remember walking into church with my parents and instantly being surrounded by old people who wanted to share their affection for me with candy.

“Go on, you can have one,” my mother would say as I pondered which piece of candy I’d take from an old woman’s outstretched palm. I was a lollipop kid (Tootsie Pops were my favorite), but since most of the older members only carried around the Big Three, I would usually pick peppermint and I’d fiddle with the wrapper all through the church service.

Six-year-old me, ready for some candy

Growing up in the AME church, the weekly church service could range from 90 minutes (ha!) or over two hours on an average week. And if you count Christmas or Easter service? The sun would rise and set before you were through.

Without that little bit of candy to help regulate your blood sugar, who knows how many folks would have been passed out in the pews? I wondered if maybe the older people weren’t just happy to see us, but they also knew that we were in for a long sermon and that moment when we were ready to move on to lunch.

On occasion, I could get a Tootsie Pop out of my mom’s purse and use the little bit of sugar as energy to get us home where we would have a proper late lunch/early dinner. It was always a special day when that happened, because usually my mom didn’t carry too much candy on her person. It felt like I had won the lottery!

The best part was licking the lollipop on and on, knowing I’d get my reward as soon as I made it to the center. Like anyone, there were a few times I couldn’t resist and had to bite through.

Now that I’ve got kids of my own, I appreciate those older members who (still!) offer my kids candy. They usually go for peppermint (just like mom!).

And if they happen to find a Tootsie Pop in my purse, it is a very, very special day indeed.

What memories from your childhood do you see your children repeating?

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Learning The Secret To Worrying Less [You Can Too!]

July 13, 2015 · by Tara · 10 Comments

When I finally dragged myself to the therapist after a near-decade of feeling anxious and stressed with a few dips in depression, I was nervous.

I wasn’t nervous that she’d try to diagnose me with something—in fact, I welcomed a name for what I had been feeling, because at least then I’d be able to address it with the proper tools and knowledge.

No, I was nervous because I was scared that I would need to rely on someone, other than myself, to get through the difficult parts. I already knew my coping skills were shit, and I’d need someone to hold me by the hand and teach me how to breathe deep and go with the wave, instead of fighting against it.

But I didn’t want to that hand-holding to last forever. I wanted to become strong enough and resilient enough that the next time anxiety or depression came around, I would have options. I would understand what was happening. I could pull myself out of it.

Those three months I spent in therapy were life-changing. Because (so far) I’ve been able to do exactly what I hoped I would. I’m stronger. And I’m resilient.

One of the greatest sessions we had revolved around the distinction between “worrying” and “having problems.”

When I’m in the midst of an anxiety attack, it becomes hard to focus. I can’t hear myself anymore. All I can hear is the sound of confusion and fear and overwhelmedness (is that a word? it should be).

But in one session, my therapist gave me tools to help me figure out “what’s next” when I feel like I can’t cope.

“Worrying,” she told me, “is inherently stressful. It’s thinking about all the whos and whats and hows that could go wrong and it robs you of energy.”

“Exactly,” I told her. “And I feel like I’m a worrier by nature. I’m the Queen of Worst Case Scenario.”

She chuckled a bit and nodded. “A lot of us are. But really, the best thing we can do is practice the difference between worry and problems.”

See, we think they are the same thing. That we are worried about our problems. But if we separate the two, we begin to get our power back. Worries are often irrational, but problems have solutions. Sometimes you don’t need to “destress.” Sometimes you just need to problem solve.

A simple example:

Worrying is drowning in two feet of water because you “can’t swim.”

Problem-solving is just standing up because, hello, you don’t need to swim. You can just stand.

Once I began to put that into practice, I began to feel lighter. But not only that, I felt more powerful. As it turns out, I’m the Queen of Worst Case Scenario but I am also a fantastic problem solver.

This doesn’t mean that nothing stresses me out anymore or I don’t have anxiety attacks or everything is awesome. They still come and I still have to remember to put everything I’ve learned into practice. I’m still…learning.

But life is better on this side of the mountain. Even if there are more hills to climb, I made it over the biggest one.

“The diff btwn worry + problems is that problems have solutions.”

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Filed Under: #SurvivalGuide, Featured, Health + Fitness, Love + Family ·

Are You Ready To #SmashYourGoals With Me?

July 6, 2015 · by Tara · 4 Comments

At the end of 2014, I was worn out. I was depressed, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and I spent most of December in bed.

As I prepared for the clock to strike midnight and usher in 2015, I decided that THIS YEAR would be different. No more waiting and wishing and hoping the things I didn’t like about my life would magically change.

Nope, this would be the year that I put in the work, got serious about my goals and worked at creating the life I knew I deserved. (Meaning: greater cashflow, more quality time with the family, more freedom and flexibility in my professional life and more opportunities to travel and grow in my hobbies.)

And wouldn’t you know it? I could not be happier with my progress. I’m smashing my income goals (look for details on that soon—I want to help you get financially free too!), I’ve taken three family vacations so far this year and I feel re-energized about my career.

How did I make all this “magic” happen?

Simple. I take a few minutes at the beginning of every month and I answer a few questions:

What do I want this month to look like? To feel like?
What do I need to improve?
What do I want to accomplish this month? How am I going to do that?

And every month that I do this exercise, it never fails that I end the month on a high from completing everything I set out to do.I usually write this on a page in my notebook, but I pulled together a quick + easy worksheet for you to use and #SmashYourGoals with me.

If you’re already on my mailing list, guess what? The worksheet is already in your inbox. But if you’re not connected with me, just drop your email in the box below and you’ll receive the worksheet in your inbox within the hour!

I appreciate a tweet if you please:

Need help learning how to #SmashYourGoals? Join me and @TheYoungMommy:

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She Inspires: Samantha Chuawongse, Teen Mom + YouTube Power Player

July 2, 2015 · by Tara · 7 Comments

Last month I had the privilege of joining an amazing group of bloggers in L.A. for a fun event. Since we were mostly Millennial moms, there were tons of young mamas in attendance and we bonded over stories of breastfeeding in class and constantly being mistaken for the big sister.

I met the funny, beautiful YouTuber Samantha Chuawongse, and am now obsessed with her videos. (Her makeup tutorials are mesmerizing and her family videos are too cute.) She is killing it over on YouTube (seriously, over 300,000 subscribers!) and I had to feature her on the site because I love profiling teen moms who do it BIG.

Please give Samantha a big ol’ YML welcome!

Samantha Chuawongse, vlogger over at Saaammage

How old are you and how many kids do you have?

I’m 22 and I have two daughters, a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old.

Where can we find you online?

You can find me at: http://www.youtube.com/Saaammage or http://www.youtube.com/sillysaaammage

Get a peek at her adorable family!

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child I felt:

Anxious and confused. I always wanted to have kids young when I felt stable enough to do so but its so so much different when you are actually having one! I react oddly to change so it was a lot to handle but it was very exciting once the goosebumps went away.

I blog because:

It’s all I know! This has been my high school hobby turned profession for the past 6 years. I continue to do so because it is something I feel I excel in and enjoy. It’s also nice documenting memories to look back on whenever I need a walk down memory lane.

Whenever I have a moment of free time I look forward to:

Seeing friends, doing things that you just can’t do enjoyably with kids. Generally I look forward to just feeling like an individual that doesn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders and a million things to remember.

On really tough days I cope by:

Retail therapy, comforting food… And a little cry session in the shower never hurts.

If my kids can only remember one thing I taught them, I hope it’s:

To be a good person. Be respectful. Be appreciative. Be strong. Give to those less fortunate with good intentions and a positive heart. All morals my mother instilled in me.

My mommy superpower is:

Planning ahead. My offensive plan for everyday is to always be one step ahead. Know what everyone wants and needs prior to them knowing. Having clothing laid out, food prepared, shoes by the door, laundry by the machine, etc etc is the only advantage I have ! Also I’m pretty stealthy. We all know if the children spot you half of your to-do list will get pushed to later. I’ve mastered the art of sneaking in and out of rooms without being detected.

The most surprising thing about motherhood is:

How emotionally draining it is. It’s true you never knew how much you could love someone until your first child is born. But no one warns you about the emotional roller coaster motherhood takes you on. Let’s be honest we have a love hate relationship with our kids at times. But if someone told you that prior to motherhood you wouldn’t believe you could ever dislike your own kids even for a second.

I know for sure I’m passionate about:

Ultimately being a good mom. I’ve always said no matter as long as I’m a good mother at the end of the day to my children and they grow up to be good people then I’ve done something right.

If I could have/invent one item to make motherhood easier it would be:

Something that makes you super fast. There is always something to be done! Now if we as moms could move even faster than we already do… Maybe we’d get it all done for once. (Yeah right! We’ll find other things to do…hehe)

My personal motto is:

“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

My piece of advice to a mother who might be struggling right now is:

Eventually it does get better. Cliche yes. But very true. I’ve had my share of meltdowns and moments where I just don’t know how to make things better. You don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but there is one. And yes there will be another tunnel of darkness eventually because that is life but as long as you hold on to what you love near and dear to you and keep going you’ll always make it through. Don’t give up. You are stronger than you know.

Filed Under: Family, Featured, Love + Family, She Inspires ·

Have Fun All Summer With BJ’s Wholesale Club + A Giveaway!

June 30, 2015 · by Tara · 36 Comments

This past weekend, we went to BJ’s Wholesale Club for a big shopping haul. As part of my “contain the grocery budget by any means possible” strategy, I go to wholesale clubs to stock up on certain staples like protein, pasta, frozen food and snacks. As I stated before, BJ’s surprised me with its organic selection and I was excited to fill up our cart with some delicious organic food.

Since it’s summer, I decided to surprise the kids with one special, non-food purchase. My kids have talked about getting a slip ‘n’ slide for the past two summers, but I kept forgetting to get it! This time, I made their whole day by finally getting one (which we’ll use as soon as it stops raining — sometime in July at this rate!).

BJ’s had a great selection of summer toys — squirt guns, lawn sprinklers, pool gear and more — that had my kids begging me to get all the way to check out. (Did they not see that I got them the slip ‘n’ slide? Ugh, so spoiled! LOL)

BJ’s carries a range of value packs on sun care products from Neutrogena, Coppertone, and Banana Boat, so you can just buy it once for the summer and be done with it. My biggest problem is I never apply enough sunscreen, so it takes forever to go through a bottle. But as I’m working on being more diligent about sun safety (someone hold me accountable!), savings like this add up and help keep my family covered during these warm summer months.

BJ’s was generous enough to provide me with a $50 giftcard to give away to one lucky winner (you can also get a FREE 60-Day Membership if you are not already a member). Follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter below before July 7 to get your entry in!

Disclosure: I partnered with BJ’s Wholesale Club for this review and as always, my opinions are 100% my own.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: Featured, Giveaways, Health + Fitness, Love + Family, Sponsored post ·

UMIGO.com Is A Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved Website For Your Little Math Lovers

June 26, 2015 · by Tara · 19 Comments

Over the past year, my 6-year-old son has really blossomed in math. I was talking on the phone to my husband about a delivery with my son present. “It’s going to be an additional $50 with a $59 delivery charge,” I told him.

“They’re charging you $109 dollars?!” my son Thomas asked, his eyes wide.

My husband and I looked at each other. When did he learn to do math like that in his head?

We want to make sure his math skills don’t deteriorate this summer, and while completing worksheets and flash cards used to be my go-to tools for helping the kids with their math, now there’s UMIGO.

UMIGO.com (pronounced “you-me-go,” short for “You Make It Go”) is a FREE vibrant world of adventure that uses the building blocks of math to engage early elementary age kids in short, narrative-driven “appisodes.”

We played the “Who Woke The Mummy?” appisode (well, Thomas played it by himself while I watched) and I watched as Thomas helped the three explorers use their geometry knowledge to escape from the newly awakened mummy.

“I like it better than doing worksheets,” Thomas told me. “And I like the characters too.”

UMIGO is free to use thanks to a US Department of Education Ready to Learn grant. Its content aligns with Common Core Standards for mathematics for first and second grades and as a rising second-grader, my son was easily able to keep up and advance to higher levels.

But in case you’re worried about your kid having too much screen time (I hear that!) UMIGO also offers some at-home activities that correlate with each of the appisodes, so you can take the lessons offline if you choose.

On June 19, National Summer Learning Day, UMIGO kicked off the Summer of UMIGO in an effort to help combat the “summer slide.” In partnership with the National Summer Learning Association, UMIGO will bring its narrative-based appisodes, interactive games, activities, and educational resources to more than 70 communities around the country. You can find a location close to you by looking on the NSLA’s interactive map at SummerLearningDayMap.org.

I’m happy to find out about this new site and look forward to integrating it into our Mommy Camp lessons this summer. No summer slide over here!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post on behalf of The Mission List and all opinions of course are my own.

Filed Under: Education, Family, Featured, Love + Family, Money + School, Reviews, School-Aged Children, Sponsored post ·