Guest post: 15 & Pregnant

I first met Lisette back in March when I went to D.C. as part of the National Crittenton Foundation’s annual meeting and reception.  (See us below? We look like a couple of babies, don’t we?)

Lisette was one of the speakers at the reception and she was up first. When I tell you she had me shaking, I mean it. She was incredible. Passionate. Determined. Definitely made the list of my personal “sheroes.”

I had to get her on the blog, and I’m so embarrassed it took so long. Never mind all that – prepared to be awed:

Interview with Lisette Orellana:

1. What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant?
Being pregnant at 15 is not quite a girls’ lifelong dream, at least it was not mine.

At 15, the only thing I was thinking about was doing well my sophomore year in high school so that by the time I got to my junior year college would pretty much be covered. Yeah, I was that kind of girl who planned everything in her life…except that I forgot to plan that at 15, I did not want to have a child.  My first reaction? I felt like the entire universe had somehow managed to turn on me and my life was totally over! Needless to say that I was petrified of the idea of becoming a mother.

2. Is there anything you would go back and change – any lessons learned in hindsight – from those early years?
Looking back now eight years ago (yes, I’m a proud mommy of an 8-year-old girl and a soon to be 7-year-old boy), I think the only thing I would change is taking charge of my life much earlier than I did. However, I am a firm believer that our life experiences shape us to be the person we were meant to become. 

3. Was there any particular struggle that you can look back on and point to as a growing pain, something that made you flourish? 
My biggest fear was having to make the decision to raise my children without the presence of their father, and for a very long time I tried to hang on to a relationship that was shattered because I felt that they needed an intact family.  I became a single mother by choice, because I learned that sometimes an intact family is not in the best interest of the children, as it was in my case. Being able to realize that my children’s well being comes first gave me this new sense of empowerment and made me believe that there was nothing in the world that I set my mind to that I would not be able to achieve.

4. What are you up to now? How have your early experiences with motherhood influenced your future career path?
After having taken control of my life again, I completed high school and went off to college.  I finished my bachelor’s two years ago and am happily working the social services field for the State of Maryland.  I realize that I would not have been able to do everything alone, and so I decided I want to give back to the organizations that made a difference in my life.

I volunteer for Crittenton Services of Greater Washington by working with teen mothers, I have joined a Board of Directors for an organization that will be helping teen mothers access college (Generation Hope), and I also talk all over the state to share my story on how more programs are needed to support and guide young mothers into completing their goals academically and make them go out into the world as self-sufficient women.

While all this is incredibly rewarding, I am now faced with personal struggle of whether or not I am doing enough for my children and if trying to take on personal projects to better myself that conflict in my parenting and spending enough time with them. But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t tell them how blessed I am to have them in my life.

While I understand that we all have different experiences of young parenthood, having “been there” made it easier for me to decide that working with young parents is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. In order to help more people out, I am preparing to go back to grad school and start my Master’s in social work.

5. If there was one piece of advice you would give a young mother, what would it be?
Remember that being a mommy doesn’t mean that YOU don’t exist anymore and that you must make yourself happy and be at peace with yourself before moving on and making your children happy =) One thing I have learned is that it is ok to ask for help.  We need it, and thankfully we’ve got The Young Mommy Life as a place to turn to for support! Thanks Tara!